Gransnet forums

Care & carers

Grandson has rare leukemia. Not sure how much longer I can hold up.

(64 Posts)
Mebster Thu 27-Jun-19 02:46:01

I love him so much, as does my husband. We spend most nights at hospital. His parents seem to be withdrawing a bit and depending more on us for care. I'm sure he senses this and is upset. He's not doing too well and has been in hospital for over two months and will be for quite a while longer. I love spending time with him, even sick, but he's depressed and I find myself crying a lot and unable to face friends. He is 8, his little brother is healthy and a joy but we get far less time with him.

stella1949 Thu 27-Jun-19 03:21:34

Oh dear, Mebster how sad for you and your family. Terrible to see your little man so ill. Sending a hug to you (())

BradfordLass72 Thu 27-Jun-19 03:28:09

Oh how heartbreaking for all of you Mebster .

Is this the kind of leukemia which can be treated and (hopefully) cured?

All you can do is stay strong and be as positive as possible but explain to your darling boy that tears show how much you love him.

You may also explain that his parents don't want to make things worse for him by being upset in his presence all the time - so they have withdrawn a little to cope with their grief in private.

It's not a rejection of him (which he may be fearing) but simply a result of their overwhelming love for him and the desire to spare him more pain.

You will also know that unbearable grief is exhausting, mentally and physically, something an 8 year old won't understand. They are trying to give themselves enough strength to carry on and cope with all eventualities.

Poor little fellow, he doesn't deserve this, nor do his parents and sibling (don't forget he will be grief-stricken too) - and neither do you my dear Mebster. What a sad, sad time for you all.
flowers

Starlady Thu 27-Jun-19 05:17:52

Hugs!!!!

Pantglas1 Thu 27-Jun-19 05:18:21

Thoughts are with you this morning flowers

Whitewavemark2 Thu 27-Jun-19 05:45:59

His parents and his grandparents are all that little soul has.

Now is not the time to indulge in your own emotion, now is the time to give that boy every support and love he needs.

Sorry to be harsh. Of course it is heartbreaking beyond belief and none of us know how we would react but I think it is your grandson who must be first and last in you thoughts at the moment.

My heart goes out to you, every good wish for your grandsons speedy recovery, and strength to you to give your grandchild the support he needs.

Apricity Thu 27-Jun-19 05:55:44

Mebster. my heart is with you and your family. One of my grandsons was diagnosed with a rare cancer when he was 2 and I can understand some of what you are going through. I didn't sleep properly for the whole year he was undergoing treatment and just burst into tears when anyone asked how things were going.

Like you I spent a great deal of time at the hospital with him. He was never alone for a single night and had people who loved him around him at all times. I do believe in the power of love but sometimes it isn't enough.

My precious one is now nearly 10 and thriving thanks to the wonders of modern medicine. Recently I came across a photo of him when he was so ill, no hair, very pale and I just sat there with tears streaming down my face. I am crying as I type this. My very best and very heartfelt good wishes to you all and especially for your little one. ?

silverlining48 Thu 27-Jun-19 06:38:50

Mebster Sending you and your grandson all my very best wishes. It’s so hard but keep doing all you can and hope treatment goes well and he begins to feel better soon . I have been there so do understand just how painful it is when someone you love is very ill. I will be thinking of you all.

BlueBelle Thu 27-Jun-19 06:53:26

Oh mebster all I can send is my love and thoughts for you all, especially your little grandson
Medical science is wonderful now and I know of children who survived Leukaemia as apricity has illustrated
Try to stay as calm and optimistic as possible these emotions will be passed to your beloved grandson ?

EllanVannin Thu 27-Jun-19 06:56:47

Devastating ! Sending love and strength because we as a family can relate to that cruel illness. After stem-cell treatment 2 years ago, my 7 GGC have still got a father.
Where there is improvement in treatment, there is hope x
Thoughts to all concerned.

Jomarie Thu 27-Jun-19 07:13:27

I have no words to express how sorry I feel for you all - hold on - is all I can say and be cheerful for your GS when you are with him. To a child a loved adult crying in front of them is so distressing so please try to keep these tears for when you are away from him, if possible. flowers

gillybob Thu 27-Jun-19 07:14:26

I can’t begin to imagine what you must all be going through Mebster . The poor little lamb. His parents must be terrified and that feeling of helplessness can be overwhelming . Not sure what else to say except try and stay strong . Sending you love, strength and of course very best wishes to your darling little grandson for a full recovery x

Urmstongran Thu 27-Jun-19 07:22:42

This must be heartbreaking for you all Mebster I just want to send my best wishes in the hope of a good prognosis for your darling grandson. You are all going through a tough time and I can only imagine your pain. x

joannapiano Thu 27-Jun-19 07:25:55

My nephew had acute lymphoblastic leukaemia when he was three, in the 70’s when the treatments weren’t so refined. He made a complete recovery and is now 43. It is a heartbreaking time for everyone. Try to stay strong, the family need you.
Our son in law has just been diagnosed with a very bad cancer. DH and I are trying to give as much physical help, eg school runs, gardening, as we can. His Consultant told him to just take life one day at a time, which we are all trying to do.
So sorry you are going through this hard time.

Brunette10 Thu 27-Jun-19 07:38:12

Mebster - can only wish you all well and pray that your little DGS comes through this terrible illness. flowers

Grammaretto Thu 27-Jun-19 07:45:45

Sending you my sincere good wishes . I hope the little chap makes a full recovery. I am glad you are able to be with him.
I spend some of the time when my DH goes for cancer treatment at the Maggie's Centre. Is there one near you? They are such a support and a peaceful retreat for anyone affected by cancer.

Marydoll Thu 27-Jun-19 07:59:58

My prayers for all of you. flowers

Namsnanny Thu 27-Jun-19 08:00:10

Mebster...I cant begin to understand what you are going through, but I can send you and your beautiful gson my sincere and heart felt good wishes.

If you can please use gn as an outlet for your pain and try to keep smiling for your lovely gs , not forgetting his brother and mum and dad.

flowers Good luck shamrock

TwiceAsNice Thu 27-Jun-19 08:11:18

I feel for you very much . My son was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukaemia in the 80s. He spent a long time on hospital and we had a lot of support from grandparents and friends. Grandparents actually moved onto our house whilst we were living at the hospital as I had an 8 month old baby and his other sister was 7, he was 4.

It was a terrible time although the hospital we were in was wonderful to us all. He knew very much how I’ll he was, they have a sixth sense. Please keep your grief to yourself when you see him don’t let him see you cry. As bad as this is you and his parents must dig into your inner strength and put him first always. Do all you can to distract him and find fun ways to engage when he is well enough. One of the cancer charities may well give you extra support but only fall apart on private. Treatment is much more advanced now take a day at a time and have hope. I send you my prayers

ninathenana Thu 27-Jun-19 09:00:12

I have nothing to add to the replies already given.
I just wanted to send love to you and all your family and strength to cope with this sad situation.

sodapop Thu 27-Jun-19 09:05:13

I can't add any more to Twiceasnice post. Only to say you have my sympathy and I know you will be able to help your grandson through his illness. God bless you all.

crazyH Thu 27-Jun-19 09:14:44

Dear Mebster, my thoughts are with you. Hopefully, this is the type of leukaemia that can be treated and cured.
Hugs for you all flowers

Sar53 Thu 27-Jun-19 09:36:57

Mebster I am so sorry to hear this about your grandson. My very best wishes to you and your family.

GrannyGravy13 Thu 27-Jun-19 09:45:47

Mebster sorry to hear your Grandson is poorly, sendind love and hope to you all ?

merlotgran Thu 27-Jun-19 10:07:58

Sorry to read about your grandson, Mebster I do understand about not being able to face friends. Messaging people is one way of keeping in touch without worrying you might break down in the middle of a conversation.

Sending my best wishes.