My heart goes out to you Betty 65.Advanced dementia is devastating for all concerned. You are not mean or uncaring - there is a limit to how much you can take. I loved my mum so much and still miss her every single day. She was the best Mum and Grandma , wise , caring , sensible and open minded .She taught me and my siblings about the things in life that really matter. Lived with us four years , but had to make the difficult decision to find a care home for her -it broke my heart! Betty 65 , if you do decide on a care home my advise is do not be afraid to move her to another if you or she is unhappy about the care she is receiving. If she complains about the care she is given,
do listen and investigate because even with dementia there may be an element if truth in what she tells you.
When she is happy in care , you will be at peace and in a position to rebuild your mother / daughter relationship. You will have control of when and how often you visit - you will have your life back ! Unless some one has lived through this they have no idea of how very hard it is. When my Mum came to live with us I had no intention of her moving into care.I thought she would be with us to the end - how wrong I was . Do I feel guilty , yes , do I regret my decision , no !!! Betty 65 good luck and please look after yourself.