My husband, aged 68, has Lewy Body Dementia and has been in a nursing home since January this year after 3 years of care at home by myself with carers coming in for the last 6 months. He is completely immobile, requiring everything to be done for him - feeding, dressing, washing, personal care, switching TV or radio or CD player on etc. Sadly, he is aware of life going on around him and in the wider world outside the nursing home, although he sleeps for large parts of each day. The care home is local to myself and our two adult children and the staff there like my husband and provide excellent care.
My nephew, who is very fond of his uncle and me, has offered to covert an annexe at his home into a purpose built "disability suite" for my husband to live in. My nephew's partner is an experienced carer and they have two children aged 15 and 1. I have discussed a possible move with my husband and he is in favour as he would see more extended family members. Both our children are away on holiday so I will call a family meeting when they are both back home.
There are pros and cons to a move:-
Pros:- More trips out to pubs, old haunts, possible football matches as more younger folk available to manhandle wheelchair into WAV. More company from various relatives, some of whom could work from home in the annexe on a rota basis.
Cons:- My nephew lives 200 miles away in my husband's (and my) hometown. I need to stay in my current home to help with school runs for our grandchildren 4 days a week. I could travel by car or train each week (or most weeks) and would see him as much as I do now (an hour or so every other day). He would, however, see little of our grandchildren as they and their parents have social activities or need to relax at weekends. I would think a visit every 4-6 weeks as they do with their other grandparents might be possible, + FaceTime calls.
Sorting out a new care package and paying for it would not be an issue with my nephew's partner being well versed in the system. Costs would be broadly similar either way and so are not a problem.
I am unsure whether to move my husband or not and thought the wise heads on Gransnet might "see" things that I haven't considered, or even have done something similar themselves.
