Hi
I think I’m really just putting this on here as I need to talk to people who understand.
My mum is 81 , physically fit and well though her memory is getting worse ( I’m beginning to suspect dementia). Dad passed away 5 years ago from dementia.
I’m her only contact and she has made me her whole world . I hate to say it but I’m really struggling . She used to come to my house 4 days a week but I’ve changed my job so now she comes 3 days a week Since I changed jobs she is spiralling into depression and says it’s really hit her . She is on antidepressants already .
I have tried to get her to join various clubs in the village but she says they full of old people and it’s not for her !! She did agree to going to an arts and crafts club but said she forgot ( even though I text her to remind her ) my friend does mums nails and told me she is worried as she she she seems so depressed . She talked her into going to the same club the next week but again she said she felt ill and couldn’t go . Basically I feel mum is just sitting in the house alone all day doing nothing and seeing no one . This would be ok if I felt she was sitting there happily but she isn’t .
As a daughter how do I cope with the feelings of guilt and responsibility. I feel like I have to “fix” everything for her and make her happy . I work full time and have 6 grandchildren ( two of whom live with me most weekends whilst my son is on deployment with the armed forces )
As for dementia I went with her to the dr for something unrelated and he said why don’t we book in to look at the memory loss . She hasn’t and I feel a diagnosis is too scary for her and realistically once dad got his diagnosis he became very depressed and frankly I wish he hadn’t known . We got absolutely no help whatsoever for him as mum was fit enough to look after him .
Sorry this was long . I don’t even think I’m looking for advice , just a listening ear x
