Lack of Carer's courtesy while in your property

You should contact the Agency and ask the carers' manager to deal with it.
If this doesn't help contact a different agency

How long are they contracted to be with you ? 12 minutes is no time to help care properly for someone especially if they are hiding in the bathroom on their phone? Why are they sitting outside doing nothing?

Please phone the agency and clarify what you can expect, especially the amount of time . Explain everything you have seen. I may be wrong but I would have thought you should have something in writing regarding their service/contract.

I feel for you it sounds horrendous hope it improves soon

Agree with both the above. Do mention ‘phone and car park time too.

* But what really upsets me, and perhaps I am being a little petty about it, that they all seem to want to use the bathroom for themselves before they leave (male & female) without ever having the courtesy to ask if I would mind first. *

They have just used your bathroom in the course of caring for your husband.

Of course , before leaving they must use the bathroom again "for themselves" to wash their hands; essential hygiene. I'd be shocked if they did not.

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I agree with butterandjam about using the bathroom.

Is it possible they have to complete records of their visit on their phones? And look to see where their next visit will be?

Just some possible explanations of what you are seeing, but to be sure, contact the agency to find out exactly what you can expect.

butterandjam

* But what really upsets me, and perhaps I am being a little petty about it, that they all seem to want to use the bathroom for themselves before they leave (male & female) without ever having the courtesy to ask if I would mind first. *

They have just used your bathroom in the course of caring for your husband.

Of course , before leaving they must use the bathroom again "for themselves" to wash their hands; essential hygiene. I'd be shocked if they did not.

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But surely they would be wearing disposable gloves.

There should be a written contract specifying exactly what services they will provide and over what period of time. They should not be allowed to use their phones while on your premises unless in an emergency.

If there is not a written contract demand (not ask) demand one and then make sure it is fulfilled to the letter.

NICE states that home care agencies should ensure visits last at least 30 minutes.
Shorter visits (such as 15-minute calls) are heavily discouraged and should only occur in exceptional circumstances. Exceptions where shorter visits are permitted include:
Specific tasks: Short check-ins to ensure a service user has taken medication.
Safety checks: Quick visits to ensure an individual is safe and well.
Prior agreement: When the person receiving care (and their family) has.

If your agency is cutting visits short without your prior agreement and you are not receiving the care stipulated in your care plan, you should report this to your local care manager or the Care Quality Commission (CQC).

1. Check exactly what the Care contract for your husband includes. Note what is and is not happening specifically for each agreed action in the contract
2. Contact the agency and specifically state the facts about which actions are not being completed to support your husbands care
- stick to specific facts against specific contractual actions regarding your husbands care rather than "they use my bathroom"! Make sure it is things that directly impact on his care and comfort ( eg does the bedding not fully tucked in impact his comfort? Or is that you irritated as not meeting your standards? )
4. If you speak on the phone follow up with an email to ensure a written record. Consider making contact by email rather than phoning as this makes it easier to be very clear about what your specufic concerns are related to contracted actions not being completed.
5. Wait 2-3 days and if no reply, follow up requesting a reply as a matter of urgency. Or ring agency with your email in front of you, say you have not heard; repeat each concern as per your email. Maybe ask for a manager to visit to discuss
6. Consider an alternative agency; start researching options
7. If you are funding the care you can just choose to change agencies. If external funding you need to discuss with that agency stating your reasons, the same as the reasons you have given the agency

Good luck; this must be very hard for you 💐

I didn’t mean they use the bathroom just for handwashing and they wear gloves anyway, but for use of the toilet facilities.

langelei

I didn’t mean they use the bathroom just for handwashing and they wear gloves anyway, but for use of the toilet facilities.

Where else are they to go?

My DH had carers for 6 weeks after coming out of hospital.
They were excellent. They stayed at least 30 minutes and cleared up after themselves.
They also asked to use the facilities.

These were employed by our council and are better paid and well vetted but not all carers are the same. I would look around and ask around which are the best agencies in your area.

I wouldn't mind if a carer had to use my toilet, but I would be asking the agency what exactly the carers duties were, and how much time they were supposed to be in my home.If they were only given say 15 minutes to tend to your husband, then you need to know, and perhaps their next appointment might not be for another hour, and so they can sit in their car till it's time to go, I used to be a home carer and that's how it worked then.

Forget using the loo. That just makes you sound ridiculous.
But you do need to demand more.
Are you paying for this care.
Whether or not contact the agency and emphasise that your husband is vulnerable with complex needs.
That you need experienced and capable conscientious careworkers.
Remember that this is a job that anyone can walk into off the street.
Many of them don't care about the work at all. Minimum wage. Stop gap. Or need a visa. Or job centre pressure...
Re the loo. Avoid that.
I knew of someone who texted overnight careworker about use of toilet roll. There were 3 workers in that time but the daughter complained the toilet roll was half finished next day...

Are you paying directly?
If so I'd probably look for a different agency.

We had two agencies and then hired privately for my mother-in-law.
One was good staff but timing unreliable.
One had much less experienced staff but timing was good (!)
The third was excellent (staff
chosen by us) - but it was super important - as they were living-in.

I'd say try another agency if they don't improve after speaking to the manager.

I too would expect all of them to be able to use our loo.