Being a new widow

Oh Gally what a lovely discovery. My daughter had never received a letter from her husband - then the day after she learned of his death his first arrived.
As you say, bitter-sweet, but how comforting to know that he prepared for this time and thought to write.

What a lovely,kind man to think of doing that.

Just want you to know that I too am thinking of you Gally. Just a day at a time.

I've been thinking of you the last few days,* Gally*, because, with my sister, I've been meandering round the byways of the East Neuk of Fife and wondering if I was close to you. I wish there was something wise or comforting I could say, but it has all been said and I join with all our friends here in sending you much love and ((((hugs)))).

Gally. I can only echo what has been said already. Little steps and in your own time, when you are ready. Love and hugs xx

Hello Gally, haven't been on here for a while but have thought of you and your family often since your sad loss. The fact that you are thinking about coping in the future and asking advice is amazing, and you should be very proud of yourself. Remember Mr G would also be so proud of you. I remember when my father died six weeks before I got married my Mother (understandably) didn't cope very well with life on her own, but when we announced that her first DGC was expected she started to cope better as she had something to look forward to and to think about. I hope that your news will help you, a little, through the times ahead. Will you stay out there for a while while both births happen or come home in between?
As someone else on here said, try to eat sensibly, even though you probably don't want to, as you must not get run down. I know that sounds quite petty and probably the last thing you are thinking about at the moment, but as an ex nurse I know how important it is. Also for the sake of your children you need to stay well.
Lecture over!! Please take care and remember, it may not be much, but we are all genuinely here for you. xxx

Sending my thoughst to you Gally I keep popping in and out of gransnet and try to catch up..take care.

Hope your day has been allright, gally, and that you sleep well tonight. Lovely to have the new grandchildren to look forward to!

Just popped on to say goodnight gally

With so many people thinking of you, you are not alone. Your girls, family, friends and all of us here sending good vibes. Goodnight and sleep well.

Been entertaining visitors for a few days, just popped back. Wishing you well, Gally, as everyone is. Lots of sensible advice already given so here are some

Good morning, Gally another day on the way! One step at a time. xx

Gally, do take things very gently. Although there are undoubtedly some things that do need to be dealt with fairly quickly, lots can wait until you feel ready. Although easy to say, try not to let anybody rush you into decisions. Also, although they may be well-meaning, try not to allow others to make decisions for you.

It is still so very early on for you and, as you have already found, things will catch you unawares. It is OK to embrace your feelings in whatever way feels best for you. Again, repeating other advice, do, do, do make sure that you look after yourself and eat and rest as much as you can. Grief is exhausting and it is OK to allow yourself to feel exhausted. It is also OK not to put up any kind of 'front'.

As has been said, one step at a time

Just to say "Hi" Gally. Just do as much or as little as you want. There is no rush. Much love x x

i have just become a widow and totally concure with all the messages
re time/good moments and sad moments. i for one cannot get rid of p's things yet and get pleasure from still seeing them there although i am not denying his death. after the celebration of his life ( he did not want a funeral ) family have gone but are still keeping in touch. i realise how lucky i am to have their support even if only by phone and email as some live at a distance. p was a huge presence in our lives and will continue to have a great influence in the family's future

swimmer13 Are you new to Gransnet as I am too. Your words match up to my feelings. I have found that my late husbands way of doing things in the house and garden makes more sense to me now. Sometimes I would argue that there was a better way of doing such and such. No there isnt. He read french and spanish but should have read maths and was a most practical man. However I have become friendly with people he didnt have a lot of time for. So in some ways his influence is great but I suppose that my developing single life is very much my own.

Welcome to you both, swimmer13 and flowerfriend. I was touched by both your posts.

I live in France too, flowerfriend

gally - Just been thinking of you today. x

Just a quick message to both Gally and swimmer13 - thinking of you and hope you are coping. xxx

It's a bonny morning here in Fife, Gally. I hope you can feel a little benefit of the sun on your face just now.

Oddly enough Green I too was just thinking how lovely it is in Dundee and wondering if Gally in Fife was also enjoying the sunshine! Hope so - thinking about you Gally.

Gally a late good morning.

Hi gally swimmer13 and flowerfriend hope you have the lovely sunshine that we have in the East Midlands and that it lifts your spirits.

Hello new widows. It's very early days for all of you and the first year is difficult because you have to endure birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas etc. for the first time without your partners. I'm glad you're all being supported by family and friends and will have them to help you as you learn to make adjustments.

Just to encourage you; my daughter who was widowed in May 2010 seems now to have settled into a 'new normal' pattern and is determinedly looking to the future. There are sad moments still, but life has moved on and she is beginning to move on too. That day will come for you too........ eventually.

Always wise words GA my thoughts are with everyone also.