my dad

Granbunny I am pleased things seem a little brighter for you and your family,and the pressure is easing a little bit,it does help to know you have the help and support on board now and you wont have to struggle on your own,best wishes to mum and dad and the rest of the family

Granbunny I'm also pleased to hear your dad's home and there will be help for them both. Say yes to anything the social services offers!
Look after yourself too. ((hugs))

granbunny, warm wishes. What a hard time for you all. I've never had to deal with the type of thing you're going through, but my heart goes out to you. You're stretching yourself as far as you can, so try and take care of yourself.

thanks again, everyone! we are hoping social services will be able to help. mum might need respite care while dad is in hospital, even if she doesn't need it permanently. or, maybe, she will need long-term care. we don't know.

dad is very emotional. a friend from his youth died this week. has heard from neighbours and his two younger brothers (one previously estranged) since coming out of hospital, which has made him happy. he says 'life is too short for arguments'.

i'm on a mobile phone quest this afternoon. i've found big buttons and extra amplification so i think i'm onto a winner .

So glad that things are easing up a wee bit for you just keep pushing for respite care and any other help they can come up with as you need some respite also,I honestly don't know how you are all managing under the pressure,keep on at social services every day and they will listen in the end I know as I had to do it for my dad it is not pleasent to do but you have to think of yourself and you own health.

social services said they'd come round but haven't. hospital sends letters and nothing more. gp sent a commode chair - useless as its the getting in and out of bed that's a problem for mum, and emptying the chamber pot would just be another unpleasant job for dad or one of us. i'm over-worked and still spending odd nights on mum's bedroom floor so dad can get some sleep. brother is doing the rest. but i've been at their house three nights this week when i didn't stay, for various errands. and tonight i'm going back, to stay over. ah well. dad feels well-supported, which is nice!

Granbunny Take care of yourself,((hugs)) [flowers]

( I'm nanachrissy) xx

Sorry the emoticons aren't working at the mo!

thank you!

grannybunny I can sense your utter frustration. Well meaning words from SS and the likes are all very well and nice. For crying out loud...it's action that you want...ASAP!

granbunny, you're doing a great job. You'll be exhausted and weary with all the worry. Be kind to yourself and take care. Keep hassling the Social Services. Is their any chance of your being able to take time off from work (compassionate leave) until things are sorted out for your mum and dad?

thank you, both.
i'm trying not to take any leave yet, though i did have permission to leave ten minutes early one night last week. dad will go into hospital probably around the end of june, and if there is no other way to care for mum i will have to take time off.

I was pleased to read your latest post but not amused by the help you are not receiving from SS,they should have sent someone out to access your parents by now I have a feeling that they realize that you and your brother will pick up and deal with the problems yourselves,sometimes I think that unless you really shout loud and long nothing gets done,are you off at all during the next week or so (do I remember you being a teacher)if you are then spend every day on the phone to SS and start at the top if you can find out who is head of SS.Very best of luck and (((hugs))) for you,you need one.

social services finally got to parents' house yesterday. mum can go into respite, any time, drop of a hat, they'll keep her details on file. gp says primary care will cover the cost as she's been sectioned in the past but she'd have to be assessed by a consultant (though he thinks the outcome of that meeting will be predictable - she's barking!).

brother is caring while dad goes back into hospital, end of next week, i think.

currently, i'm not speaking to either parent (dad said he'd rather commit suicide than spend any of his money on care! i said 'how much of this money can you take with you when you go, dad?') so i'm having a welcome break. go me. ;)

I must have conjured you up granbunny! I was wondering how things were going for you and your family. What a long time it has taken to reach this point. I don't blame you for stepping back now.

granbunny time for you to rest, now!

gn It was only yesterday that I thought I hadn't noticed you on this thread for a while and found myself wondering how things were going for you.......same vibes as shysal.
So I am delighted to read things are easing up for you and hope you will find some time for yourself now.

So pleased to hear you have support at last granbunnyI too had been looking for your posts...have a rest now you deserve it,hoping dads treatment goes wellxxxx

granbunny I too was thinking about you yesterday,so glad to hear that things are moving for you.
Look after yourself now and let others take the strain for a while. It is incredibly stressful dealing with all this and you need a break.

thank you so much, everyone! i thought i was a bit cheeky coming back after such a long break - thank you for your kind comments.

i've been with daughter and grandaughter tonight, and tomorrow, as i'm not sitting with mum for the first time in years - i'm going to work! i can't believe the luxury...


i've told brother i'll do a four hour shift each evening while dad is in hospital, to let him have a break. but other than that...i'm keeping well away!

granbunny such a well deserved break for you I am so glad you can relax at last,don't be a stranger and join in with the conversations it will be good for you to keep in contact with your friends here on GN Take care of yourself.

granbunny You've a huge amount of support from "us lot" on GN. You have done incredibly well. You now deserve time in which to be yourself. Many good wishes from Kintyre.

granbunny just saying hello hope things will improve for you sooner than later..

Hope your situation has improved over the months.
No one mentioned Crossroads Care, your Dad would need to contact them through Social Services (Early InterventionTeam ?),i think you can have up to 12 visits free and then need to apply for funding. Idea is that you get someone who supports the carer by visiting the one needing care, so your Dad could get some free time.
The Alzheimers Society is also very supportive to those with all sorts of issues.
Best of luck.