How to 'support' jobless child?

Very wise words indeed Greatnan. We get sent lots of graduate CV's and I never cease to be amazed at the fact that they even dare to include a section entitled expected salary range and boy do they "expect" !

My own daughter worked in McDonalds for many years (despite her degree) and took every training course available. Their management training program is excellent and she now puts it to good use elsewhere.

Supporting someone jobless is different from searching for career path entry. If your daughter only wants to restrict herself to seeking out career opportunities then maybe your "tough love" approach might make her lower her expectations. Other posters have already said that to get her out of the house she could volunteer or get a minimum wage position. I assume that throughout her studies she already did that to get CV experience.
What do you do? Do you work? Can you find any vacancies where you go?
What is her own motivation for working? Does she want a job with a large enough salary to pay off her student debt? Would she consider setting up her own business?
Does she have other talents - sports, dance, acting, writing, art etc. Could she find a way to use them to chat to potential employers who are aware of her passion for her hobby?

Frida, a tough situation for you!
I have a younger daughter slaving away at a job she does not really like but its all that was available when she graduated. I admire her tenacity, its a job that would wear anyone down yet she keeps going and has impressed her bosses very much. Your daughter has to find her own motivation. She has to want to do anything to get her on her way. The Christmas job is a great start - can open doors if she sees it as a chance to shine rather than just a fill-in. Voluntary work is a good way in too. Its all about attitude. If she appears willing to try anything, and is cheerful about it, things can happen.
Gone are the days of stepping into a job that leads to a life-time career. Its much more about looking around for chances to gain experience and showing yourself off to best advantage. Dwelling on whether she had good or bad career advise is a waste of energy. Whats done is done.
If she cant contribute any money at the moment perhaps she could be a bit useful around the home, then she can 'earn' that girly lunch with you. Good luck to you both.

I think the mistake has been that in recent years, while following the chimera of 50% of school leavers going onto university students have been told that a degree WILL get you a good or better job, but it never has and never will. I graduated in 1964 when less than 5% of students went to University and I had friends who worked in shops and cafes for a year at least before getting a job that would provide a career. A degree certainly improves your chances of getting a job but at a time when there is high unemployment there are not enough jobs to go round so there are inevitably going to be many people at all levels of qualification and experience without jobs.

If hospital consultants, teachers, airline pilots and many others with degrees and many years experience and achievement are unemployed and unable to get work it is inevitably going to be harder for those with degrees and no experience and as they take the burger-flipping, drinks-serving jobs, life gets even harder for those without qualifications. the proportion of those without any qualifications without jobs of any kind is far higher than the proportion of graduates.

My degree, back in 1964, was in economics and I can remember that the first essay I wrote in my first term was in answer to the question ' If in a time of high unemployment one person by constant searching can find a job, why cannot everybody who is unemployed?' It answers itself.

Although 23 years since my two left school, they were raised with the old 'Protestant work ethic' instilled; DD has never been unemployed. A dozen different jobs, from cleaning toilets to Operating Theatre Asst. - or whatever that's called these days! Now works part-time at Asda & before our semi-estrangement, also 15 hours a week as my Carer. Of course as you know, she resigned from the latter last week; no idea if she has found another to replace it.

In many ways I feel so sorry for a lot of youngsters nowadays. Many have been brought up bombarded with societies images of all those wonderful consumer goods you must have. Peer pressure to have whatever is in fashion is dreadfull if it takes hold. Some folks equate 'happiness' with possessions and find it very difficult to remain cheerfull when disposable income shrinks to nothing. Some wise soul recently reminded me that 'happiness' can never be achieved by possessions. Its how you live your life, what you say and do to others that will be a much better way to fulfillment.
Whilst young people are blatantly clobbered by advertising that insists they must have the latest phone, fashions and lifestyles to be successful and happy then I am afraid there will be more and more unhappy and unfulfilled young people.
To be honest I was a bit like that in my 20s and 30s and its only as I've got a lot older and just a tiny bit wiser that I've realised its just not the case. Living well (i.e. treading gently on the world's resources), playing a part in whatever community you choose to be in and just being a decent human being is far more effective.

Hilda, no doubt you are right about some young people, but many lack the income for basic things, such as a home and food. I hope nobody believes the lies that JSA allows people to buy plasma TVs and have holidays in Spain.

Er, was not talking about the folks on Jobs seekers.
My comment was much more general, more about what drives a lot of modern society - the consumerism etc. It leaves some people with a slightly distorted view about whats important in life. And its this that I think leads to much unhappiness. The feeling that if you can't have what is considered trendy then you have failed.
Jobs seekers is just to fund your search for work...barely covers transport and stamps.

I've just read that 50% of social work posts are unfilled in many places. Retraining might be an option. You don't know if you have a vocation until you are actually in work. One daughter I paid for a course of typing-she said recently that it was the most useful thing more so than her degree.

I think one of the big problems is that universities are now in a market economy competing for students so they are offering courses which students want to do rather than ones that will get them jobs. For example there are enough Media Studies graduates each year to fill any media jobs in the economy about 20 times over but we have a desperate shortage of engineers, physicists, IT experts and other scientists. Because so many of these new degrees are considered vocational graduates will only look for and consider jobs in the field they are qualified in regardless of whether there actually are any jobs in that field.

The young graduate who took the Employment Agency to court because her benefit was made dependent on her stacking shelves in Poundland was a geology graduate who wished to become a geological museum curator and was working in a museum on a voluntary basis. But the Museum sector is being hit by swingeing cuts, museum jobs are being lost throughout the country. Currently there are probably more experienced museum curators unemployed than employed. Her chances of getting the job she would ideally want were negligible. Yet she didnt seem to be considering anything else or even considering a job in Poundland on an interim basis.

I'm not sure why vocational training seems to have ground to a halt although I understand apprenticeships are coming back. I'm sure uni isn't for everyone despite the government's message. Although I'll admit when my son quit uni after a yr we insisted he did a part time degree while he worked. UIn his last year he didn't work and after he got his maths degree he sat infront of his laptop (with the tv on as well!) and seemed to know websites that employers go to to advertise jobs. I don't know about yours but mine doesn't like to be asked questions about how he's doing so clams up at the slightest interest shown by me. TG he now has a job and starts on monday. Yippee - he'll be out of the house ALL DAY instead of sitting on the sofa surfing and watching the box. It's hard to take a menial job as it can be demoralising thinking you'll be stuck there forever so we supported our son - even gave him a small allowance - and it made him feel independant and able to look for what he wants to do. We all have to work for more than 40 yrs so it's important to be happy. Good luck to all the young (and not so young) job hunting

I work as an internet shopper for a top supermarket and I am amazed at how many university graduates we have working on the shop floor. However, I'm also proud of these young people as they have all said they would rather be stacking shelves then sitting at home on benefits. Also it looks good on their CV. It shows a work ethic even if it isn't the job of their choice. One by one over the 8 years I've been at this job these young people have moved on. Through hard work and determination they have the job they want. You don't say if your daughter is applying in your area or elsewhere. One very bright man at my job has a journalism degree but cannot get such a job ifiance is holding him back as she doesn't want to leave this area.

SIL dropped out of uni where he was studying architecture and moved to live with D1. He took a job in a call centre and eventually worked as a labourer. Ex husband got him an interview for a mature age apprenticeship. SIL was not enthusiastic and thought he might be better working for himself doing maintenance. D1 insisted she was not willing for them to take out a loan so he could set himself up. She told him to think of the apprenticeship as studying and that he would be qualified by the time their youngest daughter started school. The wages were extremely low for awhile until the company started paying him a bit more when they were very happy with his work. D1 went back to work three days a week after her maternity leave finished just as SIL started his apprenticeship. SIL worked many weekends for someone else to earn extra money. GD4 starts school early next year and SIL has finished his apprenticeship, he really enjoys his job and also now is paid a car allowance.