I Dread Christmas, 2012

I accept I won't be with my sons, their partners nor my grandchildren this winter festival. We all know it won't be possible, but we all know we'd love it to be so.
That will be enough and I will gather my husband and myself with some candles, a simple meal and a few pickings from the garden. They will all be healthy and happy, and so will we.........sort of.

Oh Butty...you are so right. Thanks for cheering me no end.

I know I am lucky at the moment but I'm not smug because the day may come when both DSs' families will be doing something else for Christmas. I have dreaded being alone for Christmas since I was alone in hospital with pneumonia 66 years ago and although I had a visit from Santa and loads of toys and books, nothing could make up for the absence of parents and sisters. That 6-year-old in a hospital bed has been known to come back and visit me in times of great stress.

anno (hugs) and

Thank you soop. .

anno A little (hug) for your 6yr old.

soop

Indeed.
Butty, we treat ourselves to all sorts of lovely things for two like petits fours, snails, half bottles of champagne and really good wine. We also eat the goose and the Christmas pudding, though.....

Big hugs anno I know another nearly 6-year old who lost both her parents in a car crash just before Christmas. Happily this one was rescued by a very special aunt who took her and her dog in on Christmas Eve.

jodi

I'm sorry jess that you're already feeling lonely and dreading Christmas. Maybe you idealise it? I have some awful memories of Christmases with teenagers who would have rather been out with their friends or who would have preferred something else for a present.
Now we visit the Gcs but in Germany the magical time is Advent. I love that and it is not so family orientated but we often sit by candle light and eat ginger bread.
I get a sinking feeling about Christmas. In my childhood the house was cold, father drunk and by the time he came home he ( and later my brother) came home so late from the pub that the dinner was spoiled!
I am always relieved when it is over.

Postage a complete pain absent - I posted 2 comics and it cost £9.00
Mostly for xmas etc i shop online and they wrap and send. Boring though.
It's OK margaret i am not particularly down, just beginning to collide with jolly postings re xmas on GN and felt we needed a 2012 grumbling thread - somewhere we could go and be sure that we would not hear about someone cooking 5 dozen mince pies etc etc. Happy for those who are happy, but not everyone is, by a long chalk.
I have never idealised it. At age 18 i have felt it was a materialistic event that is hard to enjoy when so many people in the world have so little. When there are little kids around then it is a special time for them but I don't get all this excess that adults indulge in.
I will again be spending with my DH's family again, who spend a lot on buying presents. I will do minimal things before hand and on the day, grin and go with the flow as usual, and it will be fine. The best bit last year was when I organised me and 3 men to get all the veg processed, while others went to mass etc.
2 things I like about xmas 1. carols, but dammit, I am an atheist. and 2. turkey but, double dammit the inlaws only like the white meat, and insist on only having M and S breast meat joints.
Anyway.... I hope this is the official GN not looking forward to it thread. Maybe if the real enthusiasts also had a clearly designated thread that us non festive types could avoid that would be kind?

As I'm a Gemini, I might have to go on both threads depending on my mood

Oh, sorry Jess, got it wrong. I thought it was about making the best of it without the children and grandchildren. I will go to the quite enthusiastic about Christmas thread..... Hope you have a good time anyway. x

Me too, Ella - but most probably I'll tend to stick to this one....

(((((biggest hugs))))) jodi

Thank you Sel and Nanadog for kind thoughts – and flowers as well. Absentdaughter and I have spent only one Christmas (2005) together since she went off to New Zealand when she was 17. It was lots of fun. (She was 30 last Wednesday.) She is desperate for Mum to do all the things I traditionally did from roast goose to my own Christmas pudding recipe and decorating the tree when everyone else is asleep on Christmas Eve. I am equally enthusiastic about doing them. We shall have to organise our own smoker as you cannot buy gammon in New Zealand – although very good ham on the bone is available – and most smoked salmon is hot smoked – very nice but doesn't work with scrambled eggs on Christmas morning. I am looking forward to Christmas 2013 and, meanwhile, perfecting my technique with Champagne cocktails.

Christmas will be different for me this year.
My 2 daughters will be round on Christmas day with my grandchildren.
I am now living in the house which Dad lived in for 60 years and he passed away earlier this year so he will be greatly missed by all.
As my house is the only one in the family which has a through lounge / dining room it is the best one from a practical point of view on Christmas day.
Boxing day was held at the other grandparents house by my daughters and grandchildren. Dad and myself mainly stayed at home on boxing day and had a late breakfast ( scrambled eggs on toast), then we went for a ride in the car to Stratford and had a walk and then went for steak and chips in a pub at about 4pm before returning home.
This year I think I will just go with the family to the other grandparents house on boxing day and probably go for a local walk in the day.
I will give my grandchildren equivalent presents to what both Dad and I gave so they will not lose out from a financial point of view but I can not replace the love they had for Dad on Christmas and all other days.

Frank

My 'bah humbug' sign stays in the hall throughout the year. Of the people I know many of us greet ourselves with 'Merry Christmas, bah humbug' at this time of year. I shall read A Christmas Carol [treated myself to a new copy last year] and I also bought 'Christmas at Cold Comfort Farm' which I never got round to reading so I'll dig that out. I love carols as well, and always mean to go to Midnight Mass...I think they deliberately wrote carols for people like me that can't sing, because they seem to be within my range [a cunning plan to get me onto the straight and narrow]. The Maddy Prior and the Carnival Band Christmas cd comes out as well, along with the Mediaevil Babes and Sufjan Stevens..the second Christmas is over I can't bear to hear them. Every year I plan to write little letters to put in the cards I send, whilst listening to Christmas music, and each year I frantically write the cards to catch the last post..ones in the village often being delivered on Christmas eve [or even later]. I seem to send less and less each year . Always terribly aware that, for anyone that's sad, Christmas magnifies that sadness tenfold. And, to end on a happy note if Christmas can be a bit grim it's followed by January [the worst month in the year by far]. If I could hibernate through January I would!

kirsty mccoll!!!!!

I hate the shops,and the piped music wishing everyone a happy Christmas,I hate crowds all pushing and shoving,and Christmas cards coming that I have nowhere to put them,and no inclination,and so on and so on I have to make an effort for little legs....but given a choice wouldn't bother like the sound of the continental understated time though..would love to go to sleep Dec 1st wake up January 31st....by now guess you know I hate Christmas...much much rather be thinking of people and give a gift any other time of year because I want to ..not because it is expected...bah humbug big time[grumpy face emoticon]

Nellie! You can't sleep through your birthday!

Ways to get a Christmas no1; win X Factor, or cease to exist .

I love carols too! I listen to the King's College service every year.
I will be thinking of my family in England, wondering what they are doing. I know my family in New Zealand will be having a lovely, happy time. I think I will be visiting them next Christmas.
My sister and I used to be so excited at Christmas - of course we did not get any presents for the rest of the year. We each got a jigsaw, an annual and a colouring set. The stocking had a tangerine and a Mars bar. We didn't have a tree and made our own paper chains. My dear mother did not have a lot of imagination, but once my sister was about 12 she started making her own paper decorations too.
I won a Christmas Verse contest on Granada TV when I was teaching - I got an Ali Baba basket crammed with Christmas goodies. My pupils were wild with excitement because 'Miss' had been on TV.

Is one of the reasons that several of us dread Christmas, the hype given it by the advertisers etc. They set up this OTT "best christmas ever" mentality.
The television advertising is increasingly materialistic. They give us the idea we will be failing everyone if we dont cook too much food, or have wonderful parties with our many beautiful and successful friends.

We must buy wonderful gifts on which we spend £££s and spend hours making our own wrapping paper.We must then dress up the packaging prettily with our hand made gift cards; all of which will be torn off in a few seconds.

Perhaps we need a camapaign to stop commercialising christmas. ( Fat chance I know.)

My best bit of Christmas will come after the visits, no DS. I am sure. Probably DD Sil and now little DGS. When the meals have been planned and produced and the stress of trying to get it right and please everyone is over, I will get out the jigsaw puzzles sit in the warm and relax.

I agree, that's always the best part of Christmas for me, Nelliemoser - when it's all over....