My husband spoils me

You're all so kind. I just had to share what had happened because it was lovely.

oh vampirequeen that is lovely, I too have fantastic husband who maybe I take for granted a little.

Agoraphobia sounds tough, well done for trying to fight it.

sorry to be ignorant but is that fear of going out I presume?
i have a weird irrational fear of needing to go to the loo and wherever we go have to know I can must admit I do need spend lots pennies.
Have had it for years long before our daughter cut us off.
I guess we all have our peculiar hang ups. It does make me tense at times but I refuse to let it rule my life.

What a lovely story VP - sounds like a Dennis Potter play! I can imagine you and hubby waltzing around the church hall!

I'm the opposite, very claustrophobic.

It means I can't go out alone. I can go into the back garden but its as if there is an invisible force field across the front door. I can go out if someone I trust is with me as long as I tap on the door four times before I go out. I know I'm a looney lol.

Also I have to have someone with me outside to keep me safe because I can become overwhelmed by the light, noise etc which stops me from being safe as I can step out into the road without realising it. I'm also prone to panic attacks when I'm out if I become overwhelmed which can be really embarrassing.

It's just over a year since I went out alone.

I do fight it though. I try to go out as much as possible and force myself into stressful situations like going into town when it's busy. But it's very hard at times. Oddly the one time I can almost forget is when I'm dancing. I can go onto a dancefloor in front of people I don't know and just dance. I think it's because I feel safe with my OH and am distracted by the music and trying to remember the steps. I can't dance with anyone else.

vampire you are not a looney!!!! You are very brave to be pushing yourself to go into Town and into stressful situations.

Hello vampirequeen, I'm fairly new to this site so didn't know of your problem, but what a lovely story to be able to tell us all, it's good to know there are still some gooduns around, we only seem to hear of the others, so it was great to read your message, I'm lucky and got a good OH too. Perhaps if you can manage to do similar things regularly it may help with you feeling better about going out, that would be really special to hear.

HelloJAB welcome to GN

Hello JAB and welcome.

I'm waiting for my MH team to organise something but they've been arranging it for weeks and nothing has happened so it's down to me and OH to do something. I have to keep fighting although I have to admit at times it's very hard and I want to give up but then my OH will gently gee me along.

I work in substance misuse (not a practitioner, I work in policy) but I have worked with psychiatrists in the past, and the one lovely doc I worked for had an agoraphobic patient whose greatest fear was related to bridges so he would arrange to meet this patient at one end of a bridge and then gradually deeper in until they were in the middle. We used to joke about wondering when it would be a 'bridge too far' - but it all had a good outcome over time, big improvement for the patient. Also the thing about needing a wee seems to crop up all the time, another one of my colleagues had a patient who was unable to go out because she feared she would need to wee and wet herself. Well part of her treatment was walking behind her MH worker through a busy shopping centre when the MH worker had doused her own crotch with a glass of water (I kid you not!) and the patient had to focus on counting how many people they passed, and how many people noticed. They passed 82 people and 2 noticed briefly (or something like that). All very interesting.

Thanks for the welcome, this seems like a very nice site, so I will keep looking in.

VQ I started to tell Mr S about your post yesterday and I couldn't finish as I was so choked. The picture you painted of the pair of you dancing in that hall...oh my. How wonderful, how poignant. I now see you in a Jack Vettriano painting. Lovely to be so cherished, there must be a reason

VQ what a wonderfully romantic gesture; you must have felt cherished.
Welcome JAB - you'll soon find your way around.

We love Jack Vettirano. My husband bought me a print of Back Where You Belong which is a couple meeting at a train station after a separation. He put my engagement ring on my finger at Oakworth Station (part of a steam line).

http://www.easyart.com/art-prints/Jack-Vettriano/Back-Where-You-Belong-66122.html?utm_campaign=350&utm_term=66122&utm_source=googlebaseuk&gclid=CPHyvNnH_LMCFefMtAodQGoA3g

VQ What a lovely romantic man you have in your life, how lucky we are to have men who care so much for us and are not affraid for other people to know it.

vq your lovely husband is giving back and reflecting the care and love and recognition of your support for him as you have written before,you give to him,you are both blessed with each other,and are each deserving of the lovely things you do for each other..
I also have problems with,being out and about,bright sunshine blinds me and makes me anxious,noise is deafening crowds are disorienting,shopping malls supermarkets,panic attacks,fear of people behind me,in front of me around me,I also have a social phobia ,one to one and I am fine,large amounts of people..get me out of here...we have our coping strategies don't we,writing this in bed today,this feels a safe place to be for now.xxxlove nellie

Oh make the most of it Vampirequeen, my lovely hubby used to spoil me as well, then suddenly on the 8th December 2011, he went to help a friend, had a massive heart attack & never came back, they let him die on the 20th December, he was 69, I didn't even know he was ill, he always refused to go to a doctor, he was a very active man still working by helping our eldest daughter in her business, he had always said he didn't want to live to get old, he got his wish, but what he really meant I am sure is that he didn't want to get old & have old man's ailments & be unable to do all the things he used to

Spindrift xx

A sad but good reason for some of us to make an effort to be more appreciative Spindrift thanks

Oh spindrift a sad Christmas for you

It is difficult Spindrift when you have had a lovely husband and lose them. You must be feeling very sad over the first anniversary.

Thanks all, yes, but will make the most of Christmas as a tribute to him because he loved Christmas just like I did

spindrift I think you are so brave.
I love Christina Rossetti's poem 'Remember' which ends
'Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.'
It is hard to forget the pain of loss especially when anniversaries come round, but I hope you can smile a little too today.

spindrift (((hugs))), especially today.

That was a nice story to read but was concerned for you having aggrophobia.It usually stems from something that has happened to someone. It can defiantly be cured if you can manage to see the right person/professional because some are really good and can help but some are totally useless. But if you get a good one thy can defiantly help Best wishes

again thanks so much for your wishes, I have kept busy all day, I have very happy memories of him, he would never argue lol it so annoyed me I would be arguing away & he would ignore me completely, then say, happy now you have had your say, of course we laughed then, he was a good man couldn't have wished for better.