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Care for decrepit elderly.

(37 Posts)
NfkDumpling Wed 23-Jan-13 17:44:44

Help! I need to pick all your multiple brains!

My mother is in hospital as her ultra arthritic, weirdly angled knee is refusing to let her put weight on it and she's in considerable pain. There's no way I can go and live with her full time - which is what she would like - but the hospital occupational therapist seems to want to do a home assessment and send her home with a care package. We're just starting the process of selling her home as she has the offer of a housing with care flat available in about 8 weeks time.

It's the bit in between that's the problem. I have no idea of what care is available. There's talk of respite beds, rehab beds, but where are they? How do I access them? How long can she stay? She does have a little funds. I'm hoping the doctor may persuade the surgeon to persuade her to have a new knee. But not holding out much hope.

NfkDumpling Fri 25-Jan-13 11:35:26

In my mind the more people who say she can't live alone the stronger I feel. I don't think she wants to go back to the bungalow either now - and she can be quite wilful!

NfkDumpling Fri 25-Jan-13 20:11:43

Not a happy mother today! She's feeling homesick, missing her dog and is still in pain. Result is a very belligerent old lady. Not an easy patient. At this rate I couldn't blame the hospital if they sent her home!

Movedalot Fri 25-Jan-13 20:35:21

Oh dear. I can't offer any advice but can send sympathy and wine

grrrranny Fri 25-Jan-13 21:48:44

At least beligerent means she hasn't given up - not very helpful though when you are on receiving end of the beligerence. Can nothing more be done about her pain? Perhaps jeni could help with suggestions and Mishap certainly seems to know her onions. So hard about her missing the dog as well. Sorry I have nothing sensible to add except empathy.

NfkDumpling Fri 25-Jan-13 22:02:29

Thanks. They started giving small doses of morphine yesterday which made her happy, but today the happiness factor has worn off and it's now muddling her brain slightly. Apparently the first aim is to get her pain under control, and take it from there. Then they may possibly think about a new knee - or not.

POGS Fri 25-Jan-13 23:16:53

Nfk

My father was diagnosed with osteoporosis 2 and a half years ago, same as myself, mother and many family members including males.

He was taken to hospital and from that moment we have never looked back. The hospital made a referral to the Social Services and a home assessment was made before he was allowed home. The service was brilliant and his home was made safe for his return. He has a care package that means he is assisted with washing, dressing and his bed changed as and when required. His meals are prepared for him and his independance has been kept intact. He has his shopping done and I do his tablets, washing and ironing, cleaning etc, well I say me it's my poor old hubby actually does most of it.If I had not been in a position to do so I think his pension, with guaranteed pension and attendance allowance would cover for the extra help.

What I am saying is find out all you can from Social Services, it is surprising what your dear mother may be entitled to. They look into finances, yes, but not to snoop but to see if she is entitled too more financial help. We claim no carers allowance as we wanted the maximum amount of money available to go to his care in full and it is well covered.

I wish you well and your dear mother.

jeni Fri 25-Jan-13 23:32:01

Just a thought. When my FinLaw was in hospital and missing his bijon frisée s all three of them. We arranged to bring them to the hospital and wrapped him up warm and wheeled him out in a chair to see them.
Wards are not prisons, you can take people out of them!

Having said that! One ward sister in my early days could easily have doubled as the warden of a Victorian prison! The lie in your tidy beds at attention until after god's (the consultant) ward round!

NfkDumpling Sat 26-Jan-13 19:54:58

She was much more lucid today. Done some crochet work which is a good sign too. She's decided for herself that she doesn't want to go back to her bungalow as she'd only have to leave again when the new flat is bought. Ditto the dog. Although she would like to see her again she doesn't want her back as she feels the dog is better off in a new home. I do hope we can find a home for her locally. I went to see the friend who is looking after her today, and two dogs came bounding out to greet me. Jet is a different dog. So much happier, she deserves a bit of fun.

POGS Sat 26-Jan-13 21:03:33

Nfk

You can only do your best. smile

grrrranny Sat 26-Jan-13 21:06:54

Good to hear how much better your mum is - you can rest a little easier tonight.

NfkDumpling Sat 26-Jan-13 21:51:17

moon