Another member leaving.

Go to bed. night night. x

You are right again Jeni Too much squabbling and last wording.

We all should as Merlot says look at the way a thread is going and when its getting difficult, back off the threads. Its fairly obvious which ones they will be when they start getting tetchy.

One thing about what I have just said, is that after all these disagreements I now almost fear that what I intend to be a general remark will be taken personally by someone who thinks I am aiming at them personally.

We have got to lose this atmosphere of paranoia and mistrust that is going about, or GN will not feel a safe place to be.

Please.

Nellie

Couldn't agree more.

The ill-feeling seems to involve, at most, six or seven posters. It appears some of discussions are taking place through PMs. This makes posters who just want to share their thoughts and ideas and/or debate a variety of issues feel as though they are spending a weekend in the bosom of a dysfunctional family with private conversations in a hissing whisper going on all the time.

lilygram - thank you - your summed up what I was trying to understand - have always found the discussions on here mostly friendly and amusing - which is what I joined for and I post rarely.
If I do not make my profile public - I assume I cannot receive any PMs is that how it works?

sorry - just noticed I can receive PMs - but have none so assume I am safe.

Hi mollie
Do you see the lilac strip above your post? and where it says 'private message'? If you click that, you can send messages and check your in box.

What a lot of sense has been spoken during this thread. We're acknowledging that some people like to squabble and quarrel, (an argument or discussion is not the same), so let them get on with it.
As glass commented, there's more to life than Gransnet! However, so many really get so much from it, and might rely on it for a bit of company and comfort - which I do myself sometimes.
jeni remarked that it's changed her life - actually, I think it's changed mine as well, because I've gained so much from Gransnet, in all manner of ways.
So, let those who want to squabble just get on with it - a good old debate/discussion is healthy, but being unkind to each other isn't good.

This is not good at all. Notso gave me an enormous amount of help with something that I had to do for an interview, I'm really sorry to see that she has decided to leave.

I realise that it would be unrealistic for everyone to agree and get along all the time, but it is so sad when people feel they have to leave, rather than perhaps just have a break for a while.

I echo Nelliemoser , merlotgran, Jeni and many of you, I have just been reading all three pages of this thread and agree that I bury my head and do not enter the Frey when I see where some of the comments are going.
However I do enjoy checking in to GN, looking at the latest postings, and either add my bit or just walk away.
Surely we , as "older" people can cope with all this ? We must have all had many more dire things in our lives to deal with than a Forum.....
Cheers, friends!

Marelli - I couldn't agree more. A wise, steadying-hand of a post. Thanks.

marelli thats exactly how I feel.

Marelli thank you - your post has hit the spot. I really do not want to leave, though have been disconcerted recently. However, the friendship and support more than counterbalances that, and I would miss it dreadfully. I have a full and busy life, of which GN is an integral part.

steadying-hand of a post! Oh come on! That's pathetic.

Isn't that the sort of comment we are trying to avoid, or am I missing something?

I am sad to learn that we are losing another friend.

I totally agree with everything you say Marelli

I just don't understand all the neediness that comes across on here.It sounds false tbh.

So sorry to loose notso lets please get back to normality.

J07 What one earth are you talking about? neediness? That's not what I read into the posts about Notso. Regret at losing someone whom we had come to regard as a friend and support, yes; neediness, no.

No! Not the posts about Notso leaving.

Oh! Leave it!

QED

j07 have you considered that some of us turn to GN because we are 'in need' of support or at least somewhere where we can talk about our worries and concerns anonymously? I really believe some posters have come onto GN because they genuinely do not have anyone else they feel they can to turn to.

It is healthy that certain threads can cause interesting discussion and possibly heated arguments and anyone like me who doesn't want to read the batting to and fro of (what we see as) insensitive comments we can avoid those threads.

Do you not feel that your post calling a previous post 'pathetic' and then your last comment about 'neediness' were really appropriate on a thread specifically discussing the fact that some Gnetters are leaving due to what they feel are nasty comments?

I really don't believe you, or anyone else who posts insensitive comments, are being intentionally nasty but perhaps a little more thought is needed before hitting the 'post message' button?

I am really sorry we are losing notso and hope she will reconsider.

I think it is pretty bad when Jeni writes such a long post, she is usually more of a one liner. We should heed her.

I think it is sad when anyone leaves, whether they have been in from the beginning or only for a couple of weeks.

I wish I could subscribe to the go off and leave a thread suggestion. I do quite often, sometimes because I'm bored by it. However, when someone has totally twisted what I have said to make it sound as if I am a different person, I just cannot let it lie. I do need to come back and set the record straight.

Just occassionally I have seen posters apologise and think we should encourage more of that. If a post has been written in haste (many of us are very busy) and ilater regrets, then an apology is in order and should be accepted. If a poster has written with good intent but later sees that her post could be read differently then an explanation would make all things right.

Some time ago I was vilified for suggesting we could all try to be nicer but I see that someone else has now suggested it. Please substitute whatever word you like but can we please try?

I thought it was another member not notso when this thread started as I haven't seen any posts by her for a while and she used to be prolific. Then I can think of yet another too, who doesn't seem to be around any more.

I am on holiday but. Managed to get
Gransnet , and am really upset and sad that notso has left I have met her and she is a really loVely person, so if you are lurking, I shall miss you terribly.*notso*. X x