Our Mums on Gransnet?

It is an interesting thread. Not only is it fascinating to read of others' relationships but I think we can gain insight into gransnetters' personalities from the way different individuals feel they are perceived by others.

It was good to reflect on the views my mum and MIL might have had as both have been dead for several years. I think I have more empathy with their feelings as I have grown older than I might have done when they were alive.

My mother:

Oh dear what have I ever done to deserve this? She is only 18 and having a baby , the shame of it . What on earth will I tell them at work? Oh god her dad will go bloody mad. I didn't even know she knew about THAT stuff. I deliberately stopped her from seeing that dirty sex education film at school as well, I just can't understand it. She will have to marry him and bloody well quick as well.

More recently:

Where the hell is she? she was supposed to be here at 2 and its almost quarter past. I bet she was in that ambulance that passed half an hour ago. I will ring her workplace just to double check. Oh I hope she managed to get me that small brown loaf and the two bananas before she was involved in that motorway pile up

granny23 brilliant thread.

This is what both my Mum and MIL would have said 40+ years ago.

My Mother
AIBU to push DD1 into finding someone settling down and getting married, why would she want to go into further education when she can get married and be a SAHM.

My MIL
AIBU to expect my DS1 to have found someone who actually knows how to keep a house and cook.

Bagd Yes, some of my script was actually word for word too.

My mother: I will build you some wardrobe doors for your three children's bedrooms. I am making you a coffee table. I started classes for making stained glass last week. Now I am making myself some folding doors for my lounge and have inserted four matching panels of irises made in stained glass, what do you think of them? I am bringing your washing in, it will get damp out there if you leave it much longer. I will come over and help you dig up those weeds, it should only take a few days. I will come and help you paint your house. Can you come over and help me dig a ditch, I want to put in some underground sprinklers in my garden. I will make a coat for K.. We can go and get the material now, I will make other GDs one each too.

My mother in law: Hark at her Jack. She is fussy. Are you awake yet, (screeching loudly every time she knocked on my door when visiting). GC have grown so much since we last saw them, (only MIL could see children's growth every two weeks. You don't appreciate my son and he is such a hard worker.

Mother: AIBU to think that my DD and her children should visit me lots - I know I spend the whole time belittling her Dad and dragging the GC into this, but she should be used to it after being brought up by us, so why does she stay away?

MIL: AIBU to think that my DIL should bring the children to visit, but that my OH and I should be allowed to sleep for large parts of the day without them making a noise? When we ask for the GC to be quiet my DIL insists on taking them into the garden - but that's no good - I don't want the neighbours disturbed. Why can't her children be seen and not heard like our were?

My Mother:

Her, don't think about her much. She had 3 boys but of course they won't carry the family name. My favourite had 3 girls so they don't either. DS didn't marry any of them so he is no help but I do see him often, when he needs money for something. Oh you want me to talk about her, well what can I say? She married a nice enough man, can't remember his name, and they seem to be alright.

My FiL (because MiL died a few months after we married)

"She is doing a good job of bringing up those boys". I don't understand their lives and it worries me that they bought the house jointly as she isn't working to pay off her share. She is a very good cook and feeds me well and I am always welcome at their house. If I don't go to them they come to me and they took me on holiday with them. She is a good manager and looks after the house. She speaks nicely too!

My mother used to write to the papers a lot and would probably felt right at home on Gransnet. She would probably have taken up permanent residence in Pedant's Corner! I like to think I'm more liberal minded than her - but I could be wrong.

My mother

Why has my DD1 gone and got married to that awful man who comes from an equal awful family? but then she never did anything I approved of anyway.Her two children are spoilt rotten, something I never did with my five.The house she lives in is in a horrible part of the city, there are so much nicer places she could have chosen to live, but then it is near his family so what do you expect.She tells me it is near where she works but that is no excuse.I would much prefer she lived where she was brought up.She says I am being selfish as I want her near so I can dominate her life.Then she has the cheek to complain that I dont visit her often and her children hardly know me.I like having her coming to visit but really after one hour I have had enough, especially when she brings her awful husband as well.Her dad and I cant stand him.

MIL

Why did my DS have to get married and not want to live with me anymore?.I am just a poor widow and relied on his wages to keep me because my pension is not enough.Now he has gone and got himself married to a girl who wants her own house and spends his money like water, money he should be giving to me.After all, I was the one who brought him up.If they lived with me I would not mind so much, as she works as well and that would be two wages coming in.But no she wants to take him away and throw away his money on buying her a house.His dad and I lived in one room when we got married so that should be good enough for them as well.She refuse to listen to my advice on looking after children.I have had two of my own and worked as a mother's help to posh people.Because she is a nurse she thinks she knows it all.I mean she will not give her children dummies, every baby needs a dummy to stop them feeling deprived.When I mind them for her I give them a dummy and she goes mad.All this modern faff about not giving them proper food as well.Both of mine were eating mince and mash potatoes at three months old it never did them any harm they just ate what I ate, no money around for fancy baby milk and strained foods.One day she will learn.
/

My Mum

I have a problem with my daughter as she thinks she is better than anyone else and yet she has a chip on her shoulder, I dont have much time for her because she gets lots of un deserved attention from her Dad and I have never got on with her at all.

MIL

She has taken my son away from me, he used to be very close to his sister, now he hardly ever sees her, who is going to help us pay the bills now he is marrying her.