Rod Stewart

Is everything OK now nanaej? I do hope it wasn't too serious whatever it was.

Babs yes, my life is far from boring! Concert at the cathedral yesterday lunchtime and Giselle in the evening The dancers invited us to celebrate with them afterwards so another late night and we are going again tonight! If your retirement is as good as mine you will have a great time but, be warned, retirement is not for wimps

"Retirement is not for wimps" what can you mean?

Pleased for you, movedalot, but your comment re retirement "if yours is as good as mine you will have a great time...etc" just gives me pause for thought because I know a lot of people find adjusting to retirement difficult. It always used to be thought that while men had problems adjusting, women had their own social life, the home etc etc but more and more I suspect that it is not all sweetness and light. I know a retired (woman) GP who has devoted her professional life to caring for others and as a single parent as well as a full time GP working unsociable hours had no spare time to build up a social life or hobbies (what were they?) Yes, she has time now and has tried U3A, various groups like book clubs, walking groups etc but is still feeling "rudderless" as for the first time ever, she is not working 6 days out of 7 and "catching up" on the 7th. She admitted that she had not expected retirement to be like tihs, she imagined she would be at galleries and the theatre , a lady who lunches, pottering in the garden, having time for herself just as "everybody" had told her it would be. Not having had the time to build up much of a social circle, she is now quite lonely and many activites seem to be "coupley".Now that she has time for herself, she doesn't really know what to do with it. I think many people are led to believe that retirement is all hunky dory by ex-colleagues who will not admit that it is not always all that it is cracked up to be.
Think back to your first maternity leave , when everyody else was still at work -- life could be very lonely then. Anybody ever felt like that?

grace sorry about that, my post was a flippant response to a particular poster, not to imply that retirement is like mine for everyone. I didn't expect it to be taken seriously.

I do feel sympathy for people like your friend, I am just lucky not to be in that situation and, no, I wasn't lonely when I gave up work when pregnant (no maternity leave in those days!). Although I can sympathise, I haven't experienced it myself. My problem tends to be rather the opposite, too many choices and too many invitations.

Didn't mean to sound grudging. It can be too easy to give an inflated impression though can't it? I was at the next table to a retirement "do" recently and the man in question was saying how he would think of them on Monday mornings, or when he was on the golf course etc and I had a secret suspicion he "protested too much." In the same vein, the others were saying how he must come into school to visit and keep in touch, but again, my cynical feeling was "out of sight, out of mind"

Retirement is just the best thing since sliced bread.

Time to do exactly what you want when you want.

We are having the best time ever , certainly not boring .

here

Agree Nonu but not time to do all you want. DH was only saying yesterday that we haven't had time to fit in any cricket this year.

I suppose it can also have a lot to do with what the previous career/job was. Some professions are so much a part of one's identity that it can leave a hole when one is no longer practising. I miss the contact with teenage students and like-minded professionals but not the bureaucracy or pettiness of the adminstration and I believe not a few ex-NHS or other public sector staff would agree with me.

I think it may be easier for us than for those who have always lived and worked in one place. They may gain by knowing more local people for a long time but we gain from having a much wider network because we have lived in so many places. I think we probably find it easier to make new friends and cope with new experiences simply because of having had so many more as a result of moving around.

Move. tell him Nonu said he has to go ASAP. or there will be trouble , he must not deny himself .

Is he going to watch England v India at Edgbaston tommorrow ?

Take your point, Moved but if your job has been 6 days a week as a GP in a small practice or you are a hospital doctor and you have a child - when do you ever have the time? Or in fact if you have moved a lot, friends may be at the other end of the country - family likewise. Many people's friendships emanate from the workplace especially where hours are anti-social .I think the idea that you need preparation for retirement especially from a demanding career is a sound one.

Yes, Grace many of our friends and all our family are in different parts of the country or indeed in different countries and that enriches our retirement because we visit them and they visit us but of course we are mobile and not everyone is. There have been times in our lives when all our time was spent at work or doing things with our children and we had no time to be sociable but those are gone now. I think there are courses for pre-retirees and they are probably a good idea. Perhaps life will be very different when we are older or become infirm.

I think retirement can be a very hard step for some people. I have enjoyed having a more flexible life since I gave up full time work but my DH finds it hard to let go of work. He is retired from f/t employment but works almost full time doing freelance work and will do so until work dries up or he is not able to do the work! We still get to do the things we enjoy (we did when we worked f/t) & the biggest benefit is holidaying exactly when we want rather than fitting in with work schedules!
However some people, despite a life of work, are not fortunate to have a pension that is sufficient to allow them to travel and socialise regularly and may find retirement isolating and monotonous..money, whilst not always the most important thing, does help you to be able to enjoy free time!

Well you have certainly given me food for thought! I do realise retirement will mean big changes I work f/t as does my DH but I can retire 2 years before him. Recently I have noticed our social life petering out as we are so tired we can't find the energy! We have no family living near, D in NYC, S 250 miles away extended family likewise. We have discussed the options and have agreed to make more effort to socialise. Do you think it harder to make friends as one get's older or is it just me

Who knows what's around the corner! I have 2 friends recently retired and I have to say the one with the least money is the happiest! Maybe it's all to do with attitude

babs I think making friends is something you either find easy or not regardless of age! DH's friends (they are mine too!) are people he has known since school/college. He has made a few through work but he does not make any effort to make new friends. This may be because he is content with the pals he has or because he is -intolerant- set in his views and does not see the point of working at a possible friendship that may not work out because of hugely differing politcal/religious views!

On the other hand I am pleased to meet new people and am happy to have more 'casual' friends that I do specific things with and just not get into discussions that will illustrate major difference of opinion! Sometimes you meet someone you really get on with at all levels and do become good friends, even after the age of 50!

Nonu not just him, us! We both love cricket. No, it was sold out!

Babs I agree with nanaej. We find it quite easy to make new friends but I think it helps that we live in a very friendly place. We go to the theatre a lot and always leave time for a drink beforehand and inevitably end up chatting with someone or several. As I've already said, it may not be so easy for people who have not moved around as much as we have.

We also don't have family very close but one of the benefits of that is that we don't rely on them for our social life.

I think most of us have a reduced income in retirement but we seemed to find it easy to adjust, although I am not suggesting that everyone is in our situation. At least we own our own house so no longer have a mortgage or rent which helps. Our biggest bill is the council tax each month.

I know how you feel I rather enjoy cricket too. Nice and gentle , bit like golf really.

However, not really surprised they sold out , although at the moment I believe rain has stopped play.

Mind you it is always flippin" raining in Brum. Something to do with it being in a slight dip .

Would your nearest ground be Worcester ?

Yes, last year we would see that the weather was going to be nice the day and book tickets, use our bus passes and have a lovely day out. They are not the best team but it is still good cricket. We have also had days out to watch the women's England team which is a much faster game and they are very good.

Probably good that we couldn't go today as we have had such a busy week and could do with a little down time before I shoot off again on Thursday!

I have thought about the points you make about making friends I do enjoy casual friendships - no hassle! Good friends in my case are old friends there for you any time day or night I do love meeting new people but tend to keep them at arms length for quite a while!

As for retirement I think we will be ok financially - we are quite good at living within our means, we have had practice in the past.

DH loves cricket we are watching England as I write

Lost by 5 runs!?!

Just been sent this link: www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXdK0ejxh7s&list=PLS9fThxreYEiZbelDXxni2e8gRLqqAuLd