Just received this and was moved so decided to share with you all

I got one of these once implying that each of us had a Guardian Angel who would always look after us etc. I think my guardian angel went out for a newspaper about 1955 and forgot her/his way back.

Bags I do so agree, it is very easy to tell which Gns are empathic and which are not.

moved BCCing would not make any difference, as messages which have been forwarded show the previous "owners" at the top of the forwarded bit. BCCing only hides the other people that a message has been sent to on the current leg of its journey.

I think empathy and consideration are often best expressed tacitly in how people and their opinions are responded to in normal communications. It is an art to frame a one-off message of sympathy or condolence or an "inspirational" aphorism without sounding trite or patronising, particularly when you have never met the person concerned.

Elegran but it is so easy to just delete the email address of the person who forwarded it to you. That is what we all do.

It's still better not to forward chain mails, moved. The main reason other than those given by elegran is the emotional pressure they exert on people.

I'm sure it's allright to forward stuff to some friends just for enjoyment and with no pressure on them to forward it further, but chain mails are really something to avoid delete.

I got a nasty pm recently too. It said 'everybody' except me had responded to the thread about Mishap's and Galen's holidays (what, all 15,000 members?)! It went on to make some very nasty personal remarks about me. As both Mishap and Galen are friends of mine, I had actually sent them pms or exchanged messages on Facebook. I am still waiting for an apology.

I agree with you Bags, I just think its a bit of a shame there has been so much focus on that, which we all agree on, rather than the person who sent it to me who is suffering.

I too had a very unpleasant PM from someone to whom I had sent a kindly and helpful PM but, as has already been said, it is easy to sort out the different types of people on GN. I know the person who sent me the PM (which of course I will not quote as I understand what the P means) is not prone to apologising so I am not expecting an apology.

Greatnan I do hope that if you had an unjustified message and explained to that person why it was unjustified that they will apologise. I would if it were me.

The pm was clearly unjustified, as I have explained. Still no apology!

I don't have a problem with the OP message. It's just not my thing to express myself in such a way. When I receive these types of chain-mail posts, I just delete them and pass by. Job done. Easy.

They're often sent with kindness at heart. There are worse things.

Well, well, well. What a furore over something which someone posted with the best of intentions and several people, initially enjoyed.
Very revelling insight into some people's psyche.

Backtracking - yes, Moved It is very easy to just delete the name of the person who forwarded a sweetiepie inspirational circular to you. Would you like to drop in on my dear friend and show her how? I have given up on teaching her anything new to do with her laptop. It does what she wants - emails sent and received and forwarded (the forwarding thanks to my lesson) and links clicked on. Nothing new and difficult is her response to more advanced techniques.

That is her approach to the internet, and who am I to argue? We are all individuals.

I know I'm stereotyping when I say that this type of message is very American. But having an American friend and colleague who posts and quotes this sort of stuff on an hourly basis, and having seen her American friends and family on Facebook replying in enthusiastic kind, I have to think it is. It's very un-British, as we tend to be a cynical lot, especially us older ones, for which I'm extremely thankful.

I can't see the inspirational message as a problem though - it's easy to delete or ignore and seems to be of comfort and, well, inspiration to some, so where's the harm?

But I still wish I'd had a video camera about my person the day my pal suggested in a staff meeting that we start every day with a group hug in the staffroom....

How can anyone be expected to feel empathy for a complete stranger except on the most superficial level? Sometimes, it's hard enough to try to understand, let alone share the feelings of someone one knows well.

I'm not sure how easy it is to tell who on Gransnet is empathetic and who is not. What is easy is to tell who is judgemental in the narrow sense of the word.

In passing, it seems to me that the word empathetic is bandied around these days to mean all sorts of other things in a Humpty Dumpty sort of way.

Could you tell us what insights you have gained into our psyches, Aka?
Until Movedalot chose to mention sending a pm which she said was friendly, all I can see is that some people don't like sugary sentimental exhortations to be kind. What a shame that all the people who send Movedalot pms of support rarely put them on the open forum - this must distort the discussion, surely?

It is easier to see who publicly posts messages of support than who sends a private email. Is our empathy level judged by how well we demonstrate our concern where it can be seen by anyone passing, or by what we say in private, which is heard and seen only by the recipient?

Do we have to wail and gnash our teeth and tear our clothes and rub ashes into our hair to be accepted as a proper mourner? In some cultures the level of conspicuous distress is taken as evidence of the level of private grief. Since the death of Diana Princess of Wales it is begining to be so here.

For Greatnan to be condemned in a pm for making her sympathy with friends private and not public seems to me to the same confusion of what is felt and what is displayed.

I can't believe that anyone could be so obsessive that they feel they can comment in a pm on what another member has or hasn't said. Best ignored, although, these unsolicited and unexpected messages can be disconcerting. I think it's possible to bar messages from people who are harassing you.

I have no intention of explaining my post Greatnan. I am entitled to reflect on posts I'm sure you'll agree?

Absent can you truly not empathise with people you don't know? Truly?

It's a bit disingenuous to say you have found a "Very revelling (revealing?)insight into some people's psyche" (cut and pasted) in this mysterious way and not explain what you mean isn't it?

Some people like mission statements/twee exhortations/"uplifting" observations and some feel they can think for themselves without being told what to feel or do. Is there a problem with that?
I am finding more and more that gestures of sympathy or indeed empathy seem to be the norm, in fact their absence seems to indicate an actual lack of sympathy - viz the acres of rotting flowers still in their cellophane cleared from outside Kensington Palace after Princess Diana's death, the weeping and wailing in the streets and all that. What is more genuine? Thinking and feeling or wearing one's heart on one's sleeve?

There are two different issues going on here, really. I don't like the chain-mail element of the messages like the one in the OP, and I think them overly sentimental. However, this does not mean that I cannot sympathise with someone who is having a bad time. To suggest that the two are somehow inextricably linked is surely misguided?

Ah that lovely word 'disingenuous' * Gracesmum*. If other people can be downright rude, then I'm quite happy to claim the moral high ground and simply be 'labelled' disingenuous and I really don't care what you think!!

No need to be quite so insulting .

Really?