Anyone else on their own for Christmas?

welcome with any, I'm a relatively new granset member and confirm it can be a really friendly and supportive place. Behaviour like that shown by your husband can really dent our believe in our ability to trust our own judgement. Your posts so far say you have the emotional strength and much needed sense of humour, to see you through.
No consolation, I know, but a very similar thing happened to a close friend. I'd second Kate13's recommendation about lock changing, and legal advice. I've a feeling he'll be back...

I echo what all the other posts say Withany, welcome to GN. I am new too. I'm not near you, but there may be others who are. This is a good place to vent your feelings whenever you need to.So sorry to hear about your trouble, what a dreadful thing for your husband to do, when you have been married for so long as well, unbelievable!Hope that you will feel better soon, take care

Hi Withany, glad you posted here - even when physically alone, it's great to be able to chat to friendly sympathetic people. You can get a lot of support and laughs on GN too.

Really hope you're feeling better soon - and good to know you have your little dog with you, pets are such great loyal loving companions. Certainly much better than that b *** of a husband!

Look after yourself and keep posting x

Morning Withany. Keep talking to us all . There are good friends here for you and grans with so much common sense; warmth and empathy. Try out soop's kitchen for a and and you'll be surprised how relaxing it is .If you go early you can get the kettle on
It's a new day.Come out fighting

Go on to ebay and start selling his stuff. Might bring in a few pounds .take the advice given here. Shock and unhappiness lets the colds and flu germs in so nurture yourself.

I was shocked to read your post, Withany. Lots of good advice here and also lots of support. Please keep on posting - there are always people around.

So sorry Withany -cheated,betrayed ,isolated and alone -no wonder you succumbed to infection.
These things always feel worse around Christmas.
I've had a few lonely Christmases over last 30 yrs and it wasn't that bad.even though we didn't have Gransnet then.
Plan for the spring when you might take a holiday,start a new hobby or even consider having paying guests.
Meanwhile keep positive,keep warm and take care of yourself.

You're very brave, Withany.
I should be online too at xmas, (as long as we don't lose reception.)
Have you got Skype? That's a wonderful way to keep in touch with family.
Stay strong.

Hey Withany, not sure but looks like will be at home boxing day, seeing friends on Christmas day. You are one real brave strong lady.

Remember all those lovely grans who care, withany and keep writing. I'm around at Christmas too .Hope you're feeling better?

Remember all those lovely grans who care, withany and keep writing. I'm around at Christmas too .Hope you're feeling better?

I just read about the Abbeyfield scheme for Xmas where you can go to one of their shared homes or nursing homes and spend Xmas Day with other women on their own. You can also join in the activities in the New Year. It's in The Times newspaper today. Contact Abbeyfield and good luck!

Hello Withany, and welcome! You'll be fine! Buy your favourite food, a good boxed set or film you've always wanted to see, and luxuriate in your own company. I'm guessing that most of us Gransnet addicts will be checking in, so there'll always be someone to natter to. Good luck

What a bastard! Sorry but he a complete cad and bounder - old words but descriptive. I hope the lady in the U.S. realises this and sends him packing. Keep chatting to us on GN the one thing we all have in common is years of experience.

Similar thing happened to a friend of mine. Husband moved in with a new "lady". Spent his money on a new kitchen, new garden walls, new furniture and decorating the house. When all funds were gone she kicked him out. He thought his wife would take him back but by then she had realised she was actually better off without him! He is now living alone in a rented house probably thinking what a fool he was. My friend says she is now enjoying being her own person after years of being "the wife" of someone.

Hi everyone, feeling much better today, still have the cough but the sweats seem to have vanished. Have walked dogs this morning, and started on the washing.
Got to tell you husband went of 5th Dec. the new love in his life is 71 he is 66, she has only just buried her husband of 52 years. I emailed her and told her what my husband had done, told her she knew she had overstepped the mark when they started secretly skypeing, and didn't she ought to have a period of morning before she moved on to the next man? As I told you he met her on the Yamaha keyboard enthusiast web site. Her response was nothing about what he had done only about what she had done for her husband in his last days, she put on her lipstick, perfume gave him lots of kisses and hugs and he patted her fanny! Think I hit a nerve somewhere, anyway doesn't matter he is there now.
He emailed me twice yesterday one to say he had arrived and the other to tell me that weather terrible and he had bought food from drug store and was going to watch t.v. Like I care, think he is trying to convince me he is on his own in a hotel.
She must have booked it because there is no financial trail to suggest he did, if he had he would have got one with a bar and restaurant, because we had a nightmare in San Francisco when our hotel closed its kitchens for a re-furb and we had to eat out, the homeless there hunt in packs asking for money
Now you lovely people IS THIS TOO WICKED?? I have the lady in questions home address where my DH will be staying, I thought about sending him a Christmas present via Amazon.com a bottle of wine, maybe but then I came across a packet of 100 condoms which I thought would be more fitting what do you think? Welcome your comments and all of your support.

Hi Withany glad you are feeling brighter !
I wouldn't waste my money on the little b____R !
You are well shut of him !
{HUGS}

Withany I also would not spent the price of a postage stamp on that b*****d.

Seriously, the 90 days will fly by and before you know it, he will be on your doorstep, tail between his legs, expecting to carry on as before and by then you must have worked out what you want to do. If he has done it once, he could do it again. I personally would not give him the time of day and let him rot. Do as somebody else suggested, get legal advice.

Glad you are feeling better Withany. It sounds as if he thinks he can come back once he gets back from his little jaunt. You need to think very hard about that - do you want him back, can you forgive him for what he has done.

Like Nonu said I wouldn't waste any money on him, did he leave you a Christmas present and card? If you decide you don't want him back then while he is gone I suggest you start securing your financial future - transfer money held in joint bank accounts to one in just your name, so you have control of the money, obviously he will be entitled to half but the person who controls the purse strings calls the shots, change locks on the doors and as everyone says - take legal advice.

AS SUN said in her 2nd paragraph , get the finances sorted .
Good sound advice !!

Change the bank accounts and the locks.

The man is being a fool - that said you really need to seek proper advice.

Don't waste time playing games with wine and condoms you have more important things to do!

Although you say he's already emptied your savings account, he could run-up a huge overdraft, and credit card debt.

On a lighter note ....

Is the cupid-playing 'Yamaha keyboard enthusiast website' for real?

Good point Riverwalk. If he runs up a lot of debt you'll be liable for it too.
withany At least until you're divorced. Get the joint account sorted and stop the card he uses on it. Tell the bank you've "lost" your card and it will automatically stop both of them. Then get new cards and cut his into tiny pieces

Hi, everyone thank you for your hugs and advice, finances sorted, legal advice taken, just got to get valuation of property then my solicitor can hit him with what I want as a financial settlement, if he doesn't agree then the judge will decide.
I have to say I thought it would be worth $10 to send the condoms, I would just love to have seen his face. But I have taken your advice and not bothered, thank you for that.
Anyway, my DGD had her 5th birthday party today and I was skyped as she cut her cake, and all her friends 7 of them were introduced to her nana. It was lovely to see the little ones having fun, it was great being included even though we are miles apart, and I didn't have to deal with eight 5 year olds charging about.
I have wasted so much time trying to get to grips with the actions of my DH, seeing my DGD did me so much good, I'm hoping to catch up with my GS's in Sweden next week, about time I pulled my socks up as it were and sorted their presents for Christmas.
Once again thank you for all of your words of wisdom and support it has helped pick me up and get me started again. He may bend me but he won't break me.