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Are You Afraid Of Dieing

(67 Posts)
carnationa Wed 05-Mar-14 10:23:47

On her death bed my Mother admitted to my brother that she was scared. It was a shock because she was a very strong willed women.

Yesterday coming home in a Taxi I had a sharp pain in my chest and for a split second I was scared that I was going to die in the back of a black cab.

I think it is the fear of the un known. I believe in an after life, but still you do not know exactly what is coming and I think, that, that is were the fear stems from.

What do you think. Were does the fear stem from and are you afraif of dieing.

Nonnie Wed 05-Mar-14 10:28:59

I am not afraid of dying, just of dying in pain.

gillybob Wed 05-Mar-14 10:41:32

I admit to being terrified of dying. Sometimes I often make myself sick with worry of what would happen to my family if I were to die (soon). I can understand why this might sound crazy to some people but I have so many people relying on me that I worry what would become of them if I were no longer around. Am I completely bonkers?

KatyK Wed 05-Mar-14 10:49:05

I am terrified of dying. I don't worry about the people around me really (apart from DH) as they are all grown with families of their own. Obviously it would be horrible for my nearest and dearest but they don't rely on me. It's the thought of not being here. I don't believe in life after death so I don't really know why I'm so scared. Best get on with living then!

Charleygirl Wed 05-Mar-14 10:49:15

I do not want a protracted death where I am in a lot of pain and I am totally immobile. Am I afraid? Yes, I suppose that I am but that really is the fear of the unknown. I am not religious, having been educated at a convent and had religion drummed down my throat for many years.

Gally Wed 05-Mar-14 10:55:49

I think it's only natural to be afraid of dying. Since J died I have been less fearful of it but occasionally I can become, briefly, paralytic with fear of the unknown which is daft as once you're gone, you're gone! The fear is more perhaps of dying in pain and distress and leaving grieving family behind. Life goes on - I am finding that out sad

Grannyknot Wed 05-Mar-14 10:56:42

gilly I think that's a common worry about what would happen to people who depend on us when we die. On some of the other threads, widows have written about their husbands preparing a sort of a "DIY Be Prepared" drawer for them when the husbands have known that they were terminally ill. Really touching. I believe that sometimes it has a positive impact - my mother for example really "babied" my brother (her youngest) to such an extent that it only became apparent to us that how much he "grew up" after she died. (Not saying that's what you do!)

I'm scared of protracted illness, pain etc but not really that scared of the actual moment of dying. I'd prefer it to be instantaneous though so I don't have to think about it.

dollie Wed 05-Mar-14 11:04:51

I'm not scared of dying more how will i die!

@ gally i agree with you ( hugs)

Charleygirl Wed 05-Mar-14 11:05:04

Grannyknot I am scared of having a heart attack in the street and some well meaning do gooder coming along, administering CPR and leaving me in a worse position instead of leaving me to die a quick relatively painless death.

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 05-Mar-14 11:13:29

Not 'alf!!! grin

Some research recently came up with the idea that a lot (in fact, they said all) depression is down to the fear of dying. Which would fit in with the recent findings that a lot of today's depression is amongst women over 60.

On the other hand, when my depression cuts in badly, I feel I would welcome it. Thankfully that doesn't last long.

Brendawymms Wed 05-Mar-14 11:13:33

I am not afraid of dying and certainly not afraid of a natural peaceful death. I am afraid that if in pain and distress would be unable to do something about it.

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 05-Mar-14 11:16:54

Yes. I agree with Gally. The thought of leaving the loved ones is the hardest thing. And, on a good day, leaving the world in general is a sad thought.

soop Wed 05-Mar-14 11:18:50

I'm not in the least bit afraid of dying. It's a fact of life. smile

ninathenana Wed 05-Mar-14 11:21:17

This thread has made me think about it, which is something I never do. I now realise as others have said it's the how that scares me. Being immobile and in pain is not good.
I think developing dementia of some kind, which my mother had is more scary.

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 05-Mar-14 11:22:40

I just try not to think about it. A cold panic comes over me when I realise the day will actually dawn....... (shudder)

Mishap Wed 05-Mar-14 11:37:59

I think about dying every day, in the sense of my strong awareness of the passage of time. I also think about how I will never see my GC get married and be settled etc.

I have no fear of being dead - I think it will simply be as it was before I was born - all life is a cycle - we come, we go, and when we have had our turn and lived our life, others take over and have their turn. We return to the stardust whence we came.

I am concerned about the process of dying - I think everyone is and it would be strange not to. We are programmed to further our own survival, as are all species, and the contemplation of death flies in the face of the prime imperative to survive.

In know that if I die first, my H, who is medically trained, will do all he an to ensure that it is a peaceful and comfortable death as far as is possible.

feetlebaum Wed 05-Mar-14 11:41:13

To quote Woody Allen: I'm not scared of dying - I just don't want to be there when it happens...

After all, I was dead for millions of years before I was born, so it'll be like that again... the world will carry on turning, just not with me on it!

Elegran Wed 05-Mar-14 11:48:20

I am not afraid of being dead because by then I will either be in heaven (probably good) or hell (what is hell anyway?) or I will be nothing, nowhere, and not aware that I am not alive. What scares me is the transition from one state to another, and being unable to prevent it happening.

The other thing that bothers me is that I am fit and healthy and live alone, and often don't hear from my family for several days at a time. If I were to die suddenly, they would not know until they rang and I did not answer the phone. Even then, they would assume that I was out and ring later, or next day. So it could be up to a week before they were worried enough to come and look - and who knows the state I would be in by that time. I would not like that for them.

Charleygirl Wed 05-Mar-14 12:02:07

Elegran I have no family in this country so you can imagine how I feel! I also would not like any animal that I had to starve.

janerowena Wed 05-Mar-14 12:03:42

I'm with the 'not dying in pain' bit, and also not wanting to be found as a maggoty corpse by my nearest and dearest who will have just assumed that I was pottering in the garden. I would also not like a long and prolonged illness that causes grief to others, life is tough enough as it is.

But I am not scared of dying, so much so that I would be perfectly happy to have an assisted death at the time of my own choosing.

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 05-Mar-14 12:14:15

Agree with Feetlebaum. It will most likely be just like it was before I was born. And that wasn't scary.

Lilygran Wed 05-Mar-14 12:24:56

Twice in the last year, I have thought I might be ill enough to die but what worried me most was the idea of missing my DGS's next few years. Inevitably, I'm not going to see much of their lives so it was a fairly irrational fear. Thought for the Day on Radio 4 this morning was about the Ash Wednesday service when the members of the congregation are marked with a cross in ash on the forehead and the priest says 'Remember you are dust and to dust you will return'. I have always found that and the words of the funeral service, 'Earth to earth, ashes to ashes and dust to dust, In sure and certain hope of the resurrection' very comforting. I agree with the posters who are more frightened at the thought of dementia. My mother has a form of dementia but in spite of not really knowing where she is or who we are, she does seem quite contented. I'm sure if she knew what was happening, it would make her very unhappy. But she doesn't and she isn't.

Riverwalk Wed 05-Mar-14 12:50:12

I would think that most of us are scared by the thought of our own mortality.

A famous philosopher (so famous I can't remember the name) said something along the lines of ... a human's greatest skill is getting through each day without being petrified at the thought that the end will come.

I have twice thought that death was imminent i.e. within seconds and I have to say that I felt a great sense of peace and wasn't frightened! I speak as a non-believer.

rosesarered Wed 05-Mar-14 12:54:42

I agree with a bit of everything that has been said by other posters.It's natural that we should feel this way, we would have to be in a very depressed state not to care! We are the only animal that knows that one day we will die, that death is inevitable. No wonder animals are happy.Intelligence may have it's drawbacks, and this is one of them. At least we have reached the age we are now, when so many people don't get that opportunity.

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 05-Mar-14 12:58:40

Agree about the animals being lucky to not know.

It seems quite easy to put it out of your head when it does enter. Nature helping I suppose.