Are You Afraid Of Dieing

My gran used to read the deaths column in the newspaper first just to check she was still alive. She died writing a birthday card.
Like many others it is the how which is most concerning. Given the option I want to fall asleep and not wake up preferably before anything nasty healthwise kicks in. I am more frightened of dementia than of dying.

Carnationa - if your Mother was strong willed, the fear may have been about having to face the fact that however strong willed you are there are some things that can't be controlled. I think this is why some women who feel totally in control of their lives pre-kids find it hard to let go in labour & when bringing up children.

Re death - I just think that if my 16 year old daughter managed it, then I can too. Re what Mishap said comparing the process of birth & death, when DD was dying I felt like I was being her midwife & tried to be alongside without interfering in a very profound process. I found myself later looking at different beliefs about death & the many stages of the Buddhist process scared me most on her behalf - she'd only just started going to London on her own for heaven's sake so how could she negotiate that journey on her own!!

Jingle - from what I've read, the people who've really faced death are the ones who seem to be most at peace with it. (eg Living Your Dying by Stanley Keleman). I once went on an experiential workshop about death - luckily stopped a little short of being totally experiential but gave some interesting insights!

no, don't it twice.

Gadabout, I cannot imagine how you can have felt. I can't even put into words what I want to say. To be her midwife is surely just how it would have been... and as her mother you were able to do this.
I'm not afraid of dying. I think that I won't know what it feels like, just as I didn't know what it was like to be born. If there is something afterwards then I do hope I see those I have loved and lost, but if there isn't anything - well, I won't know about it!
I trust that if I'm going to suffer pain at the end of my life, then someone will make sure it's lessened as much as possible.

I do think about death from time to time and admit to feeling a little scared but when I was seriously ill I couldn't have given a monkeys. I could have died but it didn't worry me. I'll be sad to leave the GC and not see them grow up but that's what life's all about isn't it. My first two babies died and if they died, death can't be so bad - only for those left behind. A bit of twisted thinking but I find it comforting.

I remember, when my mother died, I thought, well, at least I will never be afraid of dying now. But that was over fifty years ago now, and that feeling has pretty much worn off.

My mother-in-law had told me she was very frightened of dying, but as I sat with her as she did die, I saw no obvious fear in her face.

I'm not afraid of dieing itself, as I have religious beliefs which sees life as "a sleep and a forgetting" - Wordsworth.
But I hate the gradual loss of physical powers which I can't do anything about.

I have given up even thinking about dying. I know I will die, that thought doesn't bother me, never has, but I have absolutely no way of knowing at the moment when, where or how I will die. Nor do I have any idea how I will feel about prolonging or not prolonging my life when I reach the stage where these questions arise.

Since my death is dependent on a whole host of questions that no-one can possibly answer at this stage I see no point on pondering on the issue until some answers are in view.

This morning a very close family friend, god father to both my children, died aged 70, he was ten days younger than me. Although he was seriously and terminally ill, death was not considered imminent 2 weeks or even a week ago. Having today looked at the face of death in a close contemporary, my views remain unchanged

Having been to the funeral of a 54 yr old former colleague & friend last week I am thinking more abut living! Diagnosed with cancer 16 years ago she knew she had a choice..to live (3 young kids) or to wait to die! She chose living and did so with enthusiasm and inspiration. I do not know if it was her attitude that helped her see her youngest child get to adulthood (18) or not.

My mum dies at 61 and I am older than that so I guess I have done OK, missed her loads but I survived as did my DDs. I think I will spend time thinking about being alive as , even without thinking about i, I am going to die anyway!

I'm not too scared of dying, since it is inevitable and there is nothing we can do about it. I just hope it's not too painful.
But, living alone (and quite liking it now that I am getting used to it),
I do wonder what would happen if I had a heart attack or stroke at home. I'm not thrilled at the idea of dying alone here, I must admit.

I just accept that we will all die. Every time another report comes out telling us how to avoid cancer/ stroke/ heart attack etc I want to ask the experts what they suggest I die of instead?
We all want our old pets to die in their sleep at home but it doesn't often happen and I suppose we want the same for ourselves.

carnationa lots of very interesting and insightful posts on here, surely they must have given you food for thought in many ways.

Henetha, a year ago I thought I was having a heart attack. I managed to get to the phone and the woman on the other end talked to me and kept me calm until she could tell me there was an ambulance outside. It was an aortic dissection instead. 50% of people who have them die before they get to the hospital. I'm still here, but worried about the next one all the time.
If it happened in my sleep, I would not be so lucky, of course.

So glad you were able to get to the phone, durhamjen, and hope it never happens to you again. But it is scary, isn't it, the thought of things like this happening while we are alone at home. When I get older I might wear one of those alarm things around my neck, just in case.
Good luck to you.

I do! I've used it when I've fallen. Last time was down the stairs and I split my head open.
The hall looked like the aftermath of a particularly bloody murder!

We had one of those after my husband was diagnosed with cancer, henetha, but as he was never left alone we never needed to use it.
After he died the council took it back.