Gransnet forums

Chat

Christmas Crackers

(89 Posts)
vampirequeen Mon 01-Dec-14 09:12:21

Yay!!!! December is here!!!!

I'll post a cracker of a joke here everyday to make you laugh/cringe grin

Here's today's:

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia!

grin

vampirequeen Sat 13-Dec-14 07:45:09

What do you call Santa's little helpers?

Subordinate clauses!

tchgrin

vampirequeen Sun 14-Dec-14 08:03:57

What do Santa's little helpers learn at school?

The elf-abet!

tchgrin

vampirequeen Mon 15-Dec-14 09:51:45

What did Santa say to the smoker?

Please don't smoke, it's bad for my elf!

tchgrin

vampirequeen Tue 16-Dec-14 18:44:01

Why did the Rudolph cross the road?

Because he was tied to the chicken!

tchgrin

vampirequeen Thu 18-Dec-14 08:58:44

What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?

Krisp Kringle!

tchgrin

Gagagran Thu 18-Dec-14 09:09:45

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?

Dam!

tchgrin

vampirequeen Sat 20-Dec-14 08:44:01

Did Rudolph go to school?

No. He was Elf-taught!

vampirequeen Sun 21-Dec-14 08:40:48

How long do a reindeers legs have to be?

Long enough so they can touch the ground!

vampirequeen Mon 22-Dec-14 08:17:53

Why did the turkey join the band?

Because it had the drumsticks!

vampirequeen Tue 23-Dec-14 08:10:27

What do you call a frozen elf hanging from the ceiling?

An elfcicle!

MiniMouse Tue 23-Dec-14 20:58:59

Thank you for the laughs VampireQ I've groaned so much my next door neighbour must be thinking I've gone into labour tchgrin

vampirequeen Wed 24-Dec-14 08:15:58

You're welcome MiniMouse. I'm glad you've enjoyed them.

What type of Shoes does Santa wear when he travels on a train?

Platforms!

tchgrin

grannyactivist Thu 25-Dec-14 00:29:15

My son made up a joke one one year when he was about 5 and it actually makes me laugh even though it is not and never has been even slightly funny.
"What do you call a donkey on a road?"
"A car."