Photos on headstones.

I think it is quite a common practice in some countries. I seem to recall that the cemetery of the Polish church near where I used to live in London had lots of pictures of those buried there. I am not a fan of windmills, solar lights, teddy bears and other paraphernalia, but photographs seem inoffensive and okay to me.

Where my DH is buried there are many headstones with photos - I don't have a problem with them. Like absent I am not a fan of the grave ornaments which seem to have become popular, although I don't mind so much when it is a child's grave.

Graves are somewhere to visit to remember the person you loved and feel closer to them, so whatever helps with the grieving process.

When my Dad died 13 years ago my Mum chose a lovely photo for the headstone,when Mum died I had the photo replaced by one of them together,I tend the grave and find it comforting every time to see the photo of them so happy together.

I visited my parents' grave last week and The Book of Remembrance room where my husband's name is written down with a message and a beautiful red rose motif.

My middle son came with me and we were both surprised at the numbers of graves with ornaments, plastic flowers etc.,

My parents' grave is marked with a white marble vase with their names and dates and I think it's quite simple but effective and marks their final resting place.

The childrens' graves were really heartbreaking, with toys placed loving on the graves. It was really sad.

We didn't see any graves with photos on but I've heard it's becoming the norm in some places.

I went for a low key way of marking my loved one's passing but every one has their own way of finding solace.

for all who mourn.

The cemetery where my DH is buried has a specially designated area where small trees have been planted. These trees are adorned with all sorts of ornaments, hearts, teddy bears, baby rattles, even fairy lights. At first I thought it a bit gaudy, but on reflection, I found it quite touching and like anya says, whatever helps the grieving process.

I haven't seen it anywhere but I wouldn't like it and hope it isn't the next trend like making the place of death into a shrine.

It's actually quite common in other countries. I remember seeing photos on graves for the first time in Père Lachaise many years ago.

It is very common on the continent. The only problem is that they do tend to get a bit tatty over time.

I do not mind what people put on graves if it helps them get through.

Very common in all Catholic countries. In Italy, almost all grave stones have photos on, and the death announcements are posted all over the village and area like advertising bill boards, with photos.

Same in parts of Switzerland which are very traditionally Catholic, like the Valais part of the Alps. So perhaps you relative has Italian or other Catholic roots and it is an old family tradition?

If it helps the bereaved why should it trouble others, look at graves from the Victorian era, massive white marble cherubs etc

German antecedents Granjura, from Karlsruhe/Worms area and def not Catholic. I know I have an issue with photos of deceased family members-I find them extremely painful to look at as they just remind me so forcefully of what has been lost. They make me want to cry so I personally don't derive any comfort from them. Cherubs are fine, they're anonymous.

Crying for someone you have lost is fine x

It's a dreadful idea.

Even worse is when people put photos of the person being commemorated on memorial benches.

Why?

They pay for headstones and memorial benches so they are surely entitled.

Bit like sitting next to a ghost.

And I can't help thinking it's in bad taste. Inflicting your grief on others. Benches are for the living. I appreciate the message is, "he loved this place", but just say that. Any more is unnecessary.

Please don't call me a prat again for saying something you disagree with.

You're correct of course Anya, but pics always flood/overwhelm me. Prefer to deal with grief in more manageable (for me) less all-encompassing ways. SIL was/is very hard for me as pics everywhere for small dgd.

I just cannot equate the pics - whether they be on headstones or at home-with the interred mortal remains. Either that or I equate it too much, I'm not sure which.

have I missed a post - I have looked hard but can't find a post calling you a prat jingl ??? Where?

Same here???

jingl has a long memory!

But you don't have to sit on somebody else's bench do you?

KatyK so sorry, did you mean your small DGD?

It would be helpful if you could jog our memory with a quote Anya- as it is really puzzling. It is really not helpful when people make cryptic short comment which relate to posts hours, days, months or even years old- without making things clearer.

I'd never call someone a prat for disagreeing with me, for instance, but maybe I may if they are behaving like one (not on a Forum though, but face to face).

A long memory? Yeah. It was all of 4 days ago.

It has nothing to do with anyone else but Anya and me.

#sokeepyernoseout