Photos on headstones.

Photos on headstones seems like a harmless practice. When you are grieving no one cares about tackiness. Grieving a loved one is a very painful process both psychologically and physiologically It is unavoidable and a normal part of life. Photos have a purpose whether they are in an album, on a wall or on a headstone. They bring alive a moment in our lives, they make us smile.

I'm a bit confused Annie. I completely respect whatever people choose to do in these circumstances. It's such a very personal thing that it must be entirely up to any individual or family how they deal with grief. I'm just saying that I personally am not good with photos. My parents died in 1998 and 2000 and I've never displayed a photo since. Too painful for me.

Photos in the house don't fade and get weather beaten. For one thing.

Katek, I have no framed photographs of my parents in my house, my siblings do, it is a very personal thing

I have photos of my wonderful parents dotted around the house- and it is a joy to see them. As said, very personal.

the pictures don't get tatty that I have seen , they seem to be encased in acrylic or something like that and incorporated in the headstone

That's right aggie. Many have been there for years, and seem untouched by weather, including months of snow.

It is common practice here in Malta also. Judging by the age of some of the photographs, it has been the custom here for many years. Personally, I can't see anything wrong with it.

Did want a picture on beloved husband's headstone but can't remember why we didn't go ahead with it. But I go regularly to cemetery and tend his grave along with those of our infant son and my parents. All of them have properly tuned wind chimes and candles in lanterns, and my son has 2 little statues showing a baby and and an angel. In years gone past before little lanterns became available we would put a candle in a jam jar, if we could keep it alight long enough in a very windy coastal cemetery! And also at Christmas they all have little trees complete with battery run tiny lights and baubles. All really tacky I know but it comforts me to see them there. It personalises a very impersonal space. (I have never resorted to plastic flowers though!)

A touching post grandmac

I do remember seeing these in Spain and I think it's really nice. I honestly can't see the problem.

Not tacky at all,picture on my Mum and Dads headstone is encased in a lovely cameo type frame and completely weatherproof.

I respect others point of view regarding photos around the house but I like having them. I have both my sets of GPs, DH's GPs and mine and DH's DPs.

How judgemental we can be about other people's choices. Customs and practices in the UK are changing, possibly as a reflection of the fact many of us are more widely travelled and less bound by Church convention than in previous generations.

Our local Church graveyard has a number of graves for infants or children. They're festooned with all kinds of toys, windmills etc and so well cared for. What's to criticise about that or about someone including an image of their loved one on the head stone. We chose a traditional head stone for my parents, added mums name when she joined dad but if one of my children had died I suspect I'd have been in the windmill/soft toy club

I have not said anything about toys on children's graves. Quite another matter.

Derived from Roman Catholic/continental shrines?