Coming in from the flipside. I'm married to a narcissist who NEEDS the adoration of his children and grandchildren, but they cannot stand to be around him. He talks over everyone, brags (about nothing vital), and turns every g-d conversation around to be about himself.
We only see one of his 3 sons for two days twice each year. He travels once a year to see the 2nd son and his family, while the third (bipolar) son hasn't been seen nor heard from in 10 years.
For my part, I tried to be the third grandmother from the day the grandchildren were born...loving, involved to a degree, and without suggestions or recommendations of any kind. At this point, however, I remain the only "member" of this family who apparently doesn't have a birthday (an email would be fine!), or celebrate Christmas, so yeah, I failed.
Today I expressed concern about the teenaged grandchildren (e.g., too much tech, not enough socialization), and it was taken at criticism. And he finally said it: "You never had kids, so you don't know what you're talking about."
That's where many of us who aren't doting grandparents are coming from, so please think about this side.
