Gransnet forums


Gransnet today....Just my opinion.

(557 Posts)
merlotgran Sun 27-Nov-16 11:43:46

Don't want to completely hi-jack the 'Christmas in four words' thread so I've started this one. Feel free to shoot me down. I don't do flouncing. grin

Some time ago, the 'What does Gransnet mean to you?'thread developed into a 'Bring back jingl' campaign. Despite this, it has become clear that we are not entitled to an explanation as to why she is still shackled to the naughty step

We inhabit a goldfish bowl which must be respectable to the outside world looking in on an ageing cyber community. Old people are only expected to be curmudgeonly in books and TV nonsense. Manufactured threads about growing old disgracefully are perfectly acceptable so long as they fit the approved template which has been set by people who are NOT as old as we are.

All well and good until a situation causes a ding-dong. We must be ever mindful that Gransnet is a business relying on advertising revenue. Swearing is tolerated on Mumsnet because it's acceptable in the young and feisty whereas the 'one foot in the grave' club have to leave all that behind and remember our opinions don't really count any more.

The political threads are argumentative because that's politics. You can't put a straight jacket on a well informed if opiniated point of view which is as it should be. Folk who hide behind the sofa when all hell breaks loose should know better than to get caught in the cross-fire.

So....We're allowed to moan about Brexit, complain about our aches and pains and chat about telly dramas/adverts/music. We willingly offer support to complete strangers even though it often comes back to bite us. I'm not the only one who can spot a set-up. Above all, we must remain bland!

There were two members who railed against this. One is sadly no longer with us and the other has been kicked into touch for being too outspoken. Unsurprisingly, they rarely saw eye to eye but that's LIFE!

I'm off to put the joint in the oven. I might even start a thread about it. hmm

Only joking!

thatbags Sun 27-Nov-16 11:48:43


trisher Sun 27-Nov-16 12:01:29

Oh Hear, hear. It's 'sit grandma in the corner and hope she doesn't show us up when we have company by saying something naughty'. (And if she does we'll shift her into the conservatory and leave her there.)

Ana Sun 27-Nov-16 12:04:49

People do swear on here though. When the occasion warrants it. It's not against the 'rules'!

petra Sun 27-Nov-16 12:05:54

Merlotgran Above all we must remain bland . Oh how true!! One of the reasons I joined MN was because i can post exactly what I want to say without it being deemed offensive by a small amount of posters who love to click the delete button.

petra Sun 27-Nov-16 12:10:42

The delete button wasn't used against me because of swearing but I was accused of something I didn't say. When challenged they admitted that I was correct but the post was still deleted.

jollyg Sun 27-Nov-16 12:13:04

What about the granny in the corner releases a loud fart.

Thats what grannies do...... they are deaf and need to be tolerated

Alima Sun 27-Nov-16 12:38:38

I do so agree. I sometimes feel as though we are all on the naughty step, ready and waiting to be expelled. It was JBF who brought the situation in Aleppo to my conscience, each time I hear the name Mosul I think of her. Can't say the same about say, mash.

GillT57 Sun 27-Nov-16 12:40:08

Hear hear! I get REALLY annoyed by (generally) new members who whine and moan about strong opinions which they take as personal attacks. I for one did not join GN to discuss the cute sayings of grandchildren although I respect the rights of those who wish to do so. I joined to read other's opinions on matters which concern or interest me, I like to hear the other side of things whether it be Brexit or anything else of importance and interest, and I love being part of a club which includes people of many professions/jobs/ages/experience/places, a club which is only really possible online.

morethan2 Sun 27-Nov-16 12:41:31

I don't have the time to follow the very long threads but I hadn't realised that if you wanted to say somthing controversial you'd be barred. I thought someone had to make a complaint about somthing of a very personal nature before that happened. Most of the 'the one for in the grave' people I know are far from bland. They are the very people that are likely to have the confidence to be feisty and put their opinion across very forcibly. I'd suggest that the advertisers don't know their target audience very well if that's what they want.

loopylou Sun 27-Nov-16 12:44:20

I totally agree and that's partly why I now spend far less time on here.
I have no idea what Jingl said or did but it seems pathetic that she's still banished so many weeks later (in fact the whole banishment bit strikes me as being somewhat arbitrary).

Ana Sun 27-Nov-16 12:48:50

Yes, this 'banning' of members does seem rather silly.

Unless someone is being deliberately rude/offensive/provocative on every single thread, it's likely that they just have strong feelings on certain subjects and should be allowed to express them. Even if some others don't like 'robust' language! hmm

trisher Sun 27-Nov-16 12:50:26

Having had 2 posts removed I can say that it is completely arbitrary, depends on who is in the office and how they are feeling that day, oh and how good they are at understanding English (this isn't a racist remark in my opinion many of the English educated are the poorest at understanding what is actually being said).

ffinnochio Sun 27-Nov-16 13:03:24

Hear, hear merlot

Jane10 Sun 27-Nov-16 13:09:28

Maybe Jings is already back under another name? Maybe she doesn't want to come back? GN seems OK to me at present but things can blow up any time.

sunseeker Sun 27-Nov-16 13:10:00

Some posters I agree with, some I don't but that's life. Surely we are all adults on this site and as such should by now have learned to accept that others will have opinions (some very strongly held) which disagree with ours. I don't think anyone posts anything to be deliberately offensive. How many people have to complain about a post before it is deleted? 1,5,10, 20?

Ana Sun 27-Nov-16 13:17:12

She's not back.

Cherrytree59 Sun 27-Nov-16 13:28:16

I agree. Ana she's not back.
I am always on the look out for our Scarlet Pimpernel
Maybe she will return in the New Year.

Is JBF using Mumsnet at the moment?

Luckygirl Sun 27-Nov-16 13:40:35

There are lots more deleted posts on Mumsnet! It happens all the time. So the idea that we but not they are expected to communicate with each other in a reasonable unhurtful way does not hold water I suspect. I do not feel that I am being asked to conform to some sort of ancient stereotype of a granny - you only have to look at the response to the sex after 60 thread to see that nothing could be further from the truth - we are not the children of the 60s for nothing!

It takes all sorts to make a world (and a forum) and I tend to ignore the threads where a poster is being deliberately unpleasant or provocative for no reason, as I do in RL. I am all for a good argument based on facts and opinions, but I do not think it is unreasonable to get rid of posts whose clear aim is to offend or hurt. Gransnet is what it is (a commercial enterprise) and it cannot afford to have lots of people dropping out because people are rude.

I do not think that swearing is a problem - but personally directed unpleasantness is. There is a tendency to feel that you can say what you like in the ether in ways that you might never do in RL, and I can understand that this has to be kept in some sort of check - we do not know the state of mind or health of someone on the receiving end of unpleasantness or how vulnerable they might be. We do get to know the personalities of some regular posters and might say things to them that might be inappropriate with a new member.

Jingl did push the boundaries and that is fine - but there were a few occasions when it went too far IMO. I had many a good laugh at her outspoken comments, as we all did, but a sharp intake of breath when sometimes these comments could cause deliberate hurt to an anonymous person whose vulnerability was unknown.

Gransnet have a difficult line to tread and on the whole I do not think they do a bad job. There are times when I think a post should be deleted and it is not (e.g. unsafe "medical" advice to a vulnerable person).

merlotgran Sun 27-Nov-16 13:59:37

I don't worry about posts being deleted, it's people being deleted that gets my goat.

Be back later. Slight family crisis means I have twice the number of people for lunch now.

Off to do my loaves and fishes act. hmm

rosesarered Sun 27-Nov-16 14:00:37

I agree Luckygirl

TriciaF Sun 27-Nov-16 14:07:27

So do I.

Anya Sun 27-Nov-16 15:00:29

I'm really not interested to discover how many TVs people own, or to worry about those who still haven't mastered the art of creamy mash. Husbands watching football on TV, hide the remote. Problems with DiLs have surely been done to death and so has slagging off people's choice of 'news' paper.

GN used to be much more than this - didn't it?

Ana Sun 27-Nov-16 15:03:31

Yes, Anya. Or have we got rose-tinted specs on...?

Luckygirl Sun 27-Nov-16 15:10:31

It is much more than this I think. What is it you would like to see Anya that is missing?