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Christmas jokes

(34 Posts)
DaphneBroon Thu 15-Dec-16 09:00:53

Nazareth 2000 years ago

Mary: Did you lock the door?
Joseph: YES
Mary: Did you book the hotel?
Joseph: IT'LL BE FINE, GET ON THE DONKEY

Oldgreymare Thu 15-Dec-16 09:34:06

What did Adam say to Eve on 24th December?

It's Christmas Eve!

JackyB Thu 15-Dec-16 11:46:32

Anyone telling a Christmas joke should always start:

"This one will sleigh you..."

Juney64 Thu 15-Dec-16 11:48:22

I'd best not post mine - s'abit rudey.

Anya Thu 15-Dec-16 12:14:39

Not strictly a joke but can anyone name the ten reindeers named in either songs or poems?

Luckygirl Thu 15-Dec-16 12:17:15

Oh come on Juney - don't leave us in suspense!! grin

NanKate Thu 15-Dec-16 16:39:06

How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit?
No Brussels.

Rudolph, Donna, Blixen, there's 3 Anya

Ana Thu 15-Dec-16 16:41:36

Dancer and Prancer?

Anya Thu 15-Dec-16 16:43:09

So far you're in the lead NanKate ....but I think you've amalgamated Blitzen and Vixen [tchgrn] so in the spirit of Christmas we'll call that 4!!

Anya Thu 15-Dec-16 16:43:36

tchgrin I meant!

Anya Thu 15-Dec-16 16:45:02

So far we have

Rudolph, Donner, Blitzen, Vixen, Dancer and Prancer. Six down, four to go.

Greyduster Thu 15-Dec-16 16:48:27

Wasn't there a Dasher?

shandi6570 Thu 15-Dec-16 16:49:44

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?

Christmas Quackers - I know, terrible isn't it, but DGS thinks it's very funny.

Anya, is your question a Christmas joke? I thought there were only 8 Reindeer tchconfused

Anya Thu 15-Dec-16 16:56:56

Yes, Dasher, that's brought it to 7!

Yes, it's sort of jokey Shanda ....but there is an answer. I used to give this to HTs at this time of year as a warm up to a training session. It was funny watching them trying to get it. Only once did one group be all 10.

shandi6570 Thu 15-Dec-16 17:08:27

Okay, thanks Anya, am really interested in knowing the answer. Was Comet one?

Anya Thu 15-Dec-16 17:18:25

Yes, Comet brings us to 8.

sunseeker Thu 15-Dec-16 17:19:48

Deep breath - Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen plus Rudolph.

The 10th is Olive - "Olive the other reindeer"

Was told this by a small child - prompted by her Dad!

Anya Thu 15-Dec-16 17:21:29

To recap, Dasher and Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, Comet, Donner and Blitzen. and Rudolph.

Just 2 to go.

shandi6570 Fri 16-Dec-16 12:18:07

Thanks sunseeker for giving the answer. I spent a couple of hours working out why the 10th was Olive, even though you gave a clue. My OH says I have no sense of humour, not true though, I have, it just takes me a long time to get jokes tchgrin

Another Christmas cracker joke:

How do you know Santa has to be a man?
- No woman would wear the same outfit year after year.

Juggernaut Fri 16-Dec-16 12:29:56

How does King Wenceslas like his pizza?
Deep pan, crisp and even! tchsmile

Grandma2213 Sat 17-Dec-16 02:44:58

sunseeker my DGC's favourite Christmas joke too ie the nasty reindeer. 'Olive the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names!'

Grandma2213 Sat 17-Dec-16 02:48:42

Just heard this one. What does a BHS Christmas tree look like?

.....

It has no branches! tchsad GROAN!

rosesarered Sat 17-Dec-16 08:24:31

That's quite good tchgrin

Auntieflo Sat 17-Dec-16 08:48:52

Reindeer CUPID. That' s all I thought

Anya Sat 17-Dec-16 09:01:46

OK.

The 10 reindeer are Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen ( from the poem 'Twas the Night Before Christmas) and Rudolph and Olive (from Rudolph the Re-Nosed Reindeer song)