how did your position in your family affect you and your life.

((?)) Marydoll

I was the 3rd of 3 with 2 brothers 4 and 5 years older than me. They were born at the beginning of the war, me at the end, I felt my father never bonded with his sons as he was away, like many fathers serving in a very dangerous war, i was the apple of his eye, My mother treated us equally and loved us all.

My brothers were close and had lots of friends and shared interests until the 11+ then one passed and the other didn't. They did still do things together but it wasn't the same, In the end the brother that went to the grammar school didn't educationly do much better than the other and I did the best,

On reflection now I feel the war had a great effect on our father and his relationship with us children and he had PTS.

My brothers were good to me, but liked to run away when they had to look after me. At about age 9 my mother bought me a very smart hat which my brothers didn't appreciate as they use to make me walk behind them when we went to Sunday school, but they were good brothers

My mother died at 51 and my father treated my brothers rather badly and I was his favourite. I felt very bad about that and took him to task at times. I loved my father but I didn't want to be his favourite,

I am the middle child of five, four girls, my younger brother and sister are twins. I always have known my eldest sister was jealous of me and that my father only wanted daughters.

It's only recently my eldest sister told me what happened to her when our sister (who was born when my sister was seven and I was 2 1/2), died 3 months later. My sister thinks that was the time she and mum became distant, also mum had another baby who died at birth when my eldest sister was around two. My mother in her grief seemed to forget my sister had lost a sibling while I who remember our baby dying was too young to be really affected. I was the one who mum always said helped her through it, (because I was home with her all day while my older sisters were at school), My maternal grandmother and my father were useless to say the least. My sister must have been feeling pushed out and then having to hear how I helped mum get through losing her baby. Then because I had very blonde hair I was called The blonde by my father and my sister was called Cabbage Head. I feel really sorry my sister went through this and I paid for a lot of my parents not thinking what they were saying and doing.

It is only recently, my brother who I have always got on with has talked about how our father really showed how he just never wanted sons. My maternal grandparents also said they disowned my brother (their only grandson) because he wouldn't be carrying on their name.

For me I always wanted to be an only child, I was always blamed for everything. My brother has also said I was the one who got the blame.

Parents do so much damage and surely they are aware of what is coming out of their mouths.

I am eldest of five , my parents made sure I wasn't expected to take responsibility for the younger ones, the younger ones were not allowed to intrude on my privacy and I had my special time alone with my parents . Now our children are very close, eleven cousins who are also close friends and all are Godparents to the next generation

I was expected to follow my sister...do as she did. If she hadn't liked doing something I of course would not like doing it. How did it impact? I am a rebel of course and loving it

That's lovely that the older children are god parents to the younger ones Anniebach I wish my parents had been so understanding. I was expected to trawl by little sister with me everywhere and if she couldn't go then neither could I . I remember my friend asking if I could sleep over at hers. I was about 13 at the time and my sister would have been 8. I was very excited. My mum had the cheek to say that yes, I could sleep but my little sister had to sleep too. Imagine what my friends parents must've thought? She did come with me and slept over and I hated her for it. Needless to say I was never asked back.

What a really interesting post. Especially as l, like Angela1961 & Silversands, was an only child. Had a very happy and much loved childhood but always wanted a sister. Now l have an insight into what it could have been like. My parents are long dead now and l often think of something l would like to ask them and no brother or sister to share thoughts with. On the plus side, l have a wonderful husband and daughter.

Like you gilly I had to take my younger sister with me wherever I went, when your sibling is 10.5 years younger it is awful. I left home when sister was seven and then I had some life.

Yes I do think my position in the family did have an impact on my life. I was (still am!) a middle child with a brother 18 months older and a sister 9 years younger.

My mother quite openly told me that I was unexpected and at an inconvenient time for them and that she tried the gin and hot bath treatment when she was first pregnant with me - to no avail it would seem! So that made me feel great!

My older brother was to some extent the golden boy - he was certainly allowed to do much more than I was, even though my mother was stridently feminist. Although to be fair my education was valued as highly as his. In fact my sister and I achieved more academically than my brother. My younger sister was of course the baby (and planned! - or so they say).

So - not the golden boy, not wanted, and not the baby! So who am I?!