How do you take care of yuorself when you are a carer?

dealing!

The voluntary agencies often receive funding on either a local or national basis to carry out these caring roles, cassandra. I think this is a good way to use resources!

to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow.

It could so easily have been the other way around, I'm just thankful that OH is still alive.

I'm afraid that your post Illtellhim has been a bit of a thread killer. While the sentiment is admirable, and most of us would agree wholeheartedly (as I do though I am not at all religious) it presupposes that only one person in the partnership is in need of 'care' at a time. This thread has been about 'who cares for the carer' - given that this is a Grandparent's site, it is reasonable to suppose that most of the contributors are older folk who are likely to have some health problems of their own. Who is to look after them if their life partner is not able to through illness or disability?

Also, not all marriages/long term partnerships have been happy and fulfilling, with mutual support and give and take. Marriage vows may have been broken or the couple may have stayed together for convenience or the children's sake, with no love between them. Yet the partner left standing is expected/forced to undertake the caring role. I am not in that position but I know several women who are, Even I am now caring for a much loved husband who is changing into a stranger, without shared memories, who keeps asking 'when am I going home' - he means to his childhood home, although we have lived in this house for 45 years and he renovated it extensively and built the extension with his own hands.

To end on a positive note, the NP at the Day Therapy Unit has arranged for DH to continue attending on Wednesdays for another 6 weeks and has contacted the Day Care providers, urging them to 'fast track' DH's referral. Hooray.

Odd you should quote that illtellhim and yet you say you enjoy internet dating
I think it was annsixty who said she wondered if any of us realised what we signed up for all those years ago, but that is life isn't it?
Like parents who care for handicapped children or children (sometimes quite young or like us, adult) who care for elderly or disabled parents. That is what society is about.
Not the "me, me, me" attitude we see too often.
It all falls apart if we ignore the responsibilities of relationships, love has its price after all. Likewise friendship which must also be predicated on give and take.
This is not an attempt at a solution, but pointing out that we ALL have a responsibility to others and cannot leave it all to the "professionals" although I for one am very grateful for what support I and Paw get at present.

Good article from one Carer's point of view:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-41172439

Excellent post Granny23

I am so pleased to read that your DH has had his Day Therapy extended for another 6 weeks. I presume that means yet another battle to come then?

Epic fail today - lost my debit card - simply so stressed out I did something stupid with it - left it at the till in the supermarket, or on the side where people pack things. Realised within minutes, but it was gone ... a.n.other headache with bank / cancellation etc.

On the plus front ...bought myself the most shamelessly large Belgian bun you can imagine - and one for DS as well - his soon disappeared! Also bought some nice new comfy clothes for when I do carer training next week. At least I will feel good and that I look as neat as I can.

And I popped into the photo-shop and printed off a picture of DH with his son that I took on his birthday so that will be nice for him to come home to.

Little treats ... good therapy xx