Being FRIENDS - can you do it?

I stayed friends with my ex, when he remarried, he, his wife and her kids and mine and my second husband invariably spent Christmas and Easter together. He always bought my daughter presents as well as our joint kids so she wasn't left out. Sadly his second wife died and he is now remarried and I am friends with his third too. As I am with his stepkids. No need for animosity on any side,

blue60 Your situation must have been so hard. At least my ex paid maintenance, and paid mortgage until my new husband bought him out. I'm not surprised you feel as you do.

I was so glad to get rid of my first, so I would feel very sorry for anyone who came after me, so no problem there.

Life is too short and gc too precious to spend time arguing or holding grievances. You only have to spend a minimal amount of time with your ex and new partner, surely people can behave like adults. Or so my thinking went (still does) however, my ex's new wife spent years undermining this and doing all she could to break our bd from her father. This didn't come to light until he was terminally ill and died when she even tried to ban her from the funeral. She's now seperated herself completely from our bd and the dgds who thought of her as nanny. What a waste of energy that could have been used more positively, what a loss to her and how hurtful for the bgds.

Never spoke to my ex husband after he left for the local barmaid ......as she was expecting his twins ....and he informed me that he would not be seeing our daughter (age 6) as he 'now has a new family'.......I would take her to her grandma (ex mil) if I knew he was going as I thought she should still be in touch with him. Never paid maintenance (despite m y working in a solicitors and taking him to Court on a regular basis) had to taker daughter out of a lovely little private school, sell the house and move 200 miles away where we knew no one, so she could start over, like me (we took the National Express to London for her to see the ex grandparents a lot at weekends and school holidays ...they used to take her on holiday every summer which she loved !) her father meanwhile had no contact ....no birthday or Christmas cards ,,,,,nothing ! Although I was devastated at the time, and so sad for my daughter, I did manage to have a much better life without him ...he was a compulsive gambler who had a good job as a director of a Lloyds of London insurance brokers, earning a lot ....and gambling it all so that I had to pay the bills, school fees etc out of my salary....made my day when the woman he left for phoned me in my new house and said 'Why didn't you tell me he was a gambler'.........as they had had their house repossessed and were living, with their by now 4 children, in a b & b ........

I could never be 'friends' with me ex wife. She made my kids life hell, whenever my daughter, his only one, would phone and ask to speak to her dad, she would always ask who was calling! At one point she told me I would never get another penny maintenance for my youngest son as they now had a son who he needed to support.

I think it may depend on whether the new partner was instrumental in the breakup of your marriage or not.. My ex h cheated on me with a person called H then they broke up and after a time he moved in with another person A. I don't have problem with A and we are perfectly civil to each other. I do not get on well with my ex h and would never confide in him but when necessary we can be civil to one another as we share a grandchild.

My ex son in law was very dear to me, but since he cheated on my daughter I find it hard to look at him, I remain civil because of my grandchildrrn

A most definite no from me. My ex and his now wife had been having an affair for at least 5 years and had been fleecing the family home and finances under the justification he was working....I was the higher earner who left all the banking to him. So however sweet and wonderful this other woman may be they can enjoy their life together built on lies. I am well rid happily remarried.

I wasn’t married but had spent 17 years with my ex partner, he was much younger than me and we have a 14 year old son. When we initially split up I was awful to him not for leaving but for the way he did it. Not long after he moved a girl in who is now his partner I was livid and spent about 18 months making his and her life hell and my own. Then I realised it was affecting our son and I totally turned it around and we sorted it out. Now three years down the line we are all genuine friends, have dinner together most weekends and I often go to see bands with my ex because his partner has very different music tastes than we do! I now see him leaving was the right thing to do for all of us. I have no partner but am happily living my own life. Our boy gets the best of both worlds and my ex’s partner is great with my son so yes I believe it can work but at first it isn’t easy but we all get on great now and life is far easier and pleasant!

Amazing life stories on here..

The father of my dd could drop off the edge of the world & I wouldn't care a jot! He definitely cheated on me at least once (I'm so happy I didn't marry him!!).
One of his gf i really liked. She was super intelligent and my dd liked her. Ive no idea how he pulled her... but im confident he was thete for money as he was a waster, who at one point lied about working to get out of paying child support! She came to me when she found he'd been cheating. I found it difficult to have sympathy tbh. The next one was bloody awful. She mentally abused my dd until I put a stop to it!! (When I found out!!) & as he was a weak lily livered alcohol riddled arse he stuck by her & not his dd!!??. That woman died of alcohol related complications. My dd wasn't upset by this & her father fell out with her.
I want nothing to do with him. He's never bothered with my dd or the dgc & still lives in a drunken stupor of lies and bull. I don't imagine any woman would find it attractive now do will never have to concern myself with him or a new woman ever again ?

Both my daughters have been divorced, oldest one on way to second divorce, but we have all stayed friends with absent fathers/ex hubbies for the sake of the children. When they first split up, there was a degree of animosity on all of them, but we all decided to try and keep a bit of normality in the various relationships. We all speak to each other, ex inlaws speak to one another and grandkids are secure in the knowledge that they are loved by everyone. My hubby and I have even stopped for a cuppa with one ex son in law while dropping his boys off to him. I can now honestly say, two out of my three ex son in laws have been great fathers, but lousy husbands. The third was a waste of space, but his adult children do keep in touch with him and we all talk about him in a respectful way to them. Life is too short to be falling out with each other.