Argy Bargy madness, come right in! ??

Can we have a Christmas Pantomime?
If we had Cinderella, we'd perhaps struggle to find someone to play "her" but we'd be ok for Widow Twanky's and loads of choice for the Ugly Sisters.
Thor would look pretty in a pink sparkly dress and he has the long blonde locks.
Pint of Poteen please Trev!
Oh yes! Trev could be Prince Charming! sigh he's so handsome.

Oy! Who are you calling ugly ? I'll have you know when I have my head in a paper bag I am quite acceptable.

I agree a panto would be fun...oh no it wouldn't....oh yes it would

Ha! Doodle
He's behind you!!!!!!

not Santa!!!

I could play the Christmas pudding. I'm big enough.
????????????

12 marydoll, 12!! what's the betting we'll be up at a bakers dozen soon.

I'm aiming for the Guiness book of records! ?
Doodle, I knew you wouldn't resist counting!!!!!

On the first day of Christmas, Big Jim gave to me,
A ferret in a fir tree, ?

Next person into the bar do the next line in the song please,

I’ll have a pint of Jack Daniels while I wait.

On the second day of Christmas. Santa gave to me,
ten little babies and another three.

On the 3rd day of Christmas Santa gave to me 3 pairs of hotpants; 10 little babies and a ferret in a pear tree.

Don’t care who got the fourth day but Santa gave me 5 gold rings so there
marydoll when are the little sproglets due? We really ought to be making some preparations.

Oh I missed it. I’ve just popped back in to check.....another three.....marydoll that means we’re up to thirteen now ?.

Five gold rings! Doodle you festive fibber you.?
You missed out the fourth day, so,
On the fourth day of Christmas , Thor gave to meeee,
Four pints of poteen,
Three pairs of hotpants,
Etc
And a ferret in a fir tree.

On the sixth day of Christmas, the Captain gave to meee,
Six sailors singing,
Five gold rings!
Four pints of poteen etc
And a ferret in a fir tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas Trevor gave to me, seven shots of whisky.
6 sailors singing
Five gold rings
Four pints of Poteen
Three pairs of hot pants
Ten little babies
And a ferret in a Fir tree!

On the 8th day of Christmas the bailiff gave to me 8 white mankinis
7 shots of whisky
6 sailors singing
5 gold rings
4 pints of poteen
3 pairs of hot pants
10 little babies
And a ferret in a pair tree

On the ninth day of Christmas the Admiral gave to me ........................ I’ll let you know when I get back from having my shots at the clinic

??
Oh dear, Doodle

On the tenth day of Christmas, Maureese gave to me,
Ten selfies pouting,
Nine -!#-/
Eight white mankinis,
Seven shots of whisky
Six sailors singing
Five goooold rings!
Four pints of poteen
Three pairs of hotpants etc etc.

On the 11th day of Christmas, Big Jim gave to me

11 permanent tattoos
10 selfies pouting
9 heaven knows, but a dose of penicillin should help
8 white mankinis
7 shots of whisky
6 singing sailors
5 gold rings
Etc.....

Ah! Here you all are!!
Flipping heck!!!! What's it been like out there today?
I need a large one!
Calm down Admiral....
A very large Dubonnet and Lemon please Trev ????
Don't mind me, I'll just slump here in the comfy chair.

I know!!
The Argy is a safe space, where we can all believe what anyone says, phew! Thank heavens fot that eh?
Buffy you do realise that you are slumping on the Captain who was asleep in the comfy chair.
I have put a tray of fresh ( almost) pies on the bar counter and the drinks are on the house tonight....cheers!

That's not a comfy chair Buffy; that's Marydoll's "lying in chair". She's been making a nest there for when she has her 13 possibly more now sproglets. What about the hammock slung between the door jambs? Could you manage to get up there? It's nice and peaceful up there. until someone opens the door