Argy Bargy madness, come right in! ??

This where we are kipping??

Room for a small one, I do like a sundowner ???

Flippin 'eck Marydoll that outdoor lavvy has scrubbed up a treat hasnt it?

lemon was scrubbing at it for hours last night so that Jason the Alsation could have her litter of pups in comfort In there. She's done us proud!

By the way..... are you bunked up with Big Jim? Or the Rear Admiral? Or Uncle Fester's 2nd cousins brother? lost track

All of them!!??

Move up Marydoll, there’s plenty of room in there. I need to put my feet up after searching for Big Boris, well he escaped this afternoon and I knew Lemon and Chewbacca wanted to search him again, just to be sure he’s not Russian. He got all the way to Parliament Square before I caught him, he got caught up in a rush of those protesters who are protesting about the rights of ferrets. The television was there, but I managed to avoid them, but Boris didn’t, if you watch the news tonight he’s all over it. Anyway, I managed to get him, and with help of a friendly policeman I got him back here. Well now, Lemon and Chewbacca can search him again, but they’ll have to go behind the Tena machine and be discreet. I’m joining Marydoll and all her friends for a long lie down.

Oh no your not, Mad One, James and I are spending "quality* time together! ?

Has anyone noticed that since Marydoll has returned ( from who knows where) she is being very free with our names!
Such cheek should not go unpunished methinks.
So, as a penance I shall be rationing her poteen and taking Big Jim away fir a weekend break in Solihull.?

I am already packing!
Does he like frilly nighties I wonder??

I think he prefers red patent stilettos Lemon. But you could try a red nightie to go with the stilettos.

Marydoll The decor is what I call "proper classy". Lurve those balls balloons.

Yes, think I should charge more than a tenner a night now!
In fact, I may make it my own boudoir.

Thanks for all the baked goods Soop they went down a treat
( and possibly came back up again) haha, with our customers.
I have saved a slice of toadstool quiche for you maddy, and have left a pint of cooking sherry on the bar for you, as requested.?

Righto Lemon the penulti postcard regarding my masseuse duties with the bonza bronzies cricketers from Oz.

Big Bruce has heard about your red frilly nighty and has gone awol to The Argy, yikes ????.

Says he's keen on a rendezzzvus with you in Marydols vacant boudoir.

And exactly who is going to be behind the bar, whilst you lot go off galivanting with that hussy Marydoll? And who is going to clean up afterwards? Hmmm?
Don't look at me to do it. I'm still out on parole and my ankle tag goes off if I'm not in bed by 10. on second thoughts, maybe I'd be better off with Marydoll

Strewth!

Oooh I’ve come over all of a quiver since eating that toadstool quiche, best wash it down with the cooking sherry and some gin. I nipped up the M6 today on the back of Big Boris’ bike to rescue all that gin that was lying about up there. I took the garden suction machine from round the back of the Argy, I think I managed to suck most of it up, but do watch out for any of the glass, think I managed to filter most of that out as I sieved it through Lemon’s red frilly nightie. Anyway I’ve bottled it now, I found a lot of empties outside the local hospital. Don’t know what they’d had in but they’re full of Jaded Gin now and behind the bar. They’ll go really well with Soop’s cakes or Lemon’s Toadstool Quiche.

Mind you, don’t know who’s serving tonight.

soop didn't get those toadstools for her quiche out of the cellar did she? The ones growing in black bin bags covered in horse poo? Those aren't toadstools, they're my magic mushrooms that I've been growing to sell on. No wonder you're all of a quiver maddyone; you'll be as high as a kite eating them!

Now, who's going to tell soop that she's been baking with illegal substances? Watch out for her brownies!

Chewbacca My toadstools would win first prize if only someone could live to tell the tale. Magic mushrooms grow in a corner of our garden shed. The shed has three bolts on the door. Wouldn't want to share them with any riff-raff. However, since you lot are easily pleased, I may cultivate a generous supply for the next quiche. A word of warning...you may need to lie down in a dark room for a few days in order to recover all your faculties.

That’s ok Soop as most of the Argy’s clientele had no faculties to speak of anyway.?
Our toadstools are legendary and the paying public can’t get enough of them, in quiche, chopped raw in salads, even grated into the poteen.The more the merrier.

Don't say we've few faculties out loud Lemon. I've nearly collected enough tips from my secret return visits to the Argy to fund my £10.00 conscription holiday visit to the colony with the Ozzie cricketers and as you as my guarantor I know I've every chance of good employment down under.

Maddyone and Chewy have been coaching me in the school of charm requirements to make a go of it as they both apparently speak fluent Oz.

As I'm shortly to bid 'tata' to Blighty can I have my farewell soirée in the Argy cellar? I'll bring the grub, there'll be plenty left from the final scrappy do at the Oval ... Cricketing salad butties, I think not, mostly some sparkly mushroom quiche perhaps? Just don't let Doodle man the karaoke machismo, you know what happened last time...(Jude, the slipped disc etc.....)

I’ve always been a fan of Crocodile Dundee, so have a soft spot for men from OZ ?

It’s cold today! I came out in my crop top and hotpants and need warming up ( where’s Thor?)
Get that coffee machine going somebody and heat up some haggis pasties.

Am now in my thermals ( thank you Damart!) with my black lacy dress over the top, and have lit a fire in the Argy Parlour Bar.The Captain and Big Jim are already installed in chairs next to it, with a pint of foaming poteen in hand, discusssing
‘Issues of the day’ ( hope they don’t come to blows!)

Foaming poteen ???? lemon you didn’t pour their drink in that glass that I’ve been keeping the fairy liquid in did you?
Oh well, at least their insides will be all nice and shiny now ?

Also lemon I don’t think wearing a black lacy dress over you thick red thermals gives quite the illusion you were looking for. It looks like you’re covered in a red rash.???

Doodle ? there was Fairy liquid in there? That explains a lot ( they didn’t seem bothered by it, though.)At least our pint glasses are clean.
Actually, I am covered in a red rash ( ferret fleas!) and my thermals are white.
I thought that they, and the thick black lace would cover it up but obviously not.?