Argy Bargy madness, come right in! ??

shoulder barges Doodle out if the way. Elbows Lemon in the ribs and thumps heavily on the bar

WHO'S SERVING IN HERE TONIGHT? grrrrrrrr ????

Right, that’s three lined up for you Chewy, have you had a hard day at the sewage works?

Sorry lemon if chewy’s had a hard day at the sewage works she needs more than three ?. Firstly (for the sake of the punters) chewy needs a ? and a good ??? to get rid of the ? and then a few ???????????? and then we’ll be ready for a ?

Yup. Been shovelling shit all day Lemon. Why is everybody moving to the other side of the room? The same thing happened on the bus home tonight. Can't understand it. I had a wash down at the weekend so it can't be BO. sniffs own armpits

Actually lemon are you quite sure that great big furry growling thing is chewy ? ??

Oh yes it is you chewy. ?. Nice of you to pop in.....do you think perhaps it might be an idea to leave your shovel outside rather than leaning on it in the bar. It’s not a problem really just that I’ve just swept the floor and now it’s covered in ? ? ?

Can't leave me shovel outside Doodle; it got nicked last time. It's fine propped against the bar. Don't worry, its perfectly clean. I've only been scraping fat bergs and crap off the walls of the sewers today; nothing dirty.

A good wholesome pong though, ain’t it? Reminds me of the time I once visited the countryside.There was this great big farmer, and a barn....it’s a long story, and a tragic one.?

I've brought some tomato plant seedlings in for you all. Found them growing on the floor at the bottom of the main sewer and thought they looked nice and healthy so I dug 'em up. We could pot them on and sell the tomatoes? Or pass them on to soop for her to make her haggis, neeps and sewertomato pie?

Good idea, am all for free grub when at all possible.I’ll get some pots from the kitchen and we can plant them up in all that soil stuck to your shovel Chewy.
Am thinking of changing my image, but what to wear? So much advice on what not to wear ( at our advanced age) it’s a bit bewildering.
No beige apparently, no glitter or bling, no fleeces, no old lady dresses etc etc it doesn’t leave much to actually choose from!
I may stick to my boob tube and cropped shorts, fish net tights and killer heels.?

I'm not giving up my uplift bra for anyone. I've paid umpteen centimes for it from Fifi the taxidermist who I saw asleep on the Argy sawdust pallet futon with Big Bruce.

lemon, I'm not wearing beige for anyone, not even for you as part of the new Argy cocktail waitress's uniform not in daylight hours anyway.

Carillion I tried on a "balcony bra" once-upon-a-time. My husband was duly impressed. I couldn't see my feet. The lady shop assistant stressed that I most certainly didn't need the garment. Husband was dismayed.

soop, I haven't been able to get the vision of a 'balcony bra' out of my head. Every time I've thought about it I couldn't stop laughing a great name...
Visions of one similar to Madonna's cone bra??? ????
Just perfect for The Argy, have to run this by Lemon.

I have visions of a balcony bra with Juliet in the cleavage and young Romeo underneath. Could be you and Thor lemon ?. Thor, Thor, wherefore art thou Thor.......under your right nipple lemon ....lots of shade down here ?

Aye, I’m a big lass Doodle ( as you realised when we had that fight on New Years Eve)?
Now, I’ve never had a balcony bra, but must have one....I feel a trip to M&S coming on.I fancy a purple one with red lacy trim.

NO lemon you can’t ?. There’s not enough room in the bar as it is and if you start swinging your “assets” around you’ll be knocking out half the punters. Put them away now and behave yourself. ?

Couldnt find my balcony bra anywhere, then I remembered it was being used as a double hay net for the undertakers horses!!!

Gracious GG I’m surprised you can stand upright ?

That’s not your knickers they are using as a hammock is it? ?

No, they’re mine!
And I want them back, pronto.
I have warned those undertakers before, not to hang about in the bar, their black suits and mournful expressions put the punters off their beer.

Not only that but those horses keep putting their heads through the kitchen window and chomping my herbs.
Next time, we must get a bar that isn’t next door on one side to an undertaker and on the other side a tattoo parlour, it lowers the tone.

Yours lemon?! Those bottle green flannel knickers with the specially reinforced gusset are yours! Well, I’m sure they’ll get Thor’s pulses racing ......snigger ?

They’re my Sunday best ones Doodle for churchgoing, I feel better sitting on a cold pew with a bit of flannel on my undercarriage.

You could try wearing a skirt or trousers over your knickers lemon then you wouldn’t feel so cold. ?

Tonight I'm wearing my yellow rubber over trousers. They're almost new and were issued by the sewage company for special occasions. I'm going to team that with my new from the flea market purple sequinned boob tube. I'll look a million dollars so budge over lemon, you've got competition.