Can anybody relate to this?

Jane you either haven't read my posts, or are determined to superimpose your excuses ill-fitting justifications on them regardless.....

By the way how have I "taught" the takers in life who are older than me and were dumping on people before I was born?

And why do you suggest I say Im ill just to get others to do their share.

They should do their share regardless.

And why is it my job (according to you) to "communicate" to others that they should pull their weight? That is a job in itself. And I don't want it. Ever hear of the "mental load"?

You say they're excuses I say they are explanations for how this situation arose. Your responses to my posts say a lot about you. I'm not surprised at what has happened.

I had been in this position for years, sadly it took a breakdown to teach and train me to be different.
One thing I have learnt is to never say the words ”I am sorry” when saying that you cannot do something, and not to try and justify why you can’t!
I still have situations where I take things on, but am more in control now, it is not easy.
It was always in my childhood and upbringing and got ingrained, this made me a vulnerable person pleaser.

Okay Jane, you just keep enjoying leaving everyone else to run around for you, because its their fault for "teaching" you to be that way....

To quote mumsnet angelic , "no" is a complete sentance, and if people still force the issue: "that's not going to work for me".

Sigh. notanan. Nobody run around for me. Anything needing to be done is done. We all do our bit in our family and no need to make an issue of it.
No martyrs here nor need for one.

I have usually organised many of the GN meetups in my town, but when I couldn't, or didn't want to, I said so clearly. Others have done it perfectly well. The most recent one was planned and executed by Jane10. She took it on without "leaving everyone else to run around for you" and did so fine without me stepping in after she had it all in hand and mopping up supposed omissions and mistakes, If she hadn't, I don't think I would have gone in and corrected her mistakes, she is a grown-up.

Don't beat her around the ears for stating the obvious - that you reap what you sow.

If you insist on redoing what others have tried to do, then it has become your project once again, and they are just your incompetent assistants. If you redo your children's homework instead of leaving it as their work they have only learnt that mother does it better, and if you don't allow others to take on some of your responsibilities and live with the failures they never gain the confidence and experience to do it better. That applies to people older than you as well as younger - they don't have to be totally dependent on your perfection unless you insist on applying it.

Let's face it, being indispensible is a highly satisfying sensation.

Delegation is a hard thing to do well!
It involves trust and respect. It means leaving your ideas elsewhere and accepting that different is not wrong!

It is not my job to teach other adults how to be adults.

I am not going to micro manage them or as Jane suggested, coach/teach them! They are perfectly capable! They just dont!, however I am also not happy to have my kids never know their cousins just because the other parties never arrange get togethers, or have my colleage who always helped arrange leaver cards leave without a card herself, or have an elderly relative targeted by scams by not being there when others arent.

Those are things I am not going to leave un-done because I have a conscience! I will wait hopefully for others to take the lead, but when it is apparent they WON'T, someone has to..

And in your case always will. Enjoy the moral high ground. A lonely place.
Burns said it all 'oh wad the Lord the gift gie us to see oorsels as ithers see us'!