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Retired husband blues

(31 Posts)
Murky Wed 05-Feb-20 18:18:28

Husband absolutely refuses to do any activity without me. He hasn't any friends and very few hobbies. He bought a set of golf clubs, which sits unused. The only way I get any alone time is to scream at him to get out of the house. He absolutely refuses to recognize that I need space. He has gone from being a husband to being a needy clingy toddler. He is on antidepressants and antianxiety meds. God help me!

Hetty58 Thu 06-Feb-20 09:31:27

I think a rescue dog would be a good idea. He'd have to walk it twice daily and he could focus his attention on it - rather than you!

Oopsadaisy3 Thu 06-Feb-20 10:15:59

Poor chap, it sounds as though he was looking forward to his retirement and spending more time with you and you can’t stand having him around!

Hes obviously unwell and a bit like a lot of men who work hasn’t had the time to build up friendships outside of the workplace.

maybe he needs a change of Meds? And a bit of sympathy?

Callistemon Thu 06-Feb-20 10:39:13

As more emerges of this saga, I'm beginning to feel rather sorry for him. Many men are lost when they retire and feel they have no purpose in life, they need encouragement to find new activities.

You screaming at him to get out of the house in the middle of the winter because you need your space doesn't sound very kind or helpful, particularly as he is on medication for anxiety and depression.
It's his house too, presumably . Why don't you find more activities outside the home and leave him indoors if that is what he wants? He may soon get bored and think that golf was a good idea after all when the spring comes.

Murky Thu 06-Feb-20 12:37:23

We live in the US, and winter in Florida. So him getting out of the home is actually quite pleasant. There are many women I know who have active, independent retired husbands. They are members of civic organizations and like to play golf, pickleball, etc. In other words, they are with other men. Even if he doesn't want to participate in this way, he could at least go somewhere one day a week. There's always the library, a park, etc. He has his own time alone when I am gone doing things, so it's only fair.

Murky Thu 06-Feb-20 12:43:52

When we get home again, I plan on finding a therapist. This is more than I can handle by myself. Cocooning yourself away from society is abnormal behavior. He used to be so alpha, which is what attracted me to him in the first place.