Immortal

This thread has really made me laugh out loud! Thank you for all the funny stories. ?

Sarahellenwhitney there does not seem to be any age limitation for body doners here. Mum is almost 98 and had confirmation late last year that they would still accept her body. There are, however, various conditions that need to be met. One of which is that you must be within a specific distance from the University.

Once was asked if I would like a stylish new kitchen. I would love one I said but you will have to check with the landlady first. He asked for her address and I said Her Majesty the Queen, Buckingham Palace, London. We lived in a RAF married quarter.

When our granddaughter was two I'd give her the phone and she'd say, "Sorry, busy now, bye", then put the phone down.

My son was here one day when I received a a cold call and I said Something that I thought was clever..........
My son put me in my place ..... he pointed out how demoralizing a job it must be and would it not be kinder to simply ask the caller to remove me from the list as I was not interested! I have done this since but in truth it’s been a very long time now since I’ve been called.

Dogsmother
I agree with you son on this.

That's the reason I'm never rude to such callers. But stringing them a story is a totally different matter. Makes the call more interesting for both of us

I strung a woman cold caller along for several minutes - until she swore at me for wasting her time!

I realised that she was probably only trying to make a living and might not even know that what she was doing was a scam.

So now I listen briefly to see if the call is genuine and, if not, either just hang up or say 'not interested, thank you'. It's not as much fun as all the suggestions above, though.

Ha ha ha ha ha :-) brilliant! When Jehovah's Witnesses knock on my door I tell them either: I am a communist, I don't believe in god - which leaves them flummoxed - or, when I meet god I am going to punch him in the face for being so utterly cruel and useless. How dare he let the world get in such a state?? They beat a hasty retreat down my long garden path.

What a fantastic conversation, Vampirequeen.
When I have been told to turn on my computer and open windows, I say ‘Hold on a minute because I’ve got to find the key to unlock my window’. They usually give up on this stupid old lady.

Funny replies but I can’t be bothered. I just say no thank you straight away and hang up. I haven’t been rude to someone doing an awful job but I haven’t wasted my time either

I have tried just about every ruse I can think of and yet they still keep coming back for more.
I vary my answers but my favourite is "hold the line caller, I am putting you through to our fraud department".

When a guy rang me about the ‘traffic accident’ I had had after telling him, thank you but I haven’t had an accident, he then insisted I had, so I told him I was worried about the accident that’s he’d recently had, he assured me that he hadn’t had an accident, I insisted that he had and he again insisted he hadn’t so I told him I was so happy that neither of us had had an accident and hung up It was funnier than it sounds at the time

It seems to me that there is a difference between not being rude to people doing a proper sales job (although they still shouldn't phone you if you have opted out) and being as rude or silly as you like to people like the Windows ones who are obviously trying to scam you. I think that they are fair game, and I love some of these suggestions!

I had a call from an Insurance company yesterday. I handed the phone over to my 16month old grandson. He babbled away on the phone while the insurance chap kept saying "pardon, pardon ". I sat laughing .

I speak Dutch to them.

Thanks for the laughs!

We get very few cold calls now, and I have to admit that much as I’d like to string them along, nowadays I just say, sorry, I’m not interested and put the phone down.

A dd when a student once had a holiday job in a call centre, cold calling businesses.
She only lasted about 10 days - as she said, it’s not much fun being told to f*ck off all day long. So I do feel for them - up to a point!

I feel so sorry for people who have to work in these call centres. Horrible job,and lousy pay. Cannot see what is funny about winding them up even further. Just say, No Thanks and put the phone down.

Was it on Gransnet that I heard about someone receiving a cold call about a car accident. It went something like this:

'I'm ringing about the motor accident you had recently'.

'Oh right'

'You can make a claim'

'Really?'

'What were your injuries?'

'I was decapitated'.

End of conversation.

Best one is the "our records show you've been in an accident that wasn't your fault"....to which my husband replies:
"Which one?"....
"The one that wasn't your fault"...
"I've had several lately that weren't my fault. Which one are you referring to?
Line goes dead...

My mother, who was 99 at the time, often had such calls. She usually politely said she wasn't interested and hung up. Once when I was there, she said "Just a moment, I'll pass you over to someone who understands you better". I took the phone and the young chap said "Is that Mrs xxx?". I just said "No, I'm her daughter." He said "Now you're confusing me" and hung up!

i always say .it will be your funeral next if you dont stop calling me.

good one .i was decapitated

the mess in the world is MANMADE .not gods.

Which 'gods'?