No DiLs - thank goodness!

Just a short post, I have both a lovely MiL and a lovely DiL.

Thanks Maw ?, I’m flattered !

I am blessed with a daughter in law that I love as much as my own children. She is a wonderful Mummy to my Grandaughter and I am close friends with her parents who I didn't know before my son met her. We have very similar family values and respect each other's opinions but of course don't agree on absolutely everything !!

I have 2 DIL that are as different as day and night. The one is aloof and can be very rude. I try to accept her as she is, but have been hurt by her over and over. The 2nd DIL is warm and sweet. It is a constant struggle inside to not show favoritism.

Having only one heterosexual daughter I don't have dil problems. Nor do I have sil problems. He is firmly HER problem. I don't interact with him at all. He is a vile man. Her choice.
Now he realises (after several attempts) that he cannot ever control me (sadly he controls my daughter) I don't hear from him.
My daughter knows my feelings, I will support her if she leaves, but after several years of this bullshit I am bored of listening to it. Sad, even worse for my grandkids ?

I have 2 lovely DiLs. Both great mothers & I am very fond of them both.
My own MiL was very sweet although coming from a very different background to me- we got on fine- once I had mastered understanding her lovely Irish accent anyway! I was totally lost for the first few months!

I have the most amazing daughter in law and feel that late in life I have acquired a daughter. So blessed.

I have three lovely DiLs who also get on well with each other. It might help that my DS also have a very good relationship. They are all scattered across different corners of the globe, which might also help. Familiarity might otherwise breed contempt but somehow I doubt it.

I appreciate that we are very lucky in this.

Some in laws consciously or unconsciously appear to undermine their children in the way their grandchildren are brought up and I do think the worst culprits are paternal grandmothers, particularly if they have had a close relationship with their son (Jealousy?). My daughter has an ongoing battle with her mil over the fact that her eldest son struggles with his weight and will eat for England if not controlled. His grandma buys in large boxes of biscuits and sweets which the boys are able to help themselves to with no restraint and meals are pizzas and burgers. My grandson at 13 is deemed obese but last year my daughter managed to reduce his weight by 1 stone over a period of 6 months due to being firm, careful monitoring and healthy eating only for him to go and stay with his father and grandmother for a fortnight and return having put on all the weight he had lost and with a carrier bag full of multipack biscuits, chocolate and sweets! Daughter then has to be the nasty mum who takes them off him.

I have two DiL's - one is amazing and the other one, 'not-quite-the-same'!

Eldest son's wife has 'dragged him down' with her aggressive attitudes to almost everything in life, is a raving hypochondriac and can't hold down a job for more than a couple of months before going 'off-sick' or arguing with other work colleagues.

Younger son's wife has been 'the making of him'. She got him to consider the consequences of his actions - to stop him from 'going off the rails' at the age of 18 - and they are the most wonderful parents to their three sons. Her own mother died when she was a small baby and we are so very close.

I only have the one daughter,so I don't have any DIL. But believe me,sons-in-law can be just as bad. I have tried,I really have,but it has reached the stage now,after nearly 17 years and many unpleasant arguments,where we just 'tolerate' each other. Even my Dd admits now,that the problem is mainly him. From the word go,he resented me,didn't like the fact that Dd and I had a close relationship and just could not accept that he was the only important person in his life.
I have as little to do with him as possible nowadays. I feel so much happier for it too.