Do we mollycoddle our children today?

I also remember that we didnt want the responsibility of minding the babies, and would try to object.

It led to some sibling resentment, there were more than a few unhappy oldest girls who were expected to be mini mums!

I know I still step in too much - my children are adults but still I am there with money to help out and wanting to fix things. I think in the past there was far more the idea that once you were grown, you looked after yourself. Saved for what you wanted, sorted out your own affairs far more than now when parents (me included) can't seem to let them go and deal with things themselves

Good point Pollyj - me too! I wonder IF it’s because WE struggled we want our children (and grandchildren) to have an easier time of it? Scrimping to save isn’t nice (or easy) I recall. Yes, I get the sense of achievement from doing so, but still.
?

I had my own front door key from primary school. I stayed for school dinners. My job was to 'set' the fire ready for lighting, saturdays was scrubbing front step & helping mum with big wash after stripping beds, polishing sideboard & bannisters, kitchen floor etc. Sundays was baking and walking across park by myself to take a fresh apple pie every Sunday to gf. I was sent on errands by myself to butchers (taught young to choose the meat for sundays roast) went on bus to town to library and took myself to hospital for ongoing ear treatment plus local clinic for exercises for bad flat feet & weak ankles. Neighbours were allowed to collar you too to run errands for them with the money wrapped up in the list. Back then everyone knew the price of everything. If you saw the doctor make a housecall mum would knock to see if they needed a prescription bringing & off I'd be despatched again. I didn't mind, it was just normal. But I knew if there was a problem when mum wasn't home I could go to any one of those houses & be welcome. I have noticed my grandsons can't even make themselves a sandwich & don't lift a finger to muck in with any household chores, even with duvets making life simpler.

I dont think freedom is the right word as we had no choice in the matter. No say.
We were unsupervised a lot whether we liked it or not. And we didnt always like it.

I agree PollyJ, i think we were all a bit more 'self-sufficient' back then,i was more spoiled(a bit) than my brother& sister i guess as i was the 'baby' of the family,they were 8& 11 years older than me,and in most ways it was like being an only child once they left school,but i always said to my kids "youve all had your turn at being the baby"- and i think even my older kids did more for the younger ones,so learnt good skills,but my 2 youngest,definitely not,as we've ALL spoiled them both

I think it depends as well where you came agewise in the family. The younger ones were more care free than the older ones who were always being charged with them

I was better off than some as my mum was a stay at home mum as they are now called,my dad had good job as a driver,so she didnt need to go out to work.

Aw c’mon Seefah. - share you secret! You’ve piqued my interest now. How did you ‘keep a close eye’ on them?

I have observed that today’s children often don’t have pocket money and have no concept of how to buy things.
They never go anywhere on there own . Don’t understand how buses and trains work not to mention a telephone box or land line.
The problem is their parents are scared to allow any independent action . Playing in a local park never happens!
Part of the problem is we don’t live in local communities or talk to our neighbours.

At 11 I had to walk through a wood to get to senior school. Longer way was half hour walk to the bus stop to get bus. If I had enough pocket money left I would get a bus to Sidcup and then one to Chislehurst. Three possible ways. The wood was scary sometimes but it was the quickest....a 45 minute walk half in the wood. Parents would not let children do tgat now.

Its right i guess,as even my older AC ring me for advice,or a loan if they need it,(not often) or to make 'suggestions' or generally 'fix things' (more the daughters!) But yes of course i help if i can so its just the way it is i suppose

Work out of home mums are put on a pedestal on GN but my aunt worked out of the home and had less time for her kids than the working mums! We had to be CONSTANTLY outside as she had a constant stream of seamstress appointments and ironing to collect/deliver. The house was a no-kid zone.
(She was a lovely woman just poor and had to take on a lot)

A lot of the time when we were outside we just wanted to be allowed in

I had a childhood similar to a lot here. Out after school until bedtime playing in the park, woods and climbing the local pit bing and sliding down it. All with friends same age. At weekends and school holidays swimming costume on, knickers wrapped in a towel with a bottle of sckoosh for sharing and if lucky a cheese sandwich, usually a couple of rich tea biscuits. Walk of one and a half miles to beach, spend the day there with friends all about 7/8 then. Back home for tea. No adult supervision, no swimming lessons, no sun protection. Did I feel scared, no, it was normal. I now live in an area with 100 houses divided into 5 streets. Children used to walk to a B road about 1/4 a mile for school buses. That was stopped and now busses come into the area, making awkward reverse turns to get out. The buses have to run to very strict times as no room for two busses in the roads at a time. Why the change? A parent complained the childrens got wet if it was raining walking to end of the road. The Council agreed to it as it didn't cost any more and they wanted to be "helpful". I have heard of a parent complaining when the communal grass is cut, that their child brings grass cutting in to the house! No mention of telling him to walk on the pavement from the bus stop or to take his shoes off before walking through the house. We don't just have a new generation of smothered children, there is one already the 30/40 year olds we reared. Imagine grass on shoes.

At the age of 11 onwards I had to cycle for three miles to the school bus stop in all weathers, and then 14 mile bus journey to school. I was nearly accosted a couple of times. I remember being ill and on my own, told to stay in bed. I didn't feel neglected but I was way down in the pecking order, as Dad came first, then Mum and then us kids. Times have changed.

In one word... yes, I will be 70 in a few weeks and I remember starting work at 15 in Bond Street in London, I lived in the east end of London so I had to catch a bus to the tube station and change tube lines to get to Green Park station, in total my journey took an hour and a half there and back, I would leave home at 7.30am and arrive home after work at 7pm. And for a time I also had two training evenings when I didn’t get home till 9pm!! Plus I worked a half day on Saturday too.
Can’t imagine my Grandchildren being allowed to do this and there would be uproar if they were expected to.
My own two Daughters were not mollycoddled, no mobile phones for them and they did what teenagers used to do, both have grown up confident and I feel quite balanced.
I sometimes wonder about the outcome of my Grandchildren they range in age from 26 to 5 years. ?

Ironically "childminding" was one of her work from home jobs. So there was always lots of us.
"Childminding" back then meant letting us indoors for a meal, then shooed back out again
Funny looking back but Im glad I didnt have to leave my kids at old style childminders

This is a great thread. Mum came with to school on the first day, aged 5, and that was it. We came from Germany when I was nearly 6 and went to Blackpool to live for a few weeks. The first day there mum took me to the bus stop, told me to get on the bus with the other children and go into school with them. Find the head teacher and tell her I am a new girl. Given bus fare, dinner money and my address of where we staying was written on a scrap of paper.

I was often out all day with friends, playing in the river, cycling with no helmets and just doing stuff. Also mum and dad went out at night and I as the eldest, aged 10, babysat for the other 3 and often on call for the neighbours children.

What did all this do for me? It gave me self confidence and the ability to walk into a roomful of strangers for a social event on my own. To be able to go out and socialise on my own, have an interview without stress.

Children these days are taken everywhere, wear helmets when on scooters (but not on climbing frames.... why) and are not allowed to become street wise.

Until I was six years old my mother would take me to school. This stopped when mother started work and meant with both parents working mother would leave a key in our garden shed so I could let myself into the house when I came home from school. The world following ww11 was a much safer place to be than it is now and I would never let any child in todays world do what I had to do all those years ago.

Looking at these posts i think it must have been the thing back then for a parent to take you to a place once,and expect you to remember where you were going!??- My youngest started going school& back on his own late in year 5 (he was just 10) as i had had a foot operation.but we live 3minutes from the school.his brother had moved up to high school by then& got bus.so he took himself after that.& joined his brother on bus when he went to high school.But he seems to have got worse as hes got older as shop is near his old primary school but he wont even go to it!

What did all this do for me? It gave me self confidence and the ability to walk into a roomful of strangers for a social event on my own. To be able to go out and socialise on my own, have an interview without stress.

I think thats you rather than a product of the time. Plenty of my generation are crippled by anxiety/shyness/loneliness

Children these days are taken everywhere, wear helmets when on scooters (but not on climbing frames.... why) and are not allowed to become street wise.

I would argue that we werent given any tools to be streetwise. It was sink or swim. Some sunk.

Like what I was saying about minding babies without any clue what we were doing. It wasnt fair.

I used to get up, organise my two younger brothers; set and light the fire on the range. then we prepared a full scale bacon, sausage, eggs, fried bread Sunday breakfast. Brothers were four and six.

Nowadays the GCs don't 'play out'. I thought it was every kid's right to play out in their neighbourhood. Much less prepare and light a fire and cook breakfast.

Forgot to say, I was eight.

My oldest AC,is almost 40,she wasnt 'smothered' as she helped out with her younger siblings,but she has treated her own kids according to how much 'coddling' they need i think,except the youngest now 6 ( born many yrs after other 2)she tries to mollycoddle her more than my GD wants i think,so its a real battle of wills

Yes i think its dependant what sort of person you are,im a 'glass half full' kind of person.