Do we mollycoddle our children today?

I think what I find most distasteful looking back is that whatever happened to you when you were out unsupervised for, was your fault!

This wasnt down to individual parents it was universal among friends/neighbours that kids were afraid to tell their parents if theu got hurt/upset/creeped out by a dirty old man, as they would get in trouble for it. We got im trouble for coming home early. We got in trouble for coming home hurt. We got in trouble if the babies got hurt so didnt tell if they took a tumble.

There was a sad comeradery amongst the kids where we didnt tell about when things went wrong
My parents werent as bad as others on this but I still remember getting into trouble at 5ish cause a toddler got soaked through in a puddle!

Oh this subject interests me so much because it’s my view that we are the last generation to have had a proper childhood.

My grandparents, parents and I all played outside unsupervised, often out for the whole day in the school holidays!

My children had a certain amount of independence, but I did need to know where they were, and what time they were to come home.

I look back with such fondness of my carefree childhood, walking, cycling miles, and yes I too caught the bus alone to get to Grammar school.

I feel quite sad that children today spend so much time in their rooms staring at some screen or other, or out but accompanied by a parent.

Is the world really so much more dangerous or is it just that we hear more about the dangers?

I need to start training the youngest now to stand on his own 2feet his older brother (21) has gained confidence in leaps& bounds since first getting a (motor) scooter at 16 then getting a full driving licence& a car at 19..so still plenty time to make the youngest grow up.

I was looking after my 4 nephews after school for 2 hours from aged 11. All very young and little s@ds too! We survived but looking back it was a huge responsibility.

I think peer pressure and all the information they are bombarded with makes for a safety conscious generation, just glad my children are grown up and I dont have to make decisions for my grandchildren - just know how to keep my silence

#1 daughter flew to France alone, aged 12, to visit family and had to change from airport to station in Paris. On the return flight all the luggage of the flight was mislaid and we were waiting for the passengers to come out of immigration and they were late, then daughter came through. She had been organising for EVERYONE'S luggage to be sent home to them. She is still very bossy

I walked to school alone, went to the shops and played out from an early age, with older kids, as did many here. But the situation with grandchildren and probably others in their generation is a little more complicated. Grandson was spending half the week with mum and half with dad in a different flat, Mum and dad had separated. Both worked and at nursery and primary school we had a rota of grandparents or mum if off to collect him and take him to where ever that day. He's almost 13 now and has gone to secondary school alone on tube and bus or walk and bus for 3 years, since starting secondary school, and from the top of primary school. But his little sister, now 4, had to be collected from the teacher at nursery and now reception class. I think they insist on that until the top 2 classes at primary school.

Maybe we just hear of 'bad things' more and kids do too,via internet,even if its just news online,i think it frightens them more to even go out& try things,but also it IS a worse place,in some ways yes,as when we were young,out with friends at 16,17,18,most that usually may happen is the boys might have a 'punch up' over something,but now,they get in arguments or look wrong way at someone and they risk getting stabbed! Or shot! Its not worth the risk of the young adults going out these days,(or maybe thats how they see it?) so they stay in.

Many people of our generation were neglected, abused and traumatised. And still suffering from that. These days young kids are taught self defence and good boundaries around their bodies as well as being allowed to express their feelings, needs etc. It does sometimes seem a bit excessive but they will ultimately be better adjusted adults I’m sure. Yes all play is supervised by parents. They are keeping the kids safe. Sad in many ways but also better I feel.

And yes,i still worry every time my 21yr old goes out on the roads even though hes a very good safety- conscious driver! (Especially was worried when he had the scooter!) He keeps saying he'd like a full motorcycle licence next,hes giving me nightmares i tell him to be careful every time he leaves the house,its become a standing joke now

I do wonder if the fact that we began work at a young age ment that childhood was brief. I am 74 and of a generation that left school at 14 most on to apprentice places or college or into work. The childhood years were gone all too swiftly and lived in expectation of the adult world looming large.

The council moved us when I was 9 so I caught the bus on my own to continue at my old primary school as we were then out of catchment area. There wee several big roads to cross with no crossing warden. Occasionally, I'd walk back if I wanted to save the bus fare- a couple of mile, I guess.

I played out all day in the holidays too as mum just wanted to get on with the housework. I never saw or experienced anything bad and I didn't live in a the best of areas, but I knew I could call on a neighbour if I needed help if my parents weren't there.

I don't think our parents neglected us, I just think the expectation of sensible behaviour was higher. I see less sensible behaviour now because children are not allowed to make mistakes or do anything by themselves without adult supervision. I have grown up to be independent and sensible.

Like others here, I had a lot of freedom as a child to be with other children, playing out on the street, going into town, into the country, going to parks, the sea, swimming pools. At quite a young age my friend and I went youth hosteling in the Highlands of Scotland on our own, walking from hostel to hostel. I don’t think we could have been more than thirteen. I feel very sorry for children nowadays who are always supervised by adults. What sort of life is that? I feel sorry that some people here felt neglected and possibly were. But it was common practice even in families with nurturing, caring, stay-at-home mothers like my own. Domestic work in the home was demanding. The idea that mothers would have the time or inclination to play with or entertain their children for any length of time would have seemed bizarre. There was a wonderful child’s world and culture where games and street songs were passed on from child to child from generation to generation. All gone now. Yes, there was risk. But statically it was quite small and is probably constant and no less now, just takes other forms. I remember us children as a group defending ourselves from iffy men. Also any adult would step in for any child. I suppose now an unsupervised child on their own would be more at risk because so unusual.

Yes i think maybe i was more molly coddled than some were in those days, my mum stayed at home so i didnt have to 'see to myself' in regards of being looked after,or fed or anything,and did take me to primary school& back till i was about 9,unless i came home soon with neighbours kids,and i played out with the neighbours kids so i wasn't out alone(there were a few of them) & all the neighbourhood knew each other back then so when we played we'd be in avenue mostly so everyone's mum had an eye on you. & it wasnt till we were 12/13 that we went out carol singing together (but went quite far out doing it though,)and trick or treating,or went to town at 13/14 a couple of us friends or a few together.so maybe i led a sheltered life more than some.

I think children today are a bit mollycoddled but are also supervised more strictly. I agree this is because times seem to have changed, people are more aware of more widely publicised dangers and therefore do not allow their children the same freedoms and risks we had as children. Like many of you, my sister & I were often left at home with instructions. I was taken to infant school and collected on my first day then was expected to do the trip alone, until a couple of years later when I had to take aforementioned sister with me. My grammar school was 3, nearly 4 miles away, and I would walk both ways with bags full of books, sports equipment, musical instruments etc. We used to spend summers in the parks, the woods, the open air swimming pool, given bus fare if mum had it but usually having to walk. We were given the standard 'don't talk to strangers or accept lifts' lecture every now and then but most of the time would be packed off with a quick 'you know what to do' or ' be back by X time' or 'there's X in the fridge/cupboard for dinner' (admittedly sometimes we would only have to start preparing dinner, like picking salad from the garden or peeling veg). While I have vague memories of a few dicey moments or potentially dodgy situations for the most part I think it helped me to develop into an independent woman. With all the dubious characters that seem to inhabit today's world I can't blame parents for wanting to keep tighter reins on their children.

A lot of these were the same as my childhood.

It makes me wonder what the mothers were doing all day. They were not on social media or watching daytime TV. I realise washing would take longer than now and no dishwashers, but all day every day without an outside job and children looking after them selves what were these women doing?

I think mommawolf is right,my mum said she left school at 14& went to work,so then it was seen as an age to be a young adult i suppose,even when i left school we were all 15/16- nowadays theyre expected even by government to stay in education as long as possible so they're not really seen as 'adults' till much older,its like they've an 'extended' childhood.and i guess as parents or grandparents thats how we treat them too

I remember my mum took a job,alongside my older sister at a local small sweet confectioners,once i was at school about a year,but she did part time i think,or i went next door to be looked after if she worked over,and holidays she took me with her, that would never be allowed now of course,kids in the work place! (that was when she& my dad divorced& she needed the money)but when she remarried after awhile she stayed at home again.

Goodness where's the time go? Ive been reminiscing too long! Id best go do some 'mumsy' jobs

A huge number of our friends are Swiss : one is a primary school teacher for the 10 and 11 year olds. She calls these overbearing, over-protective parents "helicopter parents" because they always seem to be hovering over their children.

Can I just ask were you all good when you were left alone?because I know we weren't.

All these reminders of my own youth, passing my 11+ exam at just 9 years old, and doing the walk to my new school at aged 10, which took me from one end of a very large park in Salford right through to the other end. I did walk with one other girl but no adults and even in the winter when it was dark at 4, we were doing that journey. Life was different then though, we went to school with just a satchel and the books for the day in, and our gym kit lingered on our pegs for a whole term without being washed. Now (living in London), I wouldn't dream of expecting my grandchildren to do that - although they do both bike it to school - society has changed and so have schools - kids are carrying heavy loads and gym kits are added to by swimming gear and musical instruments. There are far more unsavoury people on the streets, much more traffic - yes, I think the world or at least our part of it is considerably more dangerous now for children than it ever was, sadly, and I'm glad kids do have mobile phones.

trisher
We would all nigh on kill each other and I used to go around the village in a gang even at 7 years old, stealing veg from the allotments and my parents would happily eat it!!

I walked to school on my own after the first week, not quite five. We had to cross the main road hat connected our town with a big city.
By the time I was seven I was going to the cinema on a Saturday morning, crossing the same busy trunk road to catch a bus.
My children went to school in the next city, they had to get a bus and train and travelled on their own from eleven years old. They coped and have became very independent, travelling all over the world from thirteen.
GC get transported everywhere by car and I fear they could not cross a road safely.

At the age of 3.5 l moved to a new house in a small close at the end of a lane with fields all around. This was the late 1960s. There was a group of children that l was allowed to play with and we played in the lane, field and barns. The "big girl" in the group was all of 7! There were a couple of disasters, such as when l fell into some stinging nettles and in a ditch, but this was quite normal for the time. My parents were strict and l assume it would have been limited time periods. My mother took me to school until l was seven and by the time l was eight l was catching the bus to the next village for my piano lessons. The one tragedy l do recall happened to the one family in the village who did mollycoddle their children, taking them to school until the age of eleven - very unusual then. The boy died suddenly of a brain haemorrhage at the age of fourteen.

I had to walk to primary school with my younger brother I was probably about 8, mum picked us up after school. It was probably about 1.1/2 -2 miles away, but felt further with little legs!
Far more freedom in those days, don't know if they were any safer, but I think we had more confidence & common sense..
Definitely healthier as I was always out & about. Was told not to talk to strangers and if anyone was to touch me, kick them between their legs and run, as long as I arrived home in time for tea all was well!!! The good old days..