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can i get a divorce over a lettuce (lighthearted)

(51 Posts)
petunia Wed 11-Mar-20 11:33:36

Oh and I agreed some years ago that the amount of money we spent on food shopping was outrageous and the subsequent waste was not acceptable. So we overhauled our shopping habits. Making a list, checking the cupboards before we left to shop, using leftovers, planning meals, all the good stuff. The amount of money and waste saved was amazing. Great, we were both on board.

Fast forward a number of years to retirement.

Today we have a food shop coming mid-afternoon. Cue OH scanning the fridge for something for lunch. He decides that he just must have a particular lettuce. He just cant have lunch today without his lettuce. So into the car he gets and drive the mile and a half to the local shop and comes back with a pack of lettuce plus a number of other items(all of which will turn up in the shopping this afternoon).

So now we have double salad in the fridge by tea time, most of which he just wont fancy and will end up wasted.

Would divorce be in order here??

Oopsadaisy3 Wed 11-Mar-20 11:41:16

Whether or not he fancies it, he should be made to eat it. All of it.

Definitely grounds for divorce!

Squiffy Wed 11-Mar-20 11:42:56

Sorry Petunia, no advice - my DH is his twin brother! It's always perishable stuff that ends up double, never long-term food . . .

Elegran Wed 11-Mar-20 11:44:30

Make him lettuce soup or cook it as a vegetable to go with whatever he is eating. Say you couldn't waste it, so it is to be eaten up pronto. Steamed lettuce is green, shapeless, and pretty boring, and lettuce soup is green, thin and tasteless. That should make him think twice before stocking up so much the next time.

MerylStreep Wed 11-Mar-20 11:54:25

Petunia
Divorce him!! I would bloody throttle him and bury him under the patio 😱
I view food waste as obscene😡

Nortsat46 Wed 11-Mar-20 12:03:50

We’ll surely he needs to have lettuce sandwiches every day, until it’s all eaten ...🥬🥬🥬 then you can think about divorce.

SueDonim Wed 11-Mar-20 12:34:24

I’d be spitting tacks, too! Put him under the patio, or better still, turn him into compost. grin

You can cook lettuce with peas, to make what we call ‘French peas’. Fry some diced onion or sliced spring onions in a little oil until soft. Add frozen peas and finely chopped lettuce and continue cooking until the lettuce & peas are done.

Callistemon Wed 11-Mar-20 12:41:05

I need some salad items, petunia - can I pop round and relieve you of them please?
At least it would save a divorce even if it might be a few hundred miles round trip!

Cue for a song:
Lettuce in the morning, lettuce in the evening, lettuce at supper time

TrendyNannie6 Wed 11-Mar-20 12:50:17

Oh yeh, divorce is on the cards, unreasonable behaviour Mr Petunia

SirChenjin Wed 11-Mar-20 12:54:59

Definitely divorce him - there’s no alternative.

Would he like some additional bread to go with his sandwich? We now have an entire utility room of bread and other bakery products that rivals Greggs thanks to DH’s ‘top up’ shop 3 hours before the Asda home delivery arrived angry

Callistemon Wed 11-Mar-20 13:05:15

DH just came home and I asked him if he'd thought to buy any tomatoes and other salad items.

No, of course not, I didn't ask him to and didn't give him a list.

Can we swap for a week or two please?

petunia Wed 11-Mar-20 13:23:02

Ha ha. I am not alone then?

I think shredded lettuce on his dinner is definitely in order.

What is it about retirement that changes our OH. Lunch can easily become a “special event” with specific ingredients purchased, much messing about preparing, stuff everywhere and loads of bits of food that linger in the fridge until they beg to be let out. But then expects us to eat a cooked dinner in the evening as well. It never used to be like this.

And our waistlines really cant cope with it. As for the bank balance-extra trips to the bakers, just nipping into the deli, just a few bits from the supermarket, our agreed budget is out of the window and half way down the street!

Scentia Wed 11-Mar-20 13:26:28

This is most definitely permission to buy yourself a Rabbit or Guinea Pig!!

timetogo2016 Wed 11-Mar-20 13:32:02

Cos it would be.

DanniRae Wed 11-Mar-20 14:19:35

My husband would never dream of going out especially for lettuce to have for his lunch. Mainly because if you can't fry it he isn't going to eat it. He's just had a burger in a bun but it could be a sausage/bacon/egg sandwich. I wouldn't mind but he is as slim as when I first met him........it's not fair is it?
BTW I have just had a banana sandwich ....... and a few biscuits!! blush

cavewoman Wed 11-Mar-20 14:26:00

He's a little gem isn't he?

sodapop Wed 11-Mar-20 16:38:06

gringrin cavewoman

Definitely unfair DanniRae and why is it that the weight just drops off my husband the minute he embarks on a diet, I have to keep going for months.

BradfordLass73 Wed 11-Mar-20 20:19:24

Is he Lettuce Prey?

Now if it were Spring Onions, I'd be calling my lawyer

HE loves Spring onions grin

EllanVannin Wed 11-Mar-20 20:26:57

Lettuce Pray grin Ahhhhh---men !

lemongrove Wed 11-Mar-20 20:33:46

Get a tortoise Petunia 😃
At least lettuce is cheap, my DH puts all sorts of things he fancies on the shopping list ( delivered) and then goes off the idea when the shopping arrives and is packed away.
Fortunately teenaged DGS hoovers up just about anything that is actually edible.

petunia Thu 12-Mar-20 06:57:56

Ha ha,Thanks gransnetters for your witty responses

I think if OH and I are to romaine together, I need to give him a rocket up the rear end.

Susan56 Thu 12-Mar-20 07:26:24

Petunia 🤣

Margs Thu 12-Mar-20 10:36:42

That's a big carbon footprint for a single lettuce.

Make him sit at the table until he's eaten the lot!

Kerenhappuch Thu 12-Mar-20 10:38:07

I decided a long time ago that my husband must be the original Jack out of Jack and the Beanstalk! His idea of food shopping is to buy a few exotic items that are on special offer, leaving the fridge and cupboards just as bare as before he shopped once they are used up. He works on the basis of 'What was in the fridge last time I looked', since when I have probably replenished the items in question. When the kids were at home, he always bought cheese when he was out, until we had almost a shelf full of the stuff, when I told him to stop!

Moggycuddler Thu 12-Mar-20 10:44:24

Yes. Tell him "Lettuce get a divorce". :-)