I don't know what to do...

One of Dad's good friends had a massive heart attack 2 weeks ago. He wants me to ring up and ask how he is. No Dad, they will not tell me anything as per Hospital Policy. He is now upset as they have been friends for over 40 years. I think his problem is that MayDay in Cornwall maybe cancelled ?

Cat amongst the pigeons time. Have you asked your dad whether he would like you to continue visiting albeit with the chance that you might inadvertantly pass the virus to him which might shorten his life? I know if I were older and frail and needed to make the choice between staying healthier but being very lonely and missing the company of loved ones, I would take the risk to carry on seeing them I am seriously worried about the mental health of a whole generation that might find themselves isolated, and some might be struggling enough already and choose not to 'carry on' Many people who have not yet given up the will to live could find themselves of the precipice, some will feel that death is preferable to the loneliness. Please would people ask their loved ones what risk level they would go to, dont assume or decide for them. That generation have been through so much in their lives, can they not make this decision?

So very sorry to read all these stories...very very difficult times for everyone, especially those working in the NHS or those who cannot visit elderly parents. I am on my own with no family and am 'only' 73 ...I sadly lost my husband as well as my only sibling last year, have no contact with my only daughter ...thank goodness for FB,,,although that won't help he elderly with dementia and no contact ...I love the story of the son who phoned his dad whilst sitting outside the window !! wonderful ….I wonder if someone au fait with computers could set up a skype call with relatives for the elderly ? would probably have to be something simple but I am sure maybe a local college teaching IT might be able to help ….if the young person could set up a system remotely and talk it through with a relative or carer ?

It is going to be incredibly difficult. I live 330 miles away from my lovely Mum. She is 94 in April, just before the Queen's birthday. I will miss Mother's Day with her. We lost my Dad last year, he was 93 and and in a Dementia unit. It is hard for us. My Mum is not in good health. One son is getting married and the other is expecting their first baby this year. I worry about all of them.
My highlight of the week is looking after my two little grand-children on Mondays. The only thing that I am clinging onto is that this will all eventually pass and I am taking one day at a time.

Aww bless. We are in between a rock and a hard place. My family will go for walks together, and sit separately in the garden chatting. Just keep a distance xxx

Its horrible. DH has a colleague who has elderly parents who are basically approaching the end. She doesnt know wjether she and her kids should visit for what will probably be the last time or to go and possibly unknowingly carry the virus.

We also have yet to tell ds who has SN (and is also in the vulnerable group) that he cant go and see the grandparents as usual. I also dont know if they are computer savvy enough to set up skype or similar. (I suspect not - maybe dh can talk then through it)

It's all about balancing risks. No-one should be visiting old people unnecessarily (and we're all old people too!), in case they take the virus to someone whose immune system can't cope. On the other hand, if the old person needs care and you are the one who has to give it, there's very little choice. You just have to visit.

It's a very hard choice and I sympathise with anyone who has to make it.

My son in the Netherlands whatsapped this morning. His house tenant in the UK has stopped paying rent on her home here as he is self isolating. He can’t support a mortgage, his own rent abroad and his kids education at English international school. He is worried he will lose his job too. Last week he was very upbeat.

Very little fresh food available in our county and shortages of all the usual suspects. Some mothers are unable to buy formula and nappies. Only about half of my online shop turned up and none of the things I really needed.

Heartbroken we can no longer look after GD aged 18 months. She is the only one of 6 GC not living abroad and we’ve built a special relationship with her.

Today I just want to cry. But I know many, many others have huge problems and are unwell. The world as we know it seems have disappeared this week.

Feeling sad. Normally look after our two little grandsons three days a week but because we also look after my mum, 93 years old and living on her own, we can't risk catching the virus and not being around for her. So we have said goodbye to them and my daughter and her husband for at least three months! Devestated as the boys are not old enough to understand what's going on and why they're not seeing us. Feel we've abandoned them. Thank goodness we can see and talk to them on Whats App.

Very sad posts. I think the idea sitting outside on the phone is a good idea, I’m also like a poster said my dear Mam isn’t with me now I’d hate worrying about her and not been able to visit her, I took her flowers and a card to her grave earlier. I’m glad she is at peace

Tillybelle I do wonder if this has been in the country for longer although it probably wasn't here in November when I was ill. I did have a really bad cough which just wouldn't stop, my head was pounding and it began with a sore throat. It also went and then came back. All in all I was ill for three weeks. I really wish that was Covid19 as I could stop worrying, go out and maybe help others. Unfortuantely, there is no way of knowing.

tickingbird and tillybelle. I am interested in your posts as I also think I might have had the virus already, and I have heard others, on phone-ins etc, saying the same thing, and then usually being rubbished by doctors and academics! I stayed in an apart-hotel in Chinatown in Birmingham for a few days between 23 and 29 December. This was planned so that I could be near my family over Christmas without actually staying in their packed house! It worked really well and I enjoyed having my own space and going into the Chinese cafes and supermarkets. Back home on 3 Jan I suddenly felt really ill, feverish, very achey, exhausted and with a dreadful rasping and gasping-for-breath dry cough - something I never usually get. I wasn’t terribly ill and it only lasted a few days but it was a while before I felt really well again. I forgot about it fir a few weeks, but I’m now wondering if I had a mild version of the virus before it mutated and became much more serious in Wuhan/Hubei. I have heard medics suggesting that it had probably been round for a while in a milder form before it got severe enough for people to be tested and became so extremely infectious. Whatever it was I am not assuming that I am immune as it could have been a slightly different variant. Also there is some doubt about whether an attack gives immunity. Interesting anyway, there is still lots that isn’t known.

Thank you TLVgran48 and Elle for your replies. The advice is greatly appreciated and it helps to know that there are others struggling too. Thank goodness for Gransnet.

Why thank you Nannan2, I think that's the first time anyone has responded to me on GN. Quite made my day

My heart goes out to all of you who are having family difficulties because of the virus. At the moment we don’t even know, for sure, if it will prove to be any worse than the usual seasonal ‘flu. I hope that this proves to be the case, but there will be huge repercussions from the measures that are being taken.
I feel so sorry for my friend whose 96 year old father is in hospital, and likely to die at any time. He doesn’t have cv, just age-related problems, but she is not allowed to visit him. “I just want to be able to give him a hug, before it’s too late,” she tearfully told me.

Cornwallgal I was very upset this morning. Just yesterday my 22 month grandson called me ‘ganny’ during face time and it was so adorable ?, but who knows when I’ll get to cuddle him again. I pulled myself together eventually but all of this is horrible. Truly horrible.

Cathieb From what BJ said earlier there is a test in the pipeline that can detect antibodies. It can't come soon enough as then many people may find out that they've had it and hopefully now immune.

My younger sister should have retired by now but due to the changes to pension, is still working full time in a chemist, being verbally abused and on Saturday she was assaulted as someone couldn't get and paracetamol. I've told her they need to give her a risk assessment asap and get someone young on the front desk. It really isn't fair. She is a qualified dispenser, she'd be more use in the dispensary lab anyway. I realise people are frightened but I think 111 telling people to ask the pharmacist for the last 3 weeks was a huge mistake as people who were infectious all turned up in large numbers to a normally empty pharmacy.

I'm sorry for all you having to deal with your own new normals too. It's very difficult to feel positive but we all have to do what is right for our circumstances and loved ones health and wellbeing* all look after yourselves

*that doesn't include buying up ££££ worth of food and freezers etc It seems to have brought out the worst in some people.

I’ve been a lurker’ for a long time but feel the need to post to support Marydoll and all others who are taking care to follow sensible advice and to suggest that those who are cavalier with the safety of others should think again.

My heart goes out to you. I had a wobble yesterday and had an argument with my eighty year old mum who is always entertaining visitors and sees no reason to stop. My DH is over 70 and vulnerable and we are trying to isolate as much as possible. I feel alone and frightened. We didn’t panic buy so now we can’t get anything. I probably won’t see any of my Grandchildren this year. All we can do is take one day at a time and scream and cry when we need to.

Have you seen the video taken outside an Iceland store?
2 security guys, 1 shop manager and 1 police officer all outside the door during the elderly and vulnerable time slots, turning away anyone who is not over 65 and they have to show some sort of ID as proof.

police officer

Steady on Tuppence15
It's not the end of the world.
Scream and cry? That's a bit OTT.

Thank you Tillybelle for your kind response. (I’m new to posting on here!) I am feeling a bit brighter this evening after phone calls today with one of my best friends, my mum, my sister and both DS. I think I’ll be spending a lot of time on the phone for several weeks. And DS reassures me that we can Facetime!

tickingbird/and tillybelle i also believe this virus could have been around in December and January,
My daughter, had something like this for 6 weeks, all over Christmas, and into January,she was taking antibiotics, 3 separate lots, plus steroids and had a chest x ray which showed a shadow, which was thought to be pneumonia
My sister also had it, plus my niece and husband, although they don't live near us
Also looking at mumsnet the other day,people on there are also questioning it,
So many who had that before Christmas and into the new year
It does make you wonder, as it first was noticed on November 17th in China
I really do hope the chinese are stopped now from having these wet markets, the animals could have been suffering from any disease to start with, and of course not tested

Well GabriellaG54 you might think it’s over the top but my single parent daughter has just been told that as of Friday she no longer has a job. She is devastated and I’m too far away to help her. Perhaps I’m allowed to cry now?