How to meet men in real life?

Men always chat to me when I go swimming.

I met my present husband on "Plenty of Fish", after being widowed twice (I was 63). We met online in 2011 and married in 2014.
I think with all dating sites, there are going to be some people who misrepresent themselves, by using old photographs (both men and women) as well as those who are just looking for casual sex. After initial contact -we used Skype - so that you could see one another, and for those who have a tablet or laptop rather than a desktop or phone - it's possible to see at least a portion of the person's home. When restrictions are lifted, be mindful of your personal safety and don't meet someone you have not seen and spoken to in person. Make sure that someone else knows where you will be going and when you expect to return. Good Luck with your search!

ineedamum and anyone using dating sites, I suppose it's natural but the photographs people post are likely to be, "lies, all lies!" to quote Frau Farbissina (Austin Powers movie) so add bald head, beer gut and 25 years (and that's only the women!) ????

My husband died and I am not actually looking for anyone but I can see how lock down alone would get you to thinking that.
I have met men and been asked out a fair few times and its always been normal and natural and out of the blue. These are the way I seem to get men talking to me.

Volunteer, like you I work full time but I do a few volunteering roles in areas that I care about. I help clean up at a local park and do a bit of gardening I am into the environment and nature there are a lot of like-minded older men in these roles.
Once a month I volunteer at my local unban farm there are no end of friendly people coming and going, visitors , people buying eggs and such they become friends.
I also do volunteer in other caring roles and again there are always older men in these roles.
I do it to ease my anxiety and my grieve but I have met a lot of friends men included. ( I work in education so I do get free time in half terms and stuff but most people can give an hour a week )

Get a dog when My husband was dying and I was out walking the dog I was amazed at the amount of people that stopped and chatted not just men but it is a way to make friends. Sadly the dog died but I work too many hours now but animals are always to open a conversation.

Google local community groups in your area.

Be friendly and smile I find men quite often just chat to me and I have been asked out a few times because I probably look friendly and approachable. Also I am not always looking at a mobile phone, ditch the mobile when you are out so you can interact more.

Join a keep fit class for older people loads of older men
join these now, espeically dancing classes and water arerobics .
Join a book club my friend met her lovely husband this way.

Personally, I would look for friendship first and see what grows from there. As I said I am not looking for love and I get asked out a lot more than my friends who are, so I think there is a clue in there somewhere dont look, let it find you.

Of course it goes without saying you can only do these most of these things when lock down is over. Keep safe.

An old friend explained why she was single.......
The available were undesirable and the desirable were unavailable.....
I was lucky to find an available and desirable second husband through a paid for dating site. Keep trying and keep safe when you can meet with anyone when you are able to. Good luck.

I met my partner by joining a rambling club and a table tennis club.

Go to Ireland on holiday, when this is all over though of course.
I went with a friend who is divorced. I only went to keep her company as she had been ill. Honestly I could have got married several times if I hadn’t already been happily married.
Irish men are gorgeous and so friendly.

In saying that quite a number of men want older ladies .
Its hard to meet good reliable men as well as women ,but there are some out there just lonely as you.
Who knows were to find them...

I like meeting new people and making friends. I'm not interested in a 'special someone', anymore though.

I've found that volunteering, walking groups, FE or community classes, going for coffee or to watch a film alone - have all turned up interesting people. I met my last loved one at a bus stop!

My stepma met her second husband through the small ads of The Times. They were very happy.

A widow at work a few years ago told me she had given up because "all the widowers have their wives on a pedestal and all the divorcees want to moan about them!" Have to say I have given up. I was a family solicitor. I have a few male single friends but none that I would ever want to live with. Some of us just try to adjust to a new way of life. If you're no good at DIY then I'd say it's worth cultivating a few of those!!!

Yes I have a dog and it's a great intro - so easy to chat with people. Interesting though that whenever you talk to a man they start putting "we" into the conversation asap. I actually find it quite amusing!!

I think actively looking for someone is very hard these days. But I would (once lockdown has been lifted) join some groups where you share an interest. I believe (but haven't experienced) that U3A has people of a certain age with all different interests. I met my soul mate quite by accident. If you're interested, you can read my story on Amazon Kindle, or it's out in paperback next Wednesday. If you look for love, you won't find it. Love finds you, when you least expect it.

Hi ineedamum, I've sent you a PM

?A friend sent me this as a suggestion for a dating site ad...
Single man with toilet paper would like to meet single woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun ?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thank you for taking the time to write with your suggestions. You have given me food for thought.

ineedamum Go for it. I used a site called Ourtime it is for over 50s Rest assured not all men want a younger woman. We are three friends and two and half years ago Chris met a lovely man of 73(not together now) Angela at the same time and the same dating site met Paul, they are still together and he wants to marry her. He is a lovely intelligent man and have mutual interests. Me well joined the same site and met my soulmate three days before my membership ran out. I had only joined for a month, I think it was about £30. We are now living together and very very happy. Yes I did all the join group stuff, rambling group voluntered Meet ups friendship groups. Stay clear of the free site as there has been to many horror stories. Good Luck

gardenergran made me laugh. We have worked together, been retired together and been happily married for ever but I know exactly what you mean. putting it down to isolation!

I've been married 3 times, met my late DH through friends, love at first sight, completely unexpected, we were together 23 years married for almost 21 years. I miss him but 7 years as a widow I know I couldn't live with some-one again.

I love my own company but also enjoy the company of others, I have a male friend, we had a mutual friend & he saw me on facebook. We messaged each other, progressed to phone calls & last year (almost 3 years after first contact) we met on neutral ground. We hit it off immediately but romance is not on the cards as we live nearly 300 miles apart. We still message each other, speak on the phone most days & hopefully will meet up again when things return to some normality.

I have joined a couple of Meet Up groups, may decide to try U3A & there is an active social scene in my home Town for all ages. I was widowed at 57, I'm now 64. Tried the newspaper dating ads with some success when I was divorced before I met DH & male friend who I met before DH (we met on a train, started chatting, had a relationship long distance), still friends 30+ year later). He also became DH's friend I enjoy male company but have no desire to share a home with one, cat is enough for me. Good luck whatever you choose, for me it's my independence.

I used to say exactly the same. I wanted to meet a man and a friend of a friend introduced me to my present husband. Honestly, I wish someone had locked my in the cupboard that day! Today, I just cannot stand the sight of him and cannot wait for this virus lockdown to be over and I will be gone! The best word on the planet is FREEDOM and I want mine back! I am not speaking for everyone as I know some very happy couples, or are they? Living with a bloke is just not for me and I wished I had been born a lesbian. Sorry folks but that is how I feel right now. Good luck with your search but I think a puppy would be a better investment. Take care and stay safe and sane. x

whywhywhy that's sad.

My DM was widowed young (late 30s) and was often asked why she didn't marry again.

Her reply was that men her age wanted someone ten years younger than themselves, and not someone with 3 DC, and the men who were interested tended to be older widowers looking for someone to care for them in their old age!

She was occasionally lonely but had plenty of friends, family, a career and many interests. She lived by herself until she was 95.

That made me laugh out loud.Thanks

That comment was to GardnerGran.I am still chuckling at the image it conjures.

I'd be looking for a new job, or at least a move to a different department!
But would you really want to date someone that you work with anyway? I know someone is going to say "I met my OH at work and we've been married for 50+ years" but that is pretty rare. I have seen too many relationships break up really nastily - and more than one person losing their job as a result.
As others have said, there must be things that you like to do that will have social groups for them.
Whatever you do, please don't go in wearing your "I'm dateless and desperate" t shirt. Look at it as making friends first - the longest lasting relationships I know is because people actually like their OH and are friends as well as lovers.
Lastly, be careful of online agencies - many can be expensive - they advertise that they are free and charge for introductions which can not only be costly but very disappointing - trust me, I know and you really have no idea who you are talking to ! Just watch the programme Catfish on MTV to get an idea of the lengths that some people will go to !