Best way to react?

Why did he delete all your hard work!!?

The OP was asking for advice and, as with any problem that is posted on Gransnet - we only have one side of the story. Having said that, I think the OP was being very self-aware and honest in acknowledging that her feelings about this man's behaviour may be heightened because of her own background. However, she also says that there have been complaints from other people.

It hardly matters that it has been said this man appears to be a bully. There are no details which could possibly identify him. The OP will make up her own mind as to whether she feels she has grounds to complain about this man.

I think willa has also given some good advice in saying that counselling might help the OP to be more assertive in difficult situations.

He sounds like he has narcissistic tendencies and with them, you will never win. Everything they do is to gain narcissistic "supply"...they are like vampires and can suck the life blood from you. They target you because they recognise you as easy "supply" because of how your dad made you feel. The fact you say you walk on eggshells strongly suggests narcissistic behaviour. Narcissists never show true remorse or any accountability for their actions. Never. If they do, it is false and a means to an end.
Please find Melanie Tonia Evans online and on Facebook and watch some of her videos and read the transcripts - it will make so much sense to you then. She deals with all types, and whether your "narc" connection is with a parent, partner, at work or even narcissistic adult children. Just realise that the boss will NEVER change....the only thing you can change is how you deal with it. Good luck.

I used to experience similar situations, when I went into my boss, I remained calm and professional but in my head he was sitting behind his desk wearing a mankini.! I won in the end.

Gabrielle G54 you save stuff on your work email you never use your personal email.
I don't think we are here to be a jury just give advice on what we are given as we will never get the managers side.

I had a bullying manager before |I retired. I believe it was because she was jealous of the good comments which were made about the work I was doing. I know this sounds like boasting but I never boasted, just tried my best to do a good job. I do a small part time job now and I have a manager who is supportive, kind and really appreciates her staff. She never fails to thank us especially when she sees us going the extra mile. We work extra hard for her.

Thanks everybody for taking the time to post. Lots of resources and suggestions have been put forward which has been great. I'm trying to see it as an opportunity to deal with my "trigger" until I get another job. I suppose I'm trying to develop on a personal level.

Thanks again everybody

Good Luck with however you go forward.

I hope the ideas here will help you find a way through your current unhappy situation towards a happier you and a different/better job.

Until the better job I hope you have some techniques to help you stay safer and feel safer.