The Old Argy Bargy Bar.....a new lease of life!

Sadly old Yorkey couldn’t keep up with me, so he emigrated.....it was for the best.
Well, the bar looks great, I have even put a furry toy spider or two around the place to make Big Bruce feel at home,Oh yes, didn’t I tell you, he has come over here on a weeks visit.?
The barbecue is hot and ready for our steaks, and the beer is cold???
What do ya think of my outfit?

The karaoke machine is up and running too.I shall start with Waltzing Mathilda and then onto It’s Raining Men, my usual
Go to number.

G’day mate. Pass up me a cuppla tinnies and throw some streaks on the barbie for me. Let’s have some rock and roll.
Cor Yorkies Knob back again. Great. lemon stop trying to play Waltzing Matilda on the juke box or I’ll clobber you with my didgeridoo. ?

Well, hate to leave you when the night is still young, but Bruce and I are taking a tour round the docks, the big fella loves the sea and wants to see the ships, he will want to go aboard at some stage tonight, and wants to meet the Admiral.
You know that old sea dog, he will keep us in his cabin singing sea shanties and drinking until 3 in the morning.....don’t expect me in the bar too early tomorrow.

Is Bruce going to ‘go aboard’ before or after he meets the Admiral lemon ?
Don’t worry about the bar . callistemon is in charge of the barbie and carillion is supervising the band (well that’s what she calls it ?). I will keep my eye on the bar and the punters.
They’re a rowdy lot tonight. Some bloke keeps calling me Sheila. Dunno who he thinks I am ?

Moreton Bay bugs cooked and ready, come and try them.
Will slap the steaks on next, if someone can open me a tinnie, we're away!!

Auntie Edna sends her apologies btw. She said 'Sorry, possums, stuck in Melbourne but I'll catch you later XXXX'.

Oops, that Bundie Rum must be stronger than I thought ....

Well I’ll have a big steak please callistemon. I need the energy to cope with the bar tonight. Don’t know where all these punters came from but they like their beer. I’m rushed off my feet. Ok I’ll have some of your Morton Bay bugs.........er what are they and how many legs do they have?
Sorry about Auntie Edna I was looking forward to comparing fashion tips with her. ?

She let me borrow this dress, do you like it?
It's not my usual style, very glitzy.

Oh no, just spilt my rum all down the front, what a waste of rum.

Moreton Bay bugs are a kind of lobster, good done on the barbie, with a bottle of Sav Blanc to swig

Nice dress Callistemon but it would look better on me.

I'll have a steak please, as blue as you dare and a glass of grog.
Watch what you're doing with that didgeridoo Doodle. I've returned the middle stump, better put it somewhere safe, I wrested it from that hussy Carillion honestly butter wouldn't melt......
Great night possums, real classy joint - er talking of joints any of your special little cakes left Doodle?

nice dress Callistemon but it would look better on me

How very rude Lins!
I'll have you know that I take after my Auntie Edna in many ways (but not all) and this dress is a perfect fit on me. I also go to the same optician and have the spectacles to match.

Oh dear, I burnt your steak, what a pity.
Well, I did wander off and have a snooze in my swag under the coolabah tree and leave it cooking.
It's the last one, too.

Pheeeew! What a night!!
Has lemon been sighted since her stroll around the harbour last night??

Lins, my old partner in crime, you do look fetching in that dress but does Callistemon know you’ve chopped off that corky fringe to make it into a mini dress??

Doodle and soop I’m still hungry as a wombat, any grub going? ... need to get off to watch the footy this afto...

(So sorry...still speaking in Oztralian...getting carried away)...

dear Doodle and soop are you preparing any delish titbits? I’m as famished as a small squishy animal and will shortly be heading orff for some sport...?

Carillion My haggis, neeps and tatties are a disgrace. Forgot to set the timer on the cooker. Had a few jars with a fella wearing a big hat with corks bobbing about the brim and well, you know how time flies when you're having fun. Hence the tray of blackened to a crisp nibbles that I'm leaving on the bar. All donations to the Koala bear trust. Please be generous.

Hi carillion yes what a night (what I remember of it anyway)
I’ve got a bag of pork scratchings here and a few stale crisps will that keep you going till soop gets the haggis on to boil?
That was a really successful pub evening. What shall we do next week,
How about Spanish Friday. I can wear my flamenco dress and stomp about in my heels. ?

Doodle I shall look on Ebay for some castanets.

Ah, jeez, mate, is it footie this arvo?

Where's me fresh supply of tinnies?
Better get the ute out and go down the bottle shop.

I'll put them with that burnt steak, soop
Someone will eat them

(Writing in English now Callistemon)... I’m on my way to the off-licence to buy our Stingaroos, nicked the Argy Land Rover bone shaker but will be back before midnight ...

lemon will be back by then after her purloining of the local totty,

Doodle will be distracted fishing soop and Lins out of the cellar’s hydro pool so no-one will try to nick our golden grog ... (getting decent shoes back on...) ?? ??. ?? ... oops!!...

I will carry on eating soop's burnt offerings, washed down with a crisp little Sauvignon Blanc, a delightful combination.

We're out of the hydro pool now Carillion, been in it so long all me bits are wrinkly.
Tell me lemon will Big Bruce be like a boomerang and keep coming back???
A Spanish Friday sounds just the ticket Doodle, we'll have some classy grog like Sangria, you can put what you like in that cos no one will notice with all the oranges ?

You look like a prune, Lins1066
You need some fluid. Have a beer!

My boomerang won't come back. What am I doing wrong?

You have to throw it first callistemon you can’t just leave it somewhere and call it. I think you left it under Big Bruce’s bed. I saw it there when I was.......tidying up.?
lins how long were you in that hydro pool? I think you need ironing. ?
carillion be careful with the Argy Land Rover. It’s not been serviced ever for a while.
soop yes please and some fans to go with my costume.
lemon you’re not still with the old sea dog are you. ? come and help cleaning up.

Cor blimey! Or Cor Limey as Big Bruce says, what a night it was last night, only just got back here ( crumples into chair)
Get me a stiff one will ya? YES Doodle that means a whisky.
I told you Bruce wanted to go aboard didn’t I? Well,we did, and after that ( without telling us) and when we were very very drunk, the ship left port! The Admiral told us that we were bound for manoeuvres in the Med this morning.We left the ship at Marseilles and flew back late this afternoon.....and now my arms are very tired...boom boom!?

I hear that soop is a dab hand with an iron Doodle.
I'm off for a beer with Callistemon and some bloke with corks bobbing from his hat. I'll only stay for one though, I know my limits unlike the rest of the clientele in the Argy ?
A tout à l'heure as Carillion would say, that's see ya to the rest of us.

Hmm bunking off the clearing up again lemon?
Well I’ve tidied up and turned off all the lights.
lemon we’re having Spanish night next Friday. Flamenco dancing lessons being held in the bar during the week. Get your stomping shoes out.?