The Old Argy Bargy Bar.....a new lease of life!

Speak for yourself lemon, I’m a purrrfect pussycat and you know I’ve learned everything I know from you, you cotton pickn’ cougar...?????

Doodle, that bra is handsome with the red and black lace protrudin’ in awl those raght places (speaking in USA Deep South lingo now) but it doesn’t match Lins’ purple frock ...which I’ve ‘borrowed’. Also, I need a few more pounds of suet to make my saloon bar bustle extension be as impressive as lemons.

You'll look just swell in that purple frock propping up the saloon bar Car -Ye Hah- illion ?

I’m really cross with the Admiral ?. He keeps bucking every time I try and get the saddle on him. How am I going to ride in singing my famous Calamity Jane songs and cracking the whip if I can’t saddle up. ??

Lins dwi wedi dy golli di
Get your act into gear gal!!
A bientot xxx

Doodle who are you wrestling with at the back of the deadwood stage??? George isn’t back ...is he?.?

Don’t know how I’ll break it to Big Bruce..who still holds a big torch for you...yikes!

carillion how do you think Big Bruce would feel about wearing a saddle? ?

Doodle, you told us he loves leather ???

Just to give you the rather sad news that Big Jim will be retiring from his duties at the bar (those barrels weigh a ton, and he is knocking on a bit now)☹️So......we will be combining our Western Nite with his retirement party on Friday evening.Would somebody pop out and buy him a pressie and card later?He hasn’t really been the same since that flame haired hussy marydoll ran off with an Italian wine sommelier from the Soprano Bistro down the road.Every time he catches sight of Doodle’s ginger wig ( usually lying on the bar top) he gives a heavy sigh.
Anyhoo....life goes on, and next week I must interview candidates for the position of cellar man.I think young fit men are the best,I may have to do a lotta interviews.

Big Bruce from OZ is my beau.....so hands off.I only have to glimpse his tattoos and things to come over all faint.

Oh dear! Just had a phone call.....more bad news.Apparently the Admiral and the Captain had a fight...over a woman!It’s
AGA ...and her purple bloomers.
The Admiral said he had first dibs on a sight of them, and the Captain said no, he did, and it went from there, they were rolling about on the deck of HMS Dreadnought kicking and punching and had to be separated by four able seamen.The shame?
The upshot of this debacle is that the Captain, in assaulting a senior officer should really be courtmartialled or something, but the Admiral, wanting to hush things up decided instead to flog the Captain round the fleet.So he did...he got a fiver for him from the crew of HMS Impossible ( they had somehow ‘lost’ their own Captain at sea and neglected to tell anybody about it.)So, flogged off for a fiver, not a bad deal really.
The thing is, HMS Impossible is now at sea and won’t be back in port until next month, so we will have to do without him for a while.☹️
The Admiral will be here on Friday night, once he has recovered.You see what wearing purple bloomers does to a man?

Er lemon what’s the chances of the Admiral bringing the four able seamen with him ?
My chances of getting one of the Argy men saddles up are getting less and less ?. It’s my do Friday and I was going to make a stunning entrance. Wot am I going to do now. ?

Doodle. The four able seamen saw my bloomers so they are all coming. I was thinking of being the Lone Rangeress but Lemon said I looked more like Slack Alice. What a cheek!

I have asked her to interview some handsome men for the part of Tonto but I bet she will keep him for herself

AGA, help me out working the poker tables, you could come as Grace Kelly in her frilly gingham frock from ‘High Noon! You could knock ‘em dead with matching underthingies

lemon, is it true that one of Big Bruce’s tattoos reads ‘Trigger’? His horse, naturally ?

Purple gingham bloomers would work well. There will be hordes round the poker tables Carillion.

If anyone else at the Argy wants some purple bloomers I can knit you some. They drive the men wild!

Put my name on the list AGA. I love purple

Knitted purple bloomers ? my goodness what happens if you get them wet? Do they become ankle socks.? ?

Doodle. I always have a spare pair. I have a drawer full at home. They do take several weeks to dry.

I’ll pass on that tempting offer AGA ( bloomers) as I only wear little sequinned numbers ( number size 28) ?
I’ll have a word...the four able ( very able, so I have heard) seamen will be a welcome addition to our party nights.
Doodle yes, it’s a problem ( your steed) as the Admiral will be limping here on crutches. Perhaps Thor will help you out, if he can stand the weight?

No Carillion Big Bruce doesn’t have ‘trigger’ as a tattoo, it’s foul calumny ( that’s the tattoo.....foul calumny) not sure what it means.
He will be bringing two Aussie pals with him and a crate of Fosters.?

Grace Kelly? AGA looks more like Gregory Peck.

Now it’s time for a cocktail as it’s happy hour, who’s for trying my newly made ‘Rancho Fabio’ ( the recipe is an old family secret, there may, or may not, be poteen in it.)?

Doodle. The Admiral said he will wear the saddle if I knit him a pair of purple bloomers. Seems it is just the bloomers he likes!
You owe me a pint or two of gin.

Thanks Lemon but I am really not as pretty as Gregory Peck.
Kind of you though.