Gransnet forums


My DDs' fb friends

(55 Posts)
kittylester Sat 23-May-20 17:50:39

Our lovely next door neighbour has just sent a Facebook friend request which I happily accepted. She was at school with DD2 and I know her mum.

I am fb friends with all my children. grin and I am 'friends' with a few of all my children's friends IYSWIM.

However, I wouldn't ever consider sending any friend requests to any others. I think it's because I assume they wouldn't want to be friends with someone like their mum. I would, however, happily accept them.

Am I being silly - does anyone else feel like this? Or has lockdown got to me?

tanith Sat 23-May-20 18:40:12

I think sometimes on FB you get friends request from people that I think FB suggests to you as they are friends with people you’re friends with doesn’t necessarily actually come from the person.

kittylester Sat 23-May-20 18:46:42

No, this was a definite Friend request. Others come up as 'people you might know'

NotSpaghetti Sat 23-May-20 18:46:55

I am deliberately not on Facebook as I don't want to pry into my adult children's friendship groups.
It would be hard (I'm guessing) not to look at stuff if linked to people in that way.

Maggiemaybe Sat 23-May-20 19:07:58

I keep my Facebook circle very small and select. grin So much so that it’s like watching paint dry now that my young ‘uns have lost interest. They moved onto Instagram, but don’t seem very active on there either now that I’ve finally joined.

Perhaps they’re trying to tell me something?

Buffybee Sat 23-May-20 19:16:02

I’m “friends” with all my family and just like you, also, some of their close friends.
But, as you say, I would never send a “Friend Request” to any of their friends , as that would be weird, even if I knew them pretty well in real life.

moggie57 Sat 23-May-20 19:19:35

i would be wary of who you add as a friend.they might not be who you think they are.i wouldnt send ANY friend requests of my daughters.. my fb page is for friends/penpals/relatives .anyone else gets a delete.

Doodle Sat 23-May-20 19:52:04

I am not on Facebook but if I was I would not be friends with my children or grandchildren as I think they should have some privacy in their contacts with their friends. I suppose in the same way I would not want them to be on GN and know what I’m writing (not that I’ve said anything other than loving things about them). I am curious kitty so your children and grandchildren read your GN threads?

shysal Sat 23-May-20 20:02:13

I totally agree with Doodle and others who feel it would be intrusive. I don't need to know what my family are all doing, nor do they have to know what I am up to!

Deedaa Sat 23-May-20 20:03:12

I'm friends with the girl who was our neighbour's daughter and DD's best friend. I always found her a bit wet as a child but 30 years on we have an awful lot in common. I'm also friends with a pair of twins who were DD's friends but I will probably drop them because they both drink lot and tend to have violent emotional outbursts all over Facebook. Really don't need it.

dragonfly46 Sat 23-May-20 20:03:26

I love FB. Yes I have requested my children’s friends as FB friends as sometimes I have developed a friendship with them apart from my children. Usually I would wait for their requests. It is good, however, to see how they are especially their Dutch friends.

I know I and my DC only put on FB what they want people to know. So, yes I am friends with my DC.

I find FB more secure than Gransnet. I can choose there who sees my post. I never post photos, for example, of my DCC on Gransnet as they are open to all to see even the press.

GagaJo Sat 23-May-20 20:09:08

FB keeps me in touch with far-flung friends and family. What I really dislike is having colleagues friend request me. I like to keep work and private life separate. Because of this, I'm a lot more careful what I post these days.

Doodle Sat 23-May-20 20:09:15

I can understand if someone asks you if they can be your friend ( sorry I don’t know the lingo) but if you ask your children’s friends if you can be friends with them what can they do? If they say no, they stand the chance of offending their friends mum, if they say yes, can they ever post again anything that is private they don’t want you to know? I know nothing of FB so don’t understand how it works. If your children want to post something to their friends that the don’t want you to read, can they do so without you knowing that it’s there and they don’t want you to read it? Sorry not phrased it well but I hope you get my drift.

Oopsadaisy3 Sat 23-May-20 20:26:57

I’m friends with my DDs but I don’t follow them, so I don’t see what they post. I’m mostly friends with people I went to school with or who are on FB groups relating to where I grew up .
My GCs think that FB is for old people and they are on Twitter or Instagram.

annsixty Sat 23-May-20 20:38:50

I am not facebook friends with my D or my GC.They will tell me what I need to know and I wouldn't want to know what I don't need to know or inhibit what they talk about with their friends.
I trust them implicitly.

MamaCaz Sat 23-May-20 20:55:22

On the couple of occasions that I have received friend requests from my adult children's friends, I have just assumed that they had made the requests by accident, so have ignored them!
I'm not sure what that says about my self esteem hmm

Missedout Sat 23-May-20 21:31:10

I'm on Facebook but on my terms. My profile has very little personal information publicly available and I tend to use closed groups.

I have found it useful for finding volunteers to help me by collecting prescriptions during the Covid-19 outbreak, about local services on offer (delivered roast dinners - I'm thinking about them, but cream teas - mmmhhh!). I've also sold a few things via the local Fb group, those interested have made an appointment and turned up with cash, and I've also bought a really good second hand bike for one of my GDs (before Coronavirus).

I get support from others in a closed group with similar immune conditions and dip into acquaintance's posts sometimes.

I see familiar names, friends of my DC, but would not dream of contacting them. Perhaps I will look at Fb a couple of times a day at most but I find it useful sometimes.

TrendyNannie6 Sat 23-May-20 21:38:15

Agree with doodle and shysal

Nannan2 Sun 24-May-20 10:02:21

My own family tell me to have fb or wats app etc but i refuse.

Juicylucy Sun 24-May-20 10:05:04

I’m not on Facebook either, Id heard to many negative stories about it so decided it wasn’t for me. However, if I was, to answer your question, I wouldn’t be friends with my DDs friends I feel they should be in there own circle of friends minus anyone’s mums.

dragonfly46 Sun 24-May-20 10:12:26

I always find it interesting that the main critics of FB are the people who are not on it. I have friend who will not join because she doesn't want everyone knowing her business.

You only put on FB what you want people to know. You can restrict certain people, even though they are friends, from seeing certain posts. Everything you put up there is not for all to see.

I am often surprised who does request me as a friend as I am those who follow me on Instagram especially as I never post on Instagram.

Tanjamaltija Sun 24-May-20 10:16:04

I am friends with my ex-teachers (not all of them) and my ex-pupils (not all of them); and with some of my neighbours and their children and some of my ex-schoolmates. Facebook suggests people I would rather not be friends with (so I don't ask), but sometimes I see the faces of old workmates or friends from my youth, and yes, then I click on the Friend Request button. I also have friends who are authors of books I have edited, and others in writing books or groups of similar interests, and random people I meet in real life. No one from here, though, as far as I know.

Nandalot Sun 24-May-20 10:20:43

I had 3 Facebook friends, my DS, my DD and my oldest friend because that is all of I wanted. You are quite right that Facebook suggests other friends and I must have inadvertently clicked on two at some time. I am now friends with my oldest friend’s son and my nephew. ( I must say I do enjoy looking at their posts but wondered what they thought when they received a friend request from me!)

hicaz46 Sun 24-May-20 10:45:36

I am friends on facebook with several of the friends of my adult children (ages 47 and 49), following requests from them. I don't often comment and if they are not happy they can always unfriend me.

Callistemon Sun 24-May-20 10:48:10

My FB friends are mostly my farflung family, kittylester.

Apart from a couple of groups and a few old friends, that's it.
I have a list of people I know, or are friends of my DC who have asked to be 'my friend' but I ignore it.