My DDs' fb friends

Most FB users are well aware who sees what and will not give you access to people or posts they don't want you to see. These things can be set.

Ps I've never sent a friend request.

I don't want to pry into my adult children's friendship groups

Oh, that made me think.
However, they always seem to want to include us in RL too.

You can choose who sees each facebook post. You can make a group, for instance, of family and set it so that only they see those posts. You can set it so that all friends except xxxx and xxxx see a post, and that could be the regular setting.

I find it a good way keep up with friends from different areas of my life. I am not able to go out much to see them and to events but this is a nice way to stay in touch with what is happening in their lives.

Also it is possible to find a group dedicated to most things that interest one. There are ones for certain authors or health conditions, or hobbies. Those are usually closed , and then you can start one that is closed and just those you want to chat to join, and it can be hidden too. A friend set one up and we're all trying to lose weight by different methods and support each other,.

I love my Facebook. I only accept people I know it know of. On Facebook I have my children, their partners, their partners mum's, some of the parents of children I was a childminder to many years ago ( who found me via Facebook), cousins, my best friends, some old school friends ( who reunited again via Facebook), a few second and 3rd cousins (who found me via Facebook) plus a woman who I was actually her childminder from age 2 until age 9 (who now has a 13 years old!). Plus a few people who I have become very friendly with on other Facebook private groups. I have my all of my grown up nieces and now a couple of great- nieces. We share photos, stories etc. We share funny things about family and also more serious things. When my mum died in march and I was allowed no contact because of covid, it helped me so much. People who knew her were sharing photos of her or memories. Those who didn't were giving support. It helped me so much. It was my son's birthday yesterday, he died age 26 ten years ago. The love and support I got from friends and family on Facebook yesterday was amazing. Photos, memories etc and messages of live being sent. At 6pm many of my Facebook friends and family lit a candle and posted it on Facebook. The love was amazing. Daily I read funny posts, plus funny videos and jokes being shared from You Tube and other places, things of interest. We discuss thing and give points of view (like we do here). I see views of around the world with their photos and I give support to those having a bad day or week. When I had a cancer scare last year I had my Facebook family and friends giving me support. My son who died ...I have all his partners family on my Facebook. Over the 10 years we have shared each others lives still. My son would be so touched about that. I've seen baby's born who he should be uncle to and I've joint in with their family events. Facebook is a positive in my life, it's where we all share lovely things and support each other. It's where we have a moan and where we share our happy moments. Old and young mix together. The young have other groups they also chat on that is more about being in the moment. They have those groups to be with their peers too. People who are not on Facebook have no idea of the pleasure from being in touch, link with things going on and interests ( I belong to many groups about historical facts, local history, interests groups and social groups). The other day I awoke to photos of a newborn baby who had been born in the night ....a ex childminding childs new born. There is no way I would of ever known about or seen that if it weren't for Facebook. It was a wonderful start to my day. You don't have to have anyone you don't know (or those you know but don't what to have) as you have a privacy so only those you've 'added 'can follow you. This is a long post but it's to show how positive Facebook can be. I have a second cousin and we found each other on Facebook. Yesterday she sent me a photo she'd found off my mum in with her mum's old things. I loved at it ....and there was me age 15 standing next to her ......a magical moment because of Facebook as I have no photos of me and my mum together as a teenager. I have 130 people who are in my life via the internet and all it opens up to me. My mum had a Facebook with all her extended family from all over the country on it. We posted her photos of us all going about our day. She was 90 at the time .Wonderful Facebook ?

Ditto Kittylester. I’m exactly like that! However, got a couple of my sons ex girlfriends on there from some years ago who haven’t deleted me!! ( and I want them too!) I don’t want to delete them, it looks so rude, don’t want to offend them! Two others are their old school friends, who even call in to show me new babies etc. My sons all love that their old friends like me! Sharing moments of love, it makes the world go round ???

My daughter won't be friends with me on Facebook ? I am however fb friends with a couple of her friends and she with a couple of mine.
However like you I wouldn't send the friends request

I am very careful with Friends requests on FB. Once you are listed as a Friend you then get broadcast to their friends and their friends - the net is spread too wide, and too many people get to know things you’d rather they didn’t. I prefer ‘real’ friends for a telephone chat.

I am on facebook but have the settings to 'just me'. No friends. I have sites I go to which are various, such as radio shows, bbc news ect ect
I used to accept friends but deleted that account when I found they could then look at accounts of all my friends as I could with their friends...I found that shocking so closed account

Facebook isn’t as private as some of you seem to think!

For instance, if you post a picture and someone in your friends list such as your DS or DD ‘likes’ or comments on it, then ANYONE in their friends list can see that picture too.

Not only that, the ‘friend’ can then take a screenshot of your picture or post, save it to their own device and distribute it themselves.
Then their friends can see it too.
Users in the 20-40 age bracket often have hundreds of ‘friends’ on their account, many that they don’t know personally but got added for various reasons. They have no idea who these people are in real life.

So your funny post about falling over in the garden can be shared to the world at large very easily. It can also be digitally altered before being shared.

What saddens me particularly is pictures of babies and young children being used by others for likes or to gain sympathy and attention and to get people donating to fake causes.

I have some older ladies on my friends group who never learn. They happily re-post all sorts of rubbish without ever checking whether it’s genuine.

You get lost dogs posts where if you search back, you discover that it was reunited with its owner 3 years ago but the original post is still doing the rounds and the ‘friend’ who shared it is completely oblivious.

Recently, there was a photo of a baby hooked up to monitors in a hospital and a plea for donations for medical treatment in the US. When I looked into it further and did a ‘reverse image’ search, the picture had been taken from a news website where a baby had been treated following a car accident and had been discharged from hospital. Some dodgy person was using her image to con people into donating money for bogus treatment. You can obviously report that instance, but many more will go unreported.

I have a Facebook account but I never post pictures of my family, especially DGC on there.

Craicon That is not strictly true. You can adjust your settings so that friends of friends cannot see photos or posts you put up.
FB security can be complicated but I am constantly checking my settings.

Also if a friend likes a post of mine it does not mean their friends can read it or view it if you have your security set correctly.

Swore I would never go on FB. Then the virus happened & my son set it up for me. I have friends who are real friends & am very careful who I accept as friends. I keep up with more news on FB now than by watching tv with nothing but the virus 24/7. Like animal posts & music but am very wary too.

As one who has never had a Facebook account, could you tell me.
If I join Facebook I gather I would have to use my real name. If I didn’t want anyone to know I had a Facebook account at all, can you do that?
Also I notice that when the software on my iPad is updated it often overrides previous setting s in some way and you have to go back and change some privacy settings again. Does this happen with Facebook.

No you don’t have to use your real name. I’m sure there isn’t anyone really called Anita Go, or Eesa Fiend. I know some other pseudonyms who I do know by their real name but don’t want to raise interest in them.
You have to tell folk you want to be friends with e.g. family so they can accept your friend request.
You do need it if you want people to contact you because they remember you. They aren’t going to remember living next door to Wendy Roofblewoff.

I am friends with all of my children on FB except for one. She was one of my friends but every time she threw her toys out of her pram because somebody upset her, she unfriended me which was a bit hurtful. Eventually, I suggested that she might want to keep her privacy by not adding me again which she agreed to telling me that she didn't really want any family as her friends. Now if she wants me to see any photos of the kids, she either sends them to me directly or puts them on her husband's page and tags me. FB can be a minefield!

NotSpaghetti - it is perfectly possible to be on Facebook and not pry! Why would anyone do that? I've been on it for years and it's great to see family fun things that they're all doing. I wouldn't send a friend request to my children's friends but I've accepted several from them, which is always rather sweet, I think. I am also friends on there with my grandson (the girls are all a bit young) but I don't snoop about on his page - he is only 20 so I imagine he uses Insta far more anyway. But now and then I get the odd message from him. It's fine - it's what you make it. I hate to see people sneering about it, as far too many seem to do.

Craicon you just need to go to the Privacy settings and sort it out. It's fine - it can be as private as you want it to be.
The only thing I really object to is when people who I know as being only moderately right-wing, indiscriminately post something from a far right group which is usually a) not true and b) from a group that is blatantly racist. They need to check first and just NOT do it. (I've unfriended a few who have turned out to be genuinely ultra-right - don't need those in my life!). but pics of kittens, especially in times of stress, are fine.

I tend to accept or send friends requests to family, close personal acquaintances, their families/close friends and sometimes people from groups I belong to. There is only one I'm tempted to block - a reactionary Trump supporter - the sister of my Brazilian adopted sister's best friend, who came to London with my sister in the early seventies. I'm sure this one girl is a lovely person, but she took umbrage when I shared an anti-Trump joke with my FB friends.

Kittylester I am exactly the same as you. I am "friends" with some of my children's friends, but only if they ask me. I would never ask them first. I find that less of my "see every day" friends use it now. My children tend to use Instagram more. My DD1 has come off it altogether for personal reasons. I love Facebook more for the groups. There are lots of groups for where I live and several brilliant local history groups. I also follow groups for some of my favourite TV shows and the slimming group that I belong to. What I don't like are Facebook stalkers; Facebook friends who read everything I post but never ever comment ot put anything up themselves. My very best friend, who lives quite a distance away, does that. I know she loves seeing what we as a family post and what we are up to, but I wish she would sometimes just say something back. Even if it was just a "like".

I do exactly the same. Then it’s up to them.

I have one of my DD's friends as my friend on FB, because she sent me a request. I find her posts mildly irritating.

Worse still, I have lots of my in-laws as friends. Couldn't avoid it and so I have much more contact with them than I ever wanted. I know, I am a terrible person.

I used to teach teenagers and made it a rule that I would never accept friend requests from anyone under 18, as I didn't want them knowing too much about my private life or for my motives to be called into question. It also avoided that 'Why him/her, not me?' issue if I didn't want to accept anyone that I taught or was in my tutor group. I did accept a few when they were older, just to find out how they were doing, but not for long. It's a decision I still stick to now, even though I'm retired.

I have got a handful of Facebook Friends who are also friends, or ex boyfrends of my daughters. The latter because I became friends with their parents many years ago, buttheir parents do not have Facebook pages of their own, so its a way of keeping up with their family news. My Daughters are fine about it, my eldest one still chats to her ex from her teenage years, even though they are now both married with families of their own.
I also belong to a group from my old school, again photos and news is shared, and occasionaly some of them meet up for a night out. I once did this, but never again, People can change so much over the years, and the nice guy from the Youth club when you were 16, can be the Preditor from hell who thinks hes 'Gods gift to all women ' at 40!

Oh god no !
I just don’t want to know what my daughters do on fb. I just know it would upset me to find they waste time following the Kardashians or whoever.
I’m only on there to link games etc . I always decline “friends” being an antisocial so and so I guess.

I am friends with now grownup friends of my children...not many but they sent me friend requests. I have tracked down friends I lost touch with because of house moves etc...two in Australia. I have also found cousins Facebook gets a lot of bad press but it does have its good side.