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Mr P went shopping and he bought......

(35 Posts)
phoenix Sat 06-Jun-20 17:56:23

Hello, usual good wishes.

Well, I have posted before about such topics as "when is a leek like a cauliflower ?" etc. and how my dear Mr P has been doing the shopping as although I'm only ( !) 61, I'm "shielding" due to COPD.

I would like to say that I really appreciate him doing the shopping, and also that I am fortunate to have him, however............

There have been some "odd" purchases (apart from the cauliflower/leek incident) for instance:

Bleach, when I had asked for toilet cleaner (Himself said that he thought they were the same thing, I said if I wanted bleach , I would have said bleach)

20 Sausages, mea culpa, didn't actually say DON'T buy sausages* (didn't realise I had to!) That sort of quantity is, I suppose, intended for barbeques, we don't have barbeques.

Chestnut mushrooms. I asked for some on the last shopping trip, none available, so he got ordinary. Fine, they did the job, but because he remembered that I asked for them last time, thought I might still need them (I dont, but can't bear waste, so feel soup coming on)

A swede. Yes, it was on the list. However at no point did I say that one the size of a football was required. Current options are to take an axe to it and share it with a neighbour, or peel, boil and mash the whole thing, and put some portions into the freezer, except of course there may not not be much space due to the sausages, see above.

Chocolate, I love that man!

Callistemon Sat 06-Jun-20 18:09:50

It reminds me of that game we play children, we haven't played it since last year!

I went shopping and I bought:
Chestnut mushrooms (or chocolate, whichever your preference)
Danish pastry

And everyone has to remember the whole list and add to it.

Does swede come under swede or is it a turnip in Devon?

Callistemon Sat 06-Jun-20 18:10:20

We play with the children!

Callistemon Sat 06-Jun-20 18:10:45

Sorry - with the children

BlueSky Sat 06-Jun-20 19:42:30

Do all men enjoy shopping for treats and extras and forget the basics? Mine does, I guess as when I shop it's the other way round. Give him a credit card and he's like a kid in a sweet shop!
Phoenix love your Mr P 's shopping escapades! grin

phoenix Sat 06-Jun-20 19:44:36

Callistemon The vegetable in question, or should I say the monster size, enough to feed a multitude, is quite definitely a swede!

I may reside in Devon, but I do still know a swede from a turnip!I

However, it may be that I need a bit more careful consideration to differentiate between a well meaning chap and a numpty!smile

Lucca Sat 06-Jun-20 19:46:00

My ex once I insisted on buying Something called mushroom ketchup which then languished In the cupboard for many years.

lemongrove Sat 06-Jun-20 19:49:26

I think he sounds lovely Phoenix ( bringing chocolates....
Never been known in this house)envy
Perhaps he will bring gin and Baileys next time too.

Willow500 Sat 06-Jun-20 19:49:36


phoenix Sat 06-Jun-20 19:56:25

Oh lemongrove I hope not!

Quite partial to a drop of Bailey's (or Lidl equivalent wink) but the only time I have ever liked gin was when going out to dinner with my beloved late step father, when we would sometimes have a "proper" martini (gin and vernouth) while perusing the menu!

* Lucca* I remember many years ago searching high and low for mushroom ketchup for a particular recipe!

phoenix Sat 06-Jun-20 20:03:49

BTW, it was a bar of chocolate, not a box, but much appreciated just the same!

80% cocoa, salted caramel!

Oldbutstilluseful Sat 06-Jun-20 20:04:49

Lucca I treasured my mushroom ketchup, it adds such a piquant flavour to any beef dish. Sadly can’t seem to get it now ☹️

Elegran Sat 06-Jun-20 20:24:27

That swede, phoenix - you don't need to chop and boil it. Trim the bottom level and stand it in/on a microwave-proof plate. Then heat it on high for 20 minutes. A bit more if it is a real giant.
Take it out and cut in in half (be careful, the inside is very hot) and scoop out the (now perfectly cooked) inside to mash it with butter, salt and black pepper. You will still have to find room in the freezer for it, but you will have skipped the chopping stage.

phoenix Sat 06-Jun-20 21:10:57

Elegran it's a bit too big for our microwave!

Have used that method with others in the past.

Elegran Sat 06-Jun-20 21:14:45

Good grief! It must be a refugee from a flower and produce show.

Charleygirl5 Sat 06-Jun-20 21:52:57

phoenix I am so pleased that you and Mr.P live in Devon and I live in NW London so there is no likelihood of Mr P perhaps volunteering and buying food for me.

Where on earth does he shop to find these monstrosities and does he not give thought to the size and perhaps wastage if the item is not eaten?

If you asked for 4 oranges and they were out of stock- would he come home with 4 lemons instead?

Nice and helpful as he may be- you may keep him!!!

Doodle Sat 06-Jun-20 22:30:39

I think you should be grateful Mr P brought you home a swede. Most men wouldn’t want to share their home and wife with a handsome blonde Scandinavian but I suppose as you put one on the list he felt obliged to bring one back. 😊

Granny23 Sat 06-Jun-20 22:37:13

My shopping is currently being done by my Son in Law (a Yorkshireman) and left on the doorstep by my DD. I send a list via messenger to his phone and have discovered that I really need to give a full description rather than a shorthand version of the items I want. It has become clear that some foodstuffs, especially bakery items, are called. My request for 4 DFanidh (meaning danish pastries) elicited 4 packs of Danish Bacon, and to get the rolls I call softies, I have to ask for Baps. This week I asked for Ice Cream Cones. Instead of the Cornetto type that I was expecting, (perfect to pass to the DGC if they are here for a socially distancing visit in the garden) got a huge box of empty cones.

agnurse Sat 06-Jun-20 22:59:24

I am reminded of the time my parents went to visit my grandfather to help him out. Grandma was in hospital recovering after a stroke (she recovered most of her function; sadly she and Grandpa have both since gone to their reward) and Grandpa, bless him, wasn't much of a cook. Grandpa wanted Mum's help to make a pot of soup, as that's something he could freeze and heat up quickly. Mum said they needed to start with some onion. Grandpa proceeded to chop enough onion to create a huge mound on the cutting board and then asked if that was enough. Mum said yes, that was enough. Dad asked Mum sotto voce if they were planning on making French onion soup!

Callistemon Sat 06-Jun-20 23:03:23

I always thought that a swede was a swede unless you live in Devon in which case it's a turrrrnip.

phoenix Sat 06-Jun-20 23:07:05

Charleygirl heaven knows what he was thinking, he said the others were on the small side! Please bear In mind that the first thing he ever cooked for me was chilli, and I can home from work to find every pan I owned bubbling away with it! Delicious though it was, it could have fed a Harvest Supper. I had no freezer at the time.

He had cooked 2, possibly 3 pounds of mince, 3 cans of tomatoes, 2 or 3 cans of kidney beans etc. I think in a previous life he may have been in the catering corps!grin

I now harness this compulsion towards large quantities by getting him to batch cook for the freezer!

Granny23 I feel your pain, nothing worse than expecting a nice ice cream and just getting the empty bit!

Doodle behave!

agnurse Sun 07-Jun-20 22:18:02


At least he did better than my father. Dad is a wonderful man, but bless him, cooking is not one of his gifts. One of the first times he had cooked for Mum before they married, he also made chili, along with sauerkraut and peas. Problem is he made it a one-pot special. Mum said she ate it, and she told him that subsequently she would cook for them both, but he had to buy half the groceries. (They had previously agreed to take turns cooking for each other.)

phoenix Sun 07-Jun-20 22:37:20

Hello all !

A bit of a result, my neighbour was happy to have half of the monster swede, so I got Mr P to cut it in half (took a bit of doing!) and bagged it up and popped it on her doorstep.

The remainder still provided enough as a side dish to go with tonight's roast chicken, and some to freeze!

Don't you just love a happy ending!grin

Callistemon Sun 07-Jun-20 22:50:14

No haggis?

Charleygirl5 Sun 07-Jun-20 22:57:02

Granny23 I found that hilarious. I only hope you had sufficient freezer room for the bacon! As for the empty cones, I was almost in tears with laughter.

Phoenix I am not sure if a normal freezer could cope with the amount of food Mr P can and does cook. Whatever his job, he is obviously wasted.

Is it possible you could do online shopping for food? You may save money!