Should I be so upset?

Congratulations it seems it's the new norm. You are lucky it wasn't an anouncement on Facebook.

But bare with your son it's obviously an hectic time especially if Mum and baby are unwell. Wish mum and baby wellx

Congratulations on the safe arrival of your grandchild. Don’t fret, enjoy the moment. He’ll be worrying about his wife and child and it’ll be nothing personal.

I personally think that mother's deserve to be the first to receive a phonecall however brief!

Congratulations on becoming a grandparent. My DS and DiL had their first child 2 days into lockdown. I had a phone call very early that morning - he sounded shattered just to say the baby had come, his weight, time, name and that his wife was ok. It was such a relief to know they were all ok.

It's difficult to know when the best time to phone a new family so maybe just send a text to say. Love to hear from you when you can. It worked for us and I got a call while DS was dog walking baby in sling one morning and another family one with baby asleep.

These are difficult times but time passes quickly. We have just met our new grandson properly. He gave us plenty of smiles, quizzical looks and is very much a little person. We talked about missing out on visiting when he was first born. It was not how my DiL expected to become a new mum. She had been looking forward to showing her baby off and having family round and walks with other mums she'd met at NCT and none of that could happen. She felt pretty isolated at times I think. She works for a local radio station as a broadcaster/ producer and when she left for her maternity leave she was tasked with doing an audio blog. Little did she know that lockdown would happen but it reflect being a new mum during this time. It has been quite emotional to hear it. But time marches on and lockdown has eased and we had a lovely time yesterday. We have well and truly bonded with our grandson and he won't know that we didn't see him for 11 weeks.

You too will have a lovely relationship with your new grandchild.

Please try to put aside your expectations and think about what you can do to make things easier for them at the moment. Don't think about your title as grandmother but what being a new grandmother is to you. How you were informed of the event doesn't change that at all

Glamnan123. Congratulations on becoming a Grandmother!

I agree with Doodle. Send them a very loving message and welcome to the new baby. Your son will be so delighted to hear from you.

Congratulations firstly- best job in the world being a Grandma!!
I am sure your son meant no slight. He is undoubtedly exhausted & emotional & obviously worried about his family. I am sure everything will be fine & once the antibiotics kick in everything will look better & he can relax a bit.
I always feel sorry for the new dad. My husband was really good but I have never seen him look so haggard as he did after the birth of our first son which was a bit traumatic & he had to leave the room ( in those days they were very strict about that if things looked like going wrong).
Poor man.
I'm sure by now you have had an update & all is well & you can soon cuddle your new GC.

I would give them a day then you ring . My husband was bewildered when our first was born . Concerned for me and the baby . Terrified of driving us home etc . They may both have a little more time to talk tomorrow.

After 3 years I have come to the sad conclusion that being a grandmother is a one-way street with the parents of one's grandchild. I focus on my little granddaughter, who is a joy.
I cook with her mainly in mind and buy books, toys and clothing for her, which makes me happy and expect nothing much in return from her parents. Western countries such as ours do not respect older relatives in the way that others do.

Well when our children have their own family we become fourth down the line after spouse and children!

For goodness sake, how long does a phone call take!!!

Congratulations.

I would probably be hurt too, but that is because we haven't fully embraced WhatsApp, etc. We expect a phone call. My parents' generation were upset if they only got a phone call. They expected a printed card, as well. Something along the lines of the newspaper announcement, To Dr and Mrs NN a daughter.

Times change.

The important thing is that it seems to have gone well.

You are allowed to feel hurt and it's ok to be sensitive however the thing to be aware of is having expectations of anything in the first place.

So - it's not really that your son has upset you but more that your expectation did.

Letting go of expectations is a step towards being happier.

Glamnan, congratulations. It will be lovely for you when you can meet your GC. I think I have learned to keep my mouth shut and smile!

Congratulations Glamnan!! Lots of joy and fun times ahead !!!
Whatsapp is the main form of communication in our family as well. My 3 children and their families live in the same town......it's not always possible to get together or to phone one another regularly. So we have a family whatsapp group and instead of making several individual phonecalls to pass messages, we do a family chat. It works well for us .

I would be hurt and even though going through the birthing process with your partner is an exhausting time, he found the energy to announce the arrival on social media to all the rest of the family. I really think a quick call to say hello you are a Grandma was in order and a matter of good manners. You are his mother and the child's grandmother, even if he'd have just sent you a text or a private message first would have been something. I totally get why you are hurt, it's like you don't matter enough. This is a huge thing in your boy's life and you are hurt that he didn't care to share the news with you first, his mum, and he just lumped you in with all the rest of the family. It's not the same as getting a new puppy or kitten is it. The thing now is how you move forward. Sometimes as parents we simply have to swallow the hurt that is dealt to us on occasions by our offspring, unintentional as it may be in this case. Men are notoriously bad at times of actually 'thinking' !

When my daughter gave birth we got a text from her husband. It's the way it is now. Dont be upset, they are in a little bubble just now.

Social media is the "go to" method now. Like you think I would have expected to be in on the news a bit more personally rather than a blanket family announcement. Can't change what's happened though so look forward to being able to meet your Grandchild. Congratulations.

When my eldest son & wife have their child soon, he will ring me, but only cause he knows i dont/wont have whats app & facebook etc.

Congratulations to you all!

Oh don't be too upset. The boy is probably exhausted. He messaged after all. My grandson ( 1st grandchild) was born and my sister knew before I did It was in the days before mobile phones and she happened to phone between me trying to make contact. You've got the rest of this babies life to know and love him..

Don't take this amiss, Glamnan123, but the "senior granny" is usually the maternal granny. And she must be really anxious for her daughter at this time.
Be a little patient, you will get more news from your son soon.

Red1

Children grow up and as adults, they make decisions that are the best for them, impact on other people (except minor children or partner) is a very minor factor, if it even deserves any consideration

It is very selfish of you to make your son's life about you.

I know exactly how you feel as my son n DIL are the same. I find out on Facebook if anyone is in hospital, school play, camping trip, learned to swim etc etc. Never get invited to school plays concerts etc either. Any photos I see are on Facebook too. Birthday party invites are coffee and cake at the house an hour before bedtime to give a gift and say hello.
But at least we see the DGC about once a month when they visit.

Congratulations on your new grandchild.
Sadly social media is the way of the young.
My only son lives about 5 hours away , in Hertfordshire,and when my grandson, now 5, was due I heard nothing but sent an email that evening to say hope my daughter in-law was well and surely they wouldn't have long to go, only to get a text about half an hour later to be told he had been born that morning!
I was asked not to visit but knowing he was likely to be an only child as they had already said so I could not wait months to be invited so after 2 weeks I booked an overnight hotel in London and took a train to visit, I told them I was doing it and would not stay long. He was wonderful and yes my daughter in law was struggling, it was much more traumatic than she had imagined and he refused to breast feed.
I do not regret it but be warned they still don't let us see him much now