Should I be so upset?

Congratulations.

Please do not be upset, just delighted that all is well for all three of them.

New Dad - hard enough in normal times, and things so far from that now. So many things for him to do and to think about. Getting Mum and baby back home, and all that entails.

He has informed people - it is now up to you. Send off your card and pressie. Let him how happy and delighted you are. If they are far away, you do not know when you will actually be able to see them, but thanks to modern technology ask that he sends you loads of pictures.

Ask him if there is anything at all you can do to help - and remind him that offer is on-going.

Accept that you have now been pushed one level down the pecking order and enjoy!!!

If you had the news via WhatsApp I don’t think you should expect an immediate personal phone call as well, particularly as there have been complications - you don’t know what your DS has had to be doing. “It’s not all about you” is a good mantra for grans.

Have you sent your son a message back saying congratulations to you both on your wonderful news and hoping dil will soon feel better but please let you know. It has been an exhausting time for them both and the threat of sepsis is a big worry. They will probably need your support so don’t fall out over it just be happy your GC is here safely.
Watsapp is the way of the world right now. When my second GC was born my sil kept me informed with texts.

Perhaps think how he usually communicates with you? I am guessing that the family WhatsApp group is the way each of you chat, so instinctively at a time of worry he would have wanted to let everyone know and get back to his partner and new baby as quickly as possible. I agree a phone call would have been magical, but I am guessing he isn't in the habit of picking up the phone and calling, only one of my four children would do that unless I was wanted very urgently.

Do send a text tomorrow asking how the three of them are, sending love and congratulations and if a home cooked meal would help once they are home. keep it brief, and I hope you will get an early reply!

We have a family WhatsApp group but we also have personal ones.

Why not just send a loving message on the personal one? That's what I do if I want to feel closer. You could ask if he needs anything for him, the new mum or baby for example. We took a fresh salad and a fruit salad over in a chiller bag which the ward staff took through and they both enjoyed.

Not sure what would be allowed with Covid-19 but you could ask.

Congratulations to you all though.

He probably should have rung you but maybe he is just too busy with everything at the moment. Yes, I would be a bit hurt too. Anyway, congratulations on becoming a grandma and I'm sure you will be able to see your grandchild soon.?

I do sympathise. My son in law text us,probably at insistence of my daughter. Later found out he hadn't contacted his own parents until next day! It is a busy time and modern technology does make it easier if less personal. I hope mum on mend and all well?

Interesting to see this today... my dear girl friend is almost having a mental breakdown over her first grandchild.

made me recall my first adventures as a grandmother, over 20 years ago now... looking back,, I think many grandparents have heart ache of some sort over the gks.. I have two sons.. two lovely dils... the mother of my gks hardly included me when the gks were young, (eldest now over 20, youngest 1l) not excluded , but I so wanted to be part of their upbringing, having them stay over... it never happened... (well one gk, unusual circs,long story)

we don`t hug, we are sort of close, but not close as a grandma usually likes to be.. it actually hurts me to read of how some gparents are so very close to their gks. involved in their daily lives..

I think .. we will have hurts being grandparents. as we were as parents, we are all different... at the end of the day, I am just happy (grateful?) for any contact with my gks..
lovely sons, but rarely phone me either. but I do know they love me in their way...

I would get in touch and tell him how thrilled you are. Don't say how you feel inside, that wouldn't be the right thing. I'm sure he will be so pleased to know you are thrilled for them.

How lovely to be a grandma, congrats. I'm sure everyone is a bit gobsmacked at present. Even though a baby is expected and planned for, it still knocks you for six when it actually happens. You can have a good chat when all the initial excitement has calmed down.

I hardly ever phone people and find it very intrusive when people phone me unless they have texted first to check when is a convenient time. I dont want to intrude on others so for me it is a text message, whatsapp or email.

I can understand why you would be hurt that you didn’t get a phone call we did when our AC had their first couple of babies but as two more babies came along it was a text and spoke to them a few days later,

Of course your son should have phoned you with the good news. Who wants an impersonal message on Whatsapp? I'd have been extremely upset if that had happened to me.

I hope your son calls you very soon and many congratulations on the birth of your grandchild.

Many congratulations- a phone call would of course been lovely but they do tend to do things differently these days. I’m sure you will speak soon xxx

Congratulations! What wonderful news. It has obviously been a difficult time with the current situation and poor new mum having health issues too. When my DGD was born almost four years ago my son told me they wanted time to be a family before they received visitors. Their baby, their choice. However it didn't take long before I got the phone calls to come up and help and for the past three years I have been looking after DGD one day a week or more. This is day one of being a grandma so please let it be about them and their baby and get ready for the phone calls!

Can’t you call him?

Glamnan 123, I completely understand how hurt you were. I’d be the same but as you yourself have now said, there were reasons why you didn’t hear from him. As I have found out, there are usually reasons. I guess being very sensitive (as I am) doesn’t help. Enjoy being a Grandma.

I would WhatsApp your son and ask when a good time to call would be. You could then video call on WhatsApp and see them all. Hope you get in touch soon.

Congratulations on becoming a grandma,the first one is so exciting.These days what's app and texts seem to be the easiest way for new parents to spread the good news.One of my GGD was born earlier this year and my GD sent me a photo of Mum and baby with name and weight 20 minutes after the birth.,but I am sure it went to everyone.
AnotherGGD was born last year and the new mum phoned me,when I asked the weight she couldn't tell me as she was still in the birthing pool !!
A further 3 GGC are due this year and I'm sure What's app will come in again.
Enjoy your new grandchild and I'm sure your help will be appreciated.

It’s the modern, quick way of doing things now. I’m sure he’ll fill you in more once things have settled down. Congratulations and stay positive and look forward to your first post COVID 19 cuddles X

My son looked shell shocked when our GC was born - I don't think he would have known his own name if asked. He's probably being irrational and isn't himself - just hug yourself with pleasure at this wonderful news and I'm sure you will hear soon!

Congratulations! Was just trying to remember whether my 2 'kids' rang me the day their babies were born. I can't remember.
As long as you knew, don't worry. Your son is probably overawed right now. They'll be home soon you'll be able to speak to them.

Congratulations!
I think that he has probably been up all night, is exhausted, jubilant, overwhelmed and confused at the moment. Give him time to re-surface into the real world,. Meanwhile just send a text of congratulations, it will help to focus hid mind.

Congratulations on the birth of your grandchild. Don't be hurt, it is just the way the younger generation do things these days. I always try to look for the intention to deliberately hurt me and do you know what? There is rarely a case of that. (Sorry about the grammar but I have no idea of how to punctuate those last two sentences!) This is the moment in your life to start doing that with the DIL and your son whilst also sense checking what you are saying. If you are are going to say anything about what you did with your own children with breast feeding or the like, make sure you note any differences with a positive wonder at the things you do today. I very quickly found that kind advice is easily mistaken for criticism and it is easy for us to forget that there is vast amount of anxiety coupled with hormones, tiredness, etc going on with Mum. Good luck.

I was upset when this happened to me too until I realised that there was so much going on that my son was unable to leave his partner to get to his phone. The call much later when mother and baby were both settled and happy soon made up for it.