Is it just me?

BlueSky, I would only be writing what you have written.

NannyDee ?

I wouldn't be with my husband if he was an irritant if we spent long periods together and I think it is rather sad that most of my friends think of their husband under their feet if they stay at home for any length of time.

I travelled with my husband when he was working and when he first retired we travelled around U.K. with the caravan
Visiting NT housed then we let the bungalow and travelled around Europe until he died twelve years later. So we were always together. We very rarely had a disagreement and were aways in love. Was like losing a part of me.

So many posts on Gransnet are about complaints about husbands and I do feel sorry for them.

My husband always worked away for three days a week and travelled a lot as well. It wasn’t our normal to spend a lot of time shut up at home together.
It doesn’t mean we aren’t happy and don't love each other, just that we don’t want to be together 24/7 and I know plenty of people who feel the same.

Oh I am learning to be grateful
And clearly as with others here we were blessed to have a good marriage/partner

This is a huge challenge for all of us
And encouraging me to change
To reach out to others

Lucca
My very thoughts.

Yes me too - never enough time together - widowed 7 years

I just treat everything as normal. Any meetings with friends are done on zoom. I go shopping every day as usual, watch box set comedies, go out to see my Dil and grandchildren (although it was a bit difficult when we were in full lockdown). Or even just go for a drive in the car. If DP doesn't want to come, I go anyway.

How sad that having reached the stage of life when you have more time to spend together there are so many who find retirement stressful. Be grateful that you still have your husband with you. I would give anything if mine was still here.

Be careful what you wish for. Seems like you take each over for granted.

Cheeky move to take his car off the road and then use yours! Seems rather like passive-aggressive controlling behaviour to me.

Initiate a calm conversation over a drink (tea/coffee/wine) when you’re both relaxed and tell him to cancel the SORN declaration and get his car back on the road as you need yours.

If he resists, say you’ll contact your insurance company and get him taken off as the “named driver” on your policy so he won’t be insured to drive it.

Do NOT lose your independence to get out and about, even with the current situation curtailing our social life.

My better half has never been at home as much as he has during lockdown and I know it was more about keeping me protected/shielded than anything else. I was retired at a young age on ill health grounds, so am used to spending most of my days alone in the house. For the most part we get along OK and 30+ years has taught us to work through any issues that crop up so, no, I'm not fed-up with him being home more. That said I feel for him as he has done the majority of renovation work on our new forever home on his own, had his business border on bankruptcy and missed working, socialising and having a laugh with the guys he usually interacts with while working. They are now back working but turning down anything that involves having to go through houses. His business partner also stuck strictly to the 'only mix with people in the one household' guideline for months so both of them have had very little contact with other people and as they work outside feel they can do many jobs safely now. I think most people are having to get used to different set-ups within their homes, different ways of living, relating to other people, socialising and working. We can each only do what we think is best, and safest, for us and our friends and families. Limiting risks wherever possible.

Whenever I have poorly days, or times depression seems worse etc I try not to dwell too much on all the people in much better circumstances than me but to realise no matter how bad things might seem, life is tough for others too and some have it a lot harder than me. Lockdown must be hell for some that were already struggling e.g. those that are victims of abuse, domestic violence, that aren't getting help & support they need, that are trying to care for loved ones with special needs, disabilities, terminal illness, people that are alone and lonely, families or single parents stuck in flats with no gardens, people with extreme financial difficulties etc.

@NannyDee & It must be hard on you watching your husband just sleeping most of the time and I hope you are getting any support and/or help you both need. I am the chronically ill person in our relationship and my better half has admitted he finds a lot of the emotional impact of caring for me harder than the physical assistance I need. Gransnet is, for the most part, a supportive forum and I like to think we can be here for you if you want to chat etc

Mine retired just before lockdown, so no going back. I retired 6 months earlier. I enjoyed those 6 months on my own so much and did my own thing. Now life is very different. We seem to do more of what he wants than me with the days being structured in his way.

It's nice in some ways but I would like a bit more time to myself which I'm going to have to make happen now we've got a bit more freedom after lockdown.

I have been living with my lodger who's still on furlough whilst I'm a key worker. Quite difficult living with someone that you're not in a relationship with that is getting paid to sit around whilst you're out working hard for your money. He has sat around looking bored and miserable, happier now he can spend his furloughed money at the pub. Two totally different lockdown experiences in one household

How I used to long for my (much) loved husband to go out to give me a break. I would ask him to pick up a few groceries for me - and I knew this would take a couple of hours. How I relished time to myself in a quiet house.

My husband of 53 years died of cancer 12 weeks ago tomorrow.

How I long to have him under my feet again. Be careful what you wish for Ladies - you will miss him dreadfully when he is no longer here and being alone in a quiet house isn't fun.

for all of you who miss someone

Fed up with being in such close proximity 24/7 used to having my own time, miss my different activities.DH does go to an outside gym group twice a week, so I am lucky really.Roll on easing of all restrictions,and getting "back to normal"

I would love DH to be home with me. I was at work when DH was furloughed and then he went back to work and I started working from home. I suppose we havent got under each others feet but we both wish we had spent some time together

A friend of mine had her DH home for one week of retirement then found him a job

Of course the women on this forum that complain of their husband's personality, actions and habits "getting on their nerves", are always perfect in every aspect of of their own lives.

I hate the way some Gransnetters talk about their husbands on here.

I find it really sad reading some of the posters that are fed up with their husbands being at home, i on the other hand love my husband being at home, love spending time with him, I just wonder what some of the husbands think of having to be at home with their wives, I wonder if they are just as fed up ??

Im sure that although we grump a bit we all love our husbands very much. When I say it would be better to be alone than ignored I meant out in the shed or garden as its hard not being answered. But we do have lots of good times together.
Perhaps as some say we should stop grumbling and be grateful.

Yes, yes, yes! We retired at the same time unfortunately. I would have liked some time on my own as we also worked together. I feel stifled!