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Is it just me?

(73 Posts)
Craftycat Tue 14-Jul-20 10:28:18

- or is anyone else fed up with having DH at home!!
It has been a long time now & he is driving me mad.
I long for him to be able to go back to work but as a free lance Business Analyst there is not much work out there yet as so many companies are still letting their employees work from home.
He is younger than I am so has a while to work yet whereas I have been retired for a while now. I suppose I am just used to having the house to myself. It doesn't help that I cannot carry on as usual as obviously all the things I usually go to
( Yoga, dance class, etc.) have not started back yet.
To make matters worse he took his car off the road as ' we wouldn't need 2' so he is off in my car a lot & I am stuck at home - he has volunteered to do some charity work for local council .
I long for a good natter in a nice coffee shop with my friends but it will be a while yet I fear! ( None are open round here yet!)
At least we can get together & walk some days.
Roll on Normality!

DiscoGran Tue 14-Jul-20 10:43:30

Hi Crafty, no it's not just you. My DH has been working from home since mid March. I don't go back to work for another few weeks. We get on okay, but it is getting a little bit "Groundhog Day".
I am also waiting for my usual classes to resume, but have substituted on line ones and do take myself off upstairs to do an hours class, then feel better. Don't worry, I'm sure your local coffee shops will soon be open. It's not nice that he has commandeered your car, though. What a cheek, don't put up with that.

Lucca Tue 14-Jul-20 10:55:24

Maybe he’s fed up having you around too..... just a thought

Megs36 Tue 14-Jul-20 11:29:33

But ,what if the worst happens, My husband had a spell in hospital at the beginning of lockdown and has been shielded ever since, as I can’t drive (stroke last year) its pretty boring and annoying at times but we are together in this.

annep1 Tue 14-Jul-20 12:33:20

I'm just fed up of it being mostly only us two together. I long for my art groups and the craic. And my husband has long spells when he is very quiet and uncommunicative really it would be better being alone than begging someone to answer you. ( sorry, having a bad day..)

annep1 Tue 14-Jul-20 12:35:13

Yes Craftycat roll on normality indeed. And maybe reclaim your car!

MerylStreep Tue 14-Jul-20 12:47:07

We both retired in 2004 and OH had worked part time for the previous 4 years so we are very used to being together 24 hrs a day except for when OH goes off for his jollies/work with friends.
We both enjoy each other's company.

JenniferEccles Tue 14-Jul-20 13:28:08

I wonder if divorce lawyers will be extra busy after all this enforced togetherness?!!

I bet they will but just think how much worse it must have been for those living in some European countries where they weren’t even allowed out for a daily walk like we were.

Of all the businesses which sadly will go under, the legal profession will flourish!

My husband has thankfully still been working part time as well as being busy in the garden so we might just survive !!

PinkCakes Tue 14-Jul-20 13:33:38

I've worked all through the pandemic (hospital ward receptionist, not a Covid ward, thankfully), but my husband was on furlough right up until last week. It used to get on my nerves to get home and find him sitting there, having done nothing. Now, he's back full-time, and things seem a bit more normal. I met a friend in a cafe last Friday, followed all the safety procedures, and it was lovely to have a catch-up.

Could you meet a friend in a park?

Dinahmo Tue 14-Jul-20 13:39:48

What's needed is a man cave so that the men can be shunted outside, or to a separate room. When the father of a friend retired (a regional director of one of the major banks) he insisted on going shopping with his wife. He drove her mad, checking he price of everything and querying whether she needed such and such that was in her trolley. Luckily, he played golf and got various part time directorships so he was soon off her hands.

Craftycat Why don't you put his car back on the road and use it?

ninathenana Tue 14-Jul-20 17:45:47

Himself has been retired 12 yrs. He does have a couple of p/t seasonal gardening jobs and he spends quiet a bit of time in his workshop and at the allotment. So although he doesn't officially work, I don't get chance to be fed up of having around 😃

V3ra Tue 14-Jul-20 18:02:09

We're the other way around: I've been working throughout and my husband's been home on furlough.
He's done several diy jobs that have been waiting a while.
He also started cooking our dinner most nights.
Now he's back at work, the chap who previously covered his role at the weekends has been made redundant, so my husband's been working every other weekend as well as all week so twelve days on the trot!
He's shattered and I'm having to cook again 🤣

FarNorth Tue 14-Jul-20 18:20:20

That sounds unfair to the weekend guy, V3ra, as the work is still there to be done.

Craftycat try not to focus on your DH as the source of your annoyance.
The main thing that's wrong is the unnatural situation we all are in, your DH included.
I recommend getting your car back, tho.

Rosalyn69 Tue 14-Jul-20 18:27:49

Groundhog Day indeed. It’s gradually getting better but 24/7 togetherness has been a nightmare.

Hetty58 Tue 14-Jul-20 18:32:37

I've heard the same problem several times - when friends' husbands retire. They seem to expect more togetherness, while their wives rush to join more outside activities. Craftycat, you are having a trial run of it!

BlueSky Tue 14-Jul-20 18:46:21

Not fed up at all! We are both retired, we have spent the last couple of years together so this is nothing new. We enjoy getting out and about and dread the thought of one day being left on our own.

kittylester Tue 14-Jul-20 20:51:44

I echo what BlueSky said completely.

Though I hope dh's volunteering starts again for 1 morning.

lemongrove Tue 14-Jul-20 21:17:53

We both retired years ago and are happy with each others company ( thank the Lord!) because I can see how it is for some people.
Even with the virus and how things are, it’s important to do a few things on your own now and then though.Invite a good friend for coffee in your garden with you, for a good chat?

Dollymc2 Tue 14-Jul-20 21:36:58

No, I'm not fed up, he's good company and has a very dry wit, which helps
We've both been retired a few years now and I suppose we are used to being together in the house
He does enjoy his golf and consequently, I enjoy some time to myself
Why don't you ask friends round for tea outside or something like that? Just to break things up a bit
But I agree with you, roll on normalty. ..

NannyDee Tue 14-Jul-20 21:59:24

I can understand how you are all feeling...however, my DH is terminally ill, spends most of his days sleeping. I’d give anything for him to be getting under my feet, in the way make the most of your time together, you never know what’s around the corner.

Dollymc2 Tue 14-Jul-20 22:10:47


BlueSky Tue 14-Jul-20 22:13:30

NannyDee 💜

Megs36 Tue 14-Jul-20 22:18:36

Nanny Dee much sympathy from me, exactly my sentiments ;nearly our Diamond wedding we are so lucky and I count my blessings. 🌹🌹

sodapop Wed 15-Jul-20 09:25:52

I have to say I would be having words about the car situation. It's one thing to take his car off the the road but then to annex yours all the time Craftycat is beyond the pale.
Some compromise called for here.

midgey Wed 15-Jul-20 09:30:53

This a a flavour of things to come, now is the time to change things! Hopefully you will retired together for a long time.