Public cleavages

Would considerate a show of cleavage as inappropriate at a funeral. Many deceased request mourners nit to wear black but even so a bit if respect doesn't go amiss regardless of what colour of dress is requested, ample busted or not.

Lemongrove, you are hilarious.
Dress requirements noted, I have a nice hat & can improvise & use a net curtain for the veil. I hope that it won’t be needed for many years though ?.

"Yes, of course we ‘need to pass judgement on what people are wearing at a funeral’..... why ever shouldn’t we?"

Maybe at a funeral one's mind could be on things other than the notion that it's our place to decide the suitability of what everyone else is wearing. Honestly, do you really go through life sniffing snootily at those who are not 100% conformist? How sadly petty!

Summerlove, you are right - dress codes change. The dress code that I had in mind was the dress code for the current time that we're in right now, not at one point in the past.

That said, it is our responsibility to update ourselves on the dress code, is it not? (Hence, I don't wear hats or gloves.)

Personally, I find it extremely uncomfortable around any woman who feels the need to have her 'assets' on show. I am myself well endowed and have never felt the need to be an exhibitionist. The question of "common and tacky" discussed on this site yesterday and this kind of flesh display definitely on the spectrum.

Way back in my teens I attended the funeral of a friend's father. I dressed conservatively but three girls about my age (17/18) wore very short mini skirts and hotpants (bum cheek revealers) and low cut tops. The deceased's wife didn't seem to notice but the vicar asked the girls to cover up or leave. They left after arguing that it was how they always dressed and they didn't have 'drab' clothes. So much bare flesh on show at a funeral did not seem appropriate, then or now.

I don’t understand the constant need to judge women’s outfits though, anyway

I don't see anything wrong in judging outfits whomsoever is wearing them. I do it all the time and my main conclusion is that most clothes/fashions are hideous and most people have no style but just wear certain things because the things are 'fashionable' or it is 'expected'.

I think most people judge outfits as well, otherwise why would there be differences of taste and why would we spend time choosing what we like?

What are fashion and style for but to judge clothes (and hair styles and shoes, etc)?

No. Before my wrangle with breast cancer, I had enormous knockers! It didn't matter what I wore, the 'girls' always peeped out. However, a cami or filler could usually re-establish decorum. And decorum is needed for funerals, job interviews and similar.

GrannyAnnie2010, a well balanced response

Last night, talking on the phone to my sister about this subject, she told me that there was an episode of Emmerdale where the character, Moira Dingle, displays the puppies (my sister's description.) Not being a fan of soaps, I looked it up. It was in November 2016.
evoke.ie/2016/11/05/showbiz/soaps/emmerdales-moira-dingle-causes-a-stir-with-funeral-cleavage
The comments are hilarious.

When partying perhaps, but a funeral is not a party hence exposed cleavage sends the wrong message. It's the same reason that people dress conservatively and why even women with 'attractive' cleavage usually cover up. It's done out of respect for the family and the deceased.

Lucca - ?

Glorybee

Yes, it does help if the legs are nice to look at. I suppose you could always get a ‘best’ pair for weddings and funerals!

My chap had an Austrian mother, she made him wear lederhosen for years. Went down a storm with his mates in a working class area of an industrial Yorkshire town......

Nice clean blue jeans.

I attended a wedding in Italy last year. There were guests in long dresses, short dresses, suits, casual jackets, jeans. It was lovely. (Although I did sometimes feel I was an extra in The Godfather )
Maybe it’s time to relax a bit about dress codes ?
Question: would you prefer someone to, wear a vastly immodest black dress or nice clean blue jeans ?

Yes, it does help if the legs are nice to look at. I suppose you could always get a ‘best’ pair for weddings and funerals!

s

My postman wears shorts all year round. Nice leg ?

I know someone who wears knee length shorts all year round , however cold it gets, but wore a very smart suit for his friend’s wedding and wore smart trousers for a funeral. It’s about respecting the occasion, as well as everyone else who attends, and not drawing attention to yourself unnecessarily.

GrannyAnnie2010

There is a dress code for a funeral, as there is for a wedding, a job interview, an audience with the queen or attending Ascot. In more formal settings, it’s called a uniform. A light shawl at a funeral or in a religious building would be the answer to the “but what if she (load of excuses)”. Just as I can’t bear to be presented with the builder’s crack, I really can’t bear cleavage on show in certain settings, while I admire them at weddings and less formal situations.

So the short answer is – it’s impolite to deviate from the dress code whether expressed or otherwise.

Dress codes change though.

At one point the “dress code” was to wear mourning colours for a year.

Time moves on. Traditions change.

I await a few outraged howls ?

You forgot your tongue in cheek emoji grandtante

Wearing the correct dress is being respectful to your host/hostess and family, whatever the occasion.?
Nobody need be too stuffy about it, but generally conform to what everybody else will be wearing.Being a rebel or a maverick is best left for your own party.?

At the funeral of an elderly relative I was really surprised to see the daughter - about fiftyish - sporting a skin tight black dress split almost to knicker level, revealing lacy top stockings and suspenders. Not my idea of appropriate wear, but hey ho - not my business!

Paperbackwriter

I once went to a funeral where the wife of a well-known rock star was wearing the shortest possible black lace dress. I thought she looked terrific though from the remarks on here I'm assuming there'd be a lot of tutting from the Gransnet collective. Do we really need to pass judgement on what people are wearing at a funeral? Isn't it their own business? Maybe the outfit was a particular favourite of the deceased. Or maybe the boobs-in-question were!

Yes, of course we ‘need to pass judgement on what people are wearing at a funeral’..... why ever shouldn’t we?
Not so very long ago everybody seemed to know the kind of thing that was appropriate to a certain occasion, both in dress and in behaviour.Now they don’t, it’s a simple as that.
Nobody needed telling not to wear short, low cut dresses to a funeral ( rock stars wives excepted)? or jeans and a vest top to a formal wedding, or to constantly applaud in the theatre,
Talk on their phones in the cinema, eat vast takeaways sitting cheek by jowl with other passengers on a train etc etc etc.
It’s the cult of ‘me, me, me’.

I personally would choose to wear a long-sleeved blouse that buttoned to the neck and a skirt reaching to just below my knees at a funeral.